lunabee34: (avengers: cpn america by youcallitwinter)
1. All grades have been turned in, and my duties for this semester conclude! Yay! I was more magnanimous than I usually am, too. I don't know if I should feel good or bad about that. LOL

2. My endoscopy is tomorrow morning, and I am getting really nervous. I know intellectually that it is a very minor procedure that will be fine, but anesthesia really wigs me out as does the thought of something going down my throat. I am so glad the girls don't have to have this done; I would be a basket case worrying about them.

3. We've been watching The Man in the High Castle, which I've enjoyed so far, except that in the second episode we get SPOILERS )

4. I am taking Emma out of school on Thursday to see Civil War. I am sitting on my hands not to click on any of your reviews. I can't wait!

5. I've been re-reading a lot of Steve/Tony MCU fics that I had previously recced (once I emerged from the Darcy Lewis rabbit-hole I spent the past month happily traversing). One big series I really enjoyed on the first read does not hold up for me although Devildoll's Semaphore is as delightful now as it was on the first read (I do so love me a well-executed OC, especially when that OC is an octogenarian who can drink Thor under the table.). It's always so interesting to me to go back and read fic that I enjoyed in the early days of a fandom, say the first sixth months to a year, and see if it still holds up for me and why.
lunabee34: (reading by tabaqui)
1. [personal profile] sholio is hosting a great discussion about leaving comments on fic that you might find interesting.

2. Every couple years, I stumble across a fic, and I think, "This! This is it! This is the best thing I have ever read in fandom." Well, it's happened again (except this time, I think it's going to take a lot longer for me to stumble across something I think is better than this story.)

Sansukh by [archiveofourown.org profile] determanfidd
Lord of the Rings/Hobbit
Bilbo/Thorin, Legolas/Gimli, canon pairings
WIP 200,000+

This fic is brilliantly written, beautifully characterized, and something I am going to be dreadfully sad to say goodbye to when it is finished. I think this fic would appeal to book purists as well as people who are coming to Middle Earth via the movies. This writer has done her research and the world-building is magnificent. She creates a fully realized and complex culture for the Dwarves. She makes characters who are barely mentioned in the book canon and who remain one dimensional in the movies into richly nuanced and fascinating people. I cannot stress enough how interesting this plot is, how real these characters feel, and the wonderful things this writer is doing with language and tone.

I know that extreme length is often a worrying aspect of fics because it often means a story is repetitive, goes on tangents, or ends every chapter with a lengthy sex scene just because. I can assure this is not the case with this fic. This plot is tightly woven with nothing out of place, nothing belabored, no weird little author rants to pad out the word count. And there's been no sex at all! Bilbo and Thorin haven't even been in the same room. LOL I know for some people, the lack of sex might be an issue, but I haven't missed it one bit. I have been thoroughly satisfied with the story without it.

The fic is fairly angsty; the plot (which is giving nothing away as the reader learns this immediately) is that Thorin can watch the world of the living from the halls of his ancestors (in many ways, this story reminds me of that fantastic Clint/Coulson afterlife fic by PlotDotOh) and so he watches Bilbo age and the company set out and Legolas and Gimli forge an inexplicable friendship. The afterlife itself is a place of activity as well as a site of hope. And that's really what this fic leaves me with: more than the angst and the sorrow, this is a story about hope and love, and it fills my heart to the brimful. :)

I like how heavily the writer incorporates the female Dwarves, and many people have gifted her with fanart of the Dwarrowdams that she links at the beginnings of chapters that is not to be missed.

This story has thousands of kudos and comments and it deserves every single one of them. I sincerely cannot imagine y'all not loving this story as much as I do.
lunabee34: (reading by thelastgoodname)
[personal profile] karmageddon asked me to talk about what books kids should read at what ages. ELementary school must-reads, Middle school must reads. How/what to teach kids about literature.

This is a very timely topic as Josh and I have been pondering recently how to handle this very issue with Emma.

I suppose I should begin with a brief discussion of my own childhood as a reader. Even though I grew up in the pre-Internet era and my choices for reading material were confined to actual, physical books, I had access to a wide variety of books, and my reading was rarely curtailed. My house was full of hundreds of books, and I had access to them all. I had free rein of the school library, and I was allowed to buy whatever I wanted at the bookstore (Oh, Walden Books, you died such a sad death decades ago) without Mom even checking to see what I'd bought. Only once did my parents try to curtail what I read. My mother had a collection of more than 100 romance novels, and we're not talking Harlequins here. These were sexually explicit, epic tomes of historical romantic fiction. Once she realized I was reading these books, she tried to keep me from them (but I'd already pretty much read them all at that point) with limited success.

