The main page for the 2017 Jack/Daniel Ficathon can be found here.
The overall page for the umbrella collection of all the Jack/Daniel Ficathons is here.
Posting Before the Due Date
If it's before the due date, please post directly to the current year's subcollection (so that we can reveal all the works together). Go to the subcollection's page and click the button POST TO COLLECTION. This will load the Post New Work page as usual, with the collection already filled in. Don't forget to include your recipient's name in the 'Gift this work to' field! (It's OK to include even if they don't have an AO3 account.) The collection will be moderated until the scheduled posting date of August 27, 2017.
Posting On/After the Due Date
If you're uploading the work to AO3 for the first time, you can do either of the following: (a) Click the POST TO COLLECTION button at that year's collection (as described above). (b) Click the POST NEW button on your Dashboard, and put the collection name (jd_ficathon_xiv) in the Post to Collections/Challenges field. Don't forget to include your recipient's name in the 'Gift this work to' field! (It's OK to include even if they don't have an AO3 account.)
If you're adding a work that's already posted to the archive, all you need to do is connect the existing work to the collection. To do that, go to the work's page. Right above the comment area on that page, there's a row of buttons, including Add to Collections. Click that button, in the input field start typing "jd_ficathon" -- without the quotation marks and with the underscore -- and pick the year/number you wrote the fic for from the dropdown list. If the system doesn't offer to autocomplete the collection name, type it in yourself. This year's name is jd_ficathon_xiv. (For prior year's collections names, see the Collection FAQ.)
I love his granddaughter and I don’t want her feelings to be hurt by announcing on social media that I am expecting my first grandchild. She is 8 years old and knows that I am her father’s stepmother, but I still don’t want to hurt her. Whenever she comes over, my husband and I both spoil her (like grandparents should), but she has always favored her “Papa.”
The problem for me is that I am much younger than my husband, and I didn’t want my social media friends to think that I was old enough to have an 8-year-old grandchild.
How can I say that I am expecting my first grandchild without making her feel like she doesn’t count?
— Grandma to Be
Dear Grandma: I appreciate your sensitivity about this situation, but I have news for you — you are already a “Grandma.” You have been one for the past eight years, and for you to try to find a way to deny this now that you are about to have a “real” grandchild in your life is all about your own vanity.
Your young granddaughter wouldn’t be the only person surprised (and possibly hurt) by the revelation that she isn’t your grandchild. Her parents, especially the parent you “helped to raise,” would likely be quite wounded.
I could also venture a guess that the reason your granddaughter has always favored her “Papa” is because you are signaling to her in a variety of ways that she is a placeholder for the real grandchild who will someday come along and claim your heart.
I became a grandmother quite young — at least it seemed so at the time, because I wasn’t prepared for this life stage. But family comes to you in different ways and at different times, whether or not you’re ready (or “old enough”) for it.
And so now the thing to do is to take to social media to announce your joy at the birth of your second grandchild.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My stepfather’s grandson’s wedding is black-tie optional, and my stepfather’s children are renting him a tux. My mom, who is 90, thought she would wear a nice pants outfit with a dressy jacket, and is resistant to buying something new. She has been through a lot this year (treatment for lymphoma, cancer surgery, and she recently fell and broke her pelvis, so she is in a lot of pain).
I and my three sisters (my mom’s only children) live on the opposite coast, but we are now being pressured by the mother of the groom (my stepfather’s daughter) and my stepfather to see that she is outfitted appropriately -- not just for the wedding, but also for the rehearsal dinner (cocktail attire) and the wedding breakfast to be held the day after the wedding.
They have also expressed concerns about the shoes my mother prefers (very safe, comfortable, but not at all dressy). My sister even heard my stepfather tell her that if she doesn’t get something new to wear, she can stay home and not attend the wedding or other events.
My mother doesn’t stand up for herself, unfortunately. Two of us will be traveling to see her soon, and plan to take her shopping. My sister is even purchasing a few things for my mom that she will bring with her, in the hopes that maybe something will fit and work for this event.
Personally, I think it is extremely superficial of them to dictate what she wears (especially since the wedding is six months from now!). If it were me, I would just be thrilled they are both well enough to attend, regardless of how they are dressed.
Is my mother wrong to resist the request to buy something more formal? Or should the step-family back off?
GENTLE READER: What happened to the “optional” part?
While Miss Manners always advocates dressing properly for the occasion -- and generally abhors “optional,” as it just invites chaos -- the particulars of your mother’s dress seem to be unduly fixated upon here. There is certainly a lot of undue angst being put into this poor woman’s wardrobe that seemingly requires three separate outfits and uncomfortable, possibly dangerous, shoes.
If your mother can reasonably be jollied into the shopping expedition or accepts one of your sister’s choices for one new outfit, fine. But if not, please talk to your stepfather about “backing off.” Surely this cannot really be worth all of this fuss.
Tell us about a perfume you've always wanted but never been able to find. This can run the gamut from, "I wish I could find a perfume that has X, X, and X notes," to "I wish I could find a perfume that smells the way looking at Cate Blanchett makes me feel inside."
I'm really interested in hearing about the perfumes you wish existed that don't.
monanotlisa: This is not the long post I've been meaning to make