12/2/17

lunabee34: (spn: dean at end by secretly_to_dream)
1. My dad is not doing well. He's been feeling physically bad for the past two weeks, including one ER visit. They uploaded the latest results of blood work to the portal yesterday, and his cancer markers are rising again. This is not good news. Mom is extremely depressed; she's trying to wait to completely give in to despair until she speaks to the doctor, but she's losing her optimism.

2. I feel guilty being upset about my own health when Mom and Dad are going through something much more traumatic, but I am really bummed out. I've been having some low level twinges this past week from my IC which pisses me off because if I am giving up eating everything I truly love then I better damn well not have any IC symptoms, you know? I also had to strike another thing I'd been eating frequently because it has soy in it; well, may have soy in it. The ingredient list says something like "vegetable oil (corn, soybean or safflower"), so no way to tell for sure. *sigh* At least I'm not having any side effects from the Elmiron; I did have night sweats a couple times since I started taking it, which is annoying but not on the level of losing my hair or feeling like I have to throw up all the time. So at least there's that.

3. On a more positive note, I have replaced some of my underwear with the correct size and bought several pairs of yoga pants and a pair of pajama pants in my size. I hope to buy a few more pairs of underwear and yoga pants this weekend and close out those categories of wardrobe building. My friends and I are going shopping on the first weekend of March, and I hope to get some nice dresses at that point. I'm going to see Mom and Dad that week, and I hope Mom and I can go shopping. cut for discussion of weight )

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