I would like for Emma to have that same lack of restriction, and I truly don't think there is anything that she *shouldn't* read. There are no books that we have hidden anywhere. They're all out in the open, and she could technically take any of them without telling us and I probably wouldn't know she was reading it unless she told me. I think Josh did put the only copy of Playboy we own (mmmmmmm, Charisma Carpenter) in our bedroom at one point, but it was on the shelf for years before he did that, and I put it back when I realized what he'd done.

I only have two concerns with what Emma reads. The first is that I don't want her to scare herself and inconvenience me by having nightmares/being scared of the dark, to be a blunt and selfish parent. LOL In the past few months, she's expressed a lot of interest in reading Stephen King, and I'm hesitant to let her read something that turns me into a whimpering ninny. I told her she could read The Langoliers and The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, but she hasn't taken me up on it yet. She wants to read Skeleton Crew instead, of course. LOL

The second is that I don't want her to read something she's not ready for. We like angst and violence and dystopias, Josh and I, and I don't want her get fixated on something that she's not ready to think about yet. As smart and precocious as she is, Emma is still very much a child by her own choice. Even while many of those around her are hurtling headlong as fast as they can into what passes for adulthood to 11 year olds, Emma fiercely clings to childhood. She's not boycrazy; she doesn't want to read about sex or really even see kissing on TV. So far, other than the King, she hasn't asked to read anything I'd feel uncomfortable letting her read, so that hasn't become an issue yet.

As far as teaching kids about literature goes, I think the three most important things that parents can do at home is to read themselves in front of their children, read aloud to their children, and talk to their children about what the children read on their own. The number one predictor of how students will perform in any of my classes is whether they read for pleasure. I almost never have students who don't read on their own time earn A's in my classes. It's a little scary how accurate that one predictor is. I always tell my students that if the only time they read is when they are forced to for school they should think of themselves as athletes who only practice their sport during games. It's astonishing the degree to which reading influences the quality of student writing as well. I see it with Emma. Because she reads so much, she has internalized the fundamentals of narrative structure and grammar.

In terms of must-reads, I probably would mention all the tried and true Caldecott and Newbery winners you guys already know about. Instead I will tell you about a couple of books for teensy kiddos that I really like.

First Book of Sushi by Amy Sanger Wilson is fantastic. The art is great (lots of red, black and white), and I love the text. This author has done a whole line of board books about cuisine from different cultures. I also really like Kitten's First Full Moon by Kevin Henkes. It's a kitty! In lovely black and white.
lunabee34: (hp: draco by so_severus)
Fiona is sleeping, Ems has a friend over for a sleepover, my husband is barefoot in the kitchen making some kickass leek/potato/cod chowder for tomorrow, and I don't want to grade at all!

So let's talk about betrayal in fiction, gentle flist.

I was reading a HP story last night that I'd read before (one in which Draco and Charlie are forced to bond by the Ministry), and while I haven't gotten there yet, I know the part where Draco betrays Charlie and Harry's trust (or starts to betray and then aborts, I can't remember exactly) is coming up. AND I LOVE THAT PART. Like a lot. All Draco's control has been wrested from him; his life has beaten him into submission, and he just wants to feel like he is in charge of himself again for once. I sympathize hard with him, and the move feels so in character for him while generating all the lovely angst I could ever want to read.

I realized while I was thinking about this idea that I really enjoy reading about betrayal in fiction. I don't so much like to be betrayed in real life, but I eat it up with a spoon in stories. I love it when the betrayal is a misunderstanding, a mis-perception on one character's fault, and no betrayal at all has truly occurred. I love it when the betrayal is, as in the HP story I reference, something the character is driven to, something he may not even want to do, but something that feels necessary in some way. I love it when the betrayal is intentional and meant to hurt, and is either something the characters cannot get over or begins an arduous recovery process.

I know a lot of people don't read stories about sexual betrayal, but I enjoy those as well. I don't really encounter a lot of them in fandom because the prevailing sentiment seems to be against them, but as an angst lover, they're right up my alley.

So where do y'all stand on betrayal in fiction? In general, do you like reading about it? Only certain kinds? Only for certain characters? Only if there's a happy ending?

*chin hands*
lunabee34: (are those men kissing? by animekittysama)
So, as you all know, I'm a NOTPer. I don't ship in the classical sense of the word. I am interested in lots of different pairings, and if a writer can sell it (no matter how unconventional the pairing may be), I will totally buy it with glee. I also enjoy writing rare pairs; so, for instance, in SGA, I'm just as likely to write Bates/Kavanagh as I am John/Rodney and to read Teyla/Sora as John/Elizabeth.

All this lead-up to say that I just realized I do kinda ship within the canonicity of the show. Oh, this wine makes the talking to be hard. LOL Let me give you some examples. When I watch episodes of SPN, I think Sam and Dean are totally straight. I don't really see canonical evidence to the contrary, and while I am sitting on my couch watching the show, I am rooting for Dean to figure out some way to be with Lisa and wishing Sam could have totally hot demony sex with Ruby again. But when I read and write fic for the show, I pair the two of them all over the place: with each other, with Castiel, with Ash (heee!). Or take NCIS. While watching the show, I am all about the Tony/Ziva. Love it. I have a hard time shipping Gibbs with anybody. He seems pretty much asexual to me; I think he gave up on that part of his life when his wife died, and any hints that canon gives us for relationships with him are all straight. But I can totally dig some Tony/Gibbs or Tony/Tim or Tony/Abby or whatever. Spander is another good example. I cut my fannish teeth on Spike/Xander, and I adore the pairing, but to me it makes absolutely no sense from a canonical standpoint. Or Harry/Draco. At any given point, I am more likely to be reading a Harry/Draco fic than anything else there is to read, and yet I never ever would have pegged that to be the dominant pairing of the fandom after finishing the series.

Does anybody else do this? Have kind of a disconnect between what seems plausible to you while watching the show or reading the book and what you want to read/write for fanfic? One set of ships for consuming the media and other set of ships for behaving fannishly about them?

(Caveats: Obviously subtext exists to some degree for all the pairings I've mentioned (even if it's just one arch look in one episode and a half season spent sharing a basement sullenly) and YMMV on that; not raining on anybody's subtext parade here. Also not saying that an unconventional ship can't be canonically compatible; in fact, that's the kind I like to read and write the most.)
lunabee34: (voyager: tuvok/neelix by dragonflyopera)
I frequently say to myself, "Lorraine, you are just like Walt Whitman with your multitudes and your contradictions," and if I am not alone in the room at the time, then I become so shortly thereafter this third-person declaration.

You see, my friends, I know what good writing looks like. I enjoy to read the good writing. I even produce it myself on occasion. And yet I can frequently be found consuming what is best categorized as melodramatic drivel. I don't know why I get sucked in by the pearlescent tears that fall from Draco's cerulean eyes to heal the mortal wound that Harry received while scaling the nearly impenetrable walls of Malfoy Manor to rescue him in a haze of true love and throbbing hearts. I have no words to explain why I'll spend hours reading a story written by someone who seems to know that Jack O'Neill is male and in the military but none of the other salient points of his characterization.

Surely the rest of you do this, too. Yes?

Remember, I'm not asking if you've read the particular fic mentioned or even anything in that fandom, just if you've engaged in reading a "bad" fic for the reasons given in the poll question.

[Poll #1752654]

So, why do we do read these kinds of stories? I honestly cannot articulate a clear and complete answer for myself, but it basically breaks down to a handful of things for me:

1. I find the story amusing in its badficcyness, or
2. I want to cry and be sad and melodramatic crescendos do it for me everytime, or
3. Something about the story is awesome and catches my attention (could be plot, could be character insight, etc), or
4. It hits a bullet proof narrative kink for me (like mpreg or everybody-misunderstands-everyone-else-and-cries-about-it), or
5. It's such a rare pairing that I have to take what I can get, or
6. Just because.

What about y'all?
lunabee34: (Ouida by ponders_life)
[livejournal.com profile] the_emu has a fascinating post about writing HERE. [livejournal.com profile] the_emu is currently serially posting a story; the story is complete, but ze's using the interim between chapters to tweak and edit the unposted portions of the story in response to audience feedback.

This post got me to thinking about serial writing and posting of fic.

The very first fanfic I wrote was a Big Bang length Spike/Xander that I wrote out longhand on legal pads, typed up, edited, and then thought—How do I go about getting this onto the internet with all the other fanfic? LOL I posted the whole thing to a Yahoo listserv, met a handful of people who introduced me to livejournal, and set up shop over here.

The first thing I noticed on lj circa 2005 was that everyone seemed to be posting long fic serially—a part each week or each day or sometimes according to no discernable schedule at all. And so when I started my next long fic, I wrote and posted it serially as well.

After I’d posted a few chapters, I definitely could see the draw of posting a story this way. Posting serially generates a lot of energy and excitement for both reader and writer.

cut for length )

So now I want to know what you think. How do you feel about serial writing and posting of fic as a writer, as a reader, or as both? What are the pros and cons? Have you done it yourself, and if so, how did that experience compare to posting a fully edited story? Talk to me about writing!
lunabee34: (reading by thelastgoodname)


ETA: Ahahaahahahaha. This Auto-Transcribe shit makes me sound way smarter than I am.

ETA: It's like babelfish.

ETA: Or a tone poem.
lunabee34: (Default)
[Poll #1578098]

ETA: I had this whole post to go with this poll and then I accidentally hit return before I could insert that text. *headdesk* So, you know, I'd love to hear your thoughts on reccing--what makes a good one, how important they are to your fannish experience, what irritates you about reccing, and what you'd like to see more of in rec posts.
lunabee34: (fandom is my fandom by laurashapiro)
Apparently there's another round of Mary Sue debate going around, and I wanted to weigh in on the subject.

This is mostly in response to [livejournal.com profile] friendshipper's very cogent response and is in parts a verbatim repetition of my comment to her post.

I'm a professor of English. Writing's my gig. I teach the next generation of newbies how not to sound like complete dumbasses when attempting to communicate an idea. Literature's my thing, too. The good stuff. And not just the old dead white guys. I'm a canon-busting broad.

So please understand me when I say what I'm about to say next.

Go to ff.net. Go to Wraithbait. Type in some search term to delicious. And I guarantee that you're gonna get a hit count of fics that don't live up to your (for general and random senses of "your") standards. And I also guarantee that a preponderance of those fics will have the kind of comment count that makes you go, "Hmmm?"

And here's what I have to say about that (in all my inarticulate, studying for my comps glory):

We Many of us* come to fanfic for other stuff than we come to profic. (And this isn't a discussion of quality either. The best shit I've ever read ever is fanfic and the worst dreck I've ever read was sold on the shelves of a bookstore.) Because fanfic for a lot of us* is about conversation: with the source text, with each other, with ourselves (especially if we choose to write in a fandom more than once). I find myself adoring stories that are about tropes that emotionally resonate with me regardless of the quality of writing. There are narrative arcs that mean something to me (often something quite profound), that satisfy something within in me, that grip me, completely independently of writerly skill. And often Mary Sues are the avenue of exploration for those ideas.

And a lot of us fans are still in our formative years. Who are we? What do we believe? What are our possibilities? And some of us who are past that time in our lives traditionally devoted to experimentation and questioning are also opening to new possibilities, to new scripts. If fanfic is for a lot of us a safe way to think about and explore sexual permutations that we've not had the opportunity to explore in Real Life, who wants to shit on that parade?

And so for me... that's the bottom line. A Mary Sue story isn't necessarily going to be my favorite. I may back button out of that sucker two paragraphs in. But when I realize that this might be someone's id fic in the best sense: his, her, hir struggle to understand him/her/ze self, who the fuck am I to cry foul? It should be celebrated.

(And I'm not trying to ascribe to fanfic powers outside its purview, but I've known too many people, myself included, who as fans who read fanfic were able to explore their sexuality or other avenues of their personalities that weren't otherwise available for exploration in their current lives.]

Does that at all make sense?

[*ETA: I wrote this really late last night after reading an undue amount of Victorian literature and did not mean to imply any such thing as a One True Fandom.]
lunabee34: (fandom is my fandom by laurashapiro)
So I just finished The Ordeal of Richard Feverel by George Meredith (which I highly reccommend; it's a well told story) and I've caught up on fannish gossip with Sue and I'm thinking about reading some Snape fic, but before I do, I wanna talk to you guys. I miss y'all. I'm making myself crazy with this reading regimen. Like scary crazy. I'm a have the vapors eeeeeny second now.

So here is a talking point, gentle flist:

What keeps you reading a piece of fanfic despite a horrific abuse of the rules of punctuation and grammar or rampant OOC-ness or weepy!Ron who weeps and weeps all over the place? What sorts of things in fic keep you reading when you'd have backbuttoned out of another story? In other words, what are your bulletproof fanfic kinks (and I'm defining kink here as that which you can't resist, which satisfies you deeply, which you are drawn to, which gets you off in some way (not necessarily a sexual one))? What are your narrative kinks (ex. mpreg, epigraphs, lots of dialogue, aliens made them do it), your character kinks (ex. Inara has a secret, Giles is a closet fan of Blakes 7, Sam is jealous of Dean), your fanon kinks (ex. Buffy smells like vanilla, Xander's parents are abusive)?
lunabee34: (meta foucault by jjjean65)
Based on conversations I've been having with you guys after Writercon, I wonder if it might be useful to separate out the question of definitions from some of the other things we've been talking about. I'd be interested to see the range of definitions for these terms laid out clearly.

So, pretend this is Twitter. In 140 characters or less for each, Tweet me your definitions of bob, gen, gron, het, and slash (and any other words you regularly use to label your stories according to sexual or romantic content).
lunabee34: (meta foucault by jjjean65)
I have a question.

A few days ago, I read the delightfully funny The Awful Truth by [livejournal.com profile] blade_girl. The rec in which I found the story states: I rec this one with a caveat to slash fans - as a fan of both slash and gen, I must tell you this story contains apparently slashy elements, but is ultimately gen (regardless of the author's notes); and may prove unsatisfying to a slasher. That being said, I find it a plausible, positive, and touching take on the characters and their friendship.) I found this description intriguing and it was pretty much the impetus for me reading the story. The notes for the story itself state: A slash story AND a gen story at the same time. I can’t explain that without giving away the ending, so I ask you to read regardless of your preference. Both the writer of this story and at least one reader of the story (and I assume probably more) seem to think that labeling this fic as slash is problematic.

So my question is the following: what makes a slash fic?

SPOILERS for The Awful Truth )
lunabee34: (sga talk by monanotlisa)
I am a little disappointed.

And a little annoyed.

In no small part at myself, but also at fandom at large.

And so I come to you, dear friends who are wiser than me, for advice.

I dropped the ball on the last [livejournal.com profile] sga_talk discussion. This whole new assistant professor, teaching five classes, QEP, SACS, why yes you have to finish your Ph.D. right now or we won't give you tenure gig is a little exhausting. And stressing. And I forgot to do a reminder post for this last discussion. And I forgot to drum up participation once I saw that I was, again, the only commenter. And I forgot to assign a new piece to read for the 1st of September.

So, yes. Culpability, I own you.

But here's the thing, y'all. Here's the thing.

I think [livejournal.com profile] sga_talk is awesome for a lot of reasons. I love to write. I am a writer. I become a better writer when I talk with other people about writing. And I like having a structured place to do this. I love to read. I am a reader. I have made reading and nattering on about it to other people my life's profession. I love literary analysis of fanfic. I also love reading outside of my comfort zone. I have so little time to hunt for fic now that I pretty much exclusively read the flist or large challenges like Big Bang. I find the good stuff through [livejournal.com profile] sga_talk that I would never find otherwise. I also like to meet people and I have met through [livejournal.com profile] sga_talk some really cool people with interesting ideas about SGA and writing and fandom. I think [livejournal.com profile] sga_talk is poised to be a vital segment of fandom.

And yet, it saddens me that I have to beg and grovel for participation in what other fans say over and over again that they want.

Believe me when I say that I understand there are obstacles to participating in a comm of this nature. RL is in the way; you have no time to read this week; you hate the featured pairing; you vowed never to read amnesia fic again; you're too wrapped up in Big Bang. All valid reasons not to participate.

But a significant portion of fandom says over and over again that it wants constructive criticism. A significant portion of fandom says over and over again that it thinks of fanfic as having the same kind of value and interest as published works and that it wants literary analysis of fannish works. And yet, in a comm with 69 members, I can count on only four other people besides myself and [livejournal.com profile] lyrstzha to regularly comment.

So what am I doing wrong? What am I not getting?

And while I am showing my ass, as we say in the South, let me also make this complaint. Why oh why is it that we fans criticize again and again the source material for giving short shrift to women and fanfic for doing the same; why is it that we lament the representation of women and of queer female relationships both in our source texts and in the fannish works we create but when it comes time to read and talk about femslash, everybody disappears? Even in its honeymoon phase when participation in [livejournal.com profile] sga_talk was at its highest, the femslash selections received the fewest comments. This makes me angry, particularly since there is an AWESOME and truly unique femslash fic sitting in [livejournal.com profile] sga_talk right now that no one but myself has commented on.

I am having a really hard time reconciling what I think I hear fandom say that it wants and needs and what fandom actually ends up doing.

So, help me, y'all. I think [livejournal.com profile] sga_talk can be an amazing community, but I don't know how to get it to that point. What can I do (besides, oh, getting my head out of my ass and doing my modly duties like I'm supposed to; *is embarrassed*)? What are your suggestions?
lunabee34: (meta foucault by jjjean65)
ADMIN ANN: I am no longer checking my yahoo email regularly. Your best bet to reach me is through my aol account (same screenname as, well, everything). Terribly sorry, [livejournal.com profile] executrix; I know you must think I've been ignoring you and heartily apologize and shall email forthwith.

:)

So, I've been retagging my rec entries and re-reading a few things here and there along the way and while I was looking over some entries from the first few months of my fannish days, something god-awful happened.

I realized that a lot of what I used to read and thoroughly enjoy is fairly bad writing. This is not to say that everything I read in those early days was crap (there's the timeless excellence of a [livejournal.com profile] tabaqui or [livejournal.com profile] yin_again or [livejournal.com profile] wesleysgirl mixed in there among the drivel), but a surprising amount of it is.

I re-read something this morning that I had thought in the early months of 2005 to be edgy and novel and glorious that now appears to me as very silly and ridiculous. There's pretty much zero motivation for the characters to behave the way they do and Xander's stare is recounted in an ever-increasingly poetic list of candy-related adjectives (his limpid pools of Toblerone indeed) and the fanon--it is thick. To be clear, this is not bad fic. It is not horrifically written by any means and it was well-received when posted and while I find the characterization a little lacking, neither Xander or Spike behave wildly out of character; however, overall, this story is nothing that I would currently rec.

I think the reason for my change of heart is partly because what now I clearly see as a cliche fic wasn't apparently so in those beginning days of fandom. Because I was new and hadn't read thirteen million basement fics, I had no idea this particular example was just perpetuating (or ye gods, maybe even *starting*) all the fanon associated with that kind of story. And I also think I didn't know what I wanted fanfic to *do* for me. I didn't know yet that I was gonna be so fond of canon plausibility or that I would eventually favor the very explainy first time fic over the established relationship PWP every time. I didn't realize that I would ever be so interested in peripheral characters or *mothers* (dude, how many mom fics have I written? LOL) I didn't realize that I wanted fic to give me a new lens through which to look at canon and go, "OMG. *That's* what they were doing during the commercial break. HOLY SHIT."

I wonder if this is the normal trajectory for current fans, or does this radical taste change make me fairly unique? I mean, after all, it isn't as if my profic reading tastes have really changed over the past fifteen years. The books on my highschool rec list (not that I made those in my diaries or nothing) still make it onto this year's edition.
lunabee34: (Default)
Expect spammation this weekend. I am all by my lonesome and also ill and unlikely to go anywhere. Consider yourselves thusly warned. :)

So, I've been thinking about something for a little while now and then [livejournal.com profile] thelastgoodname and I emailed about it and I decided to make a post because I find myself intensely curious about the way the rest of you approach this issue.

Until very recently, the fanfic I wrote fell into one of two categories. I either wrote stories that I thought other people would like to read (stories that the current trajectory of fandom is loving) or stories for which I received some bolt of lightning kind of inspiration (and these usually tend towards backstory or bits that canon has elided). By and large, the kinds of stories I usually write are not the kinds of stories I most like to read. In fact, I would often find myself thinking, "I'd really love to read X story. Why has no one written it?" while doing nothing about it.

It suddenly occurred to me that *I* could write the stories I wanted to read. Um, yes. Duh. Really, really duh. But for me not so much. It's taken me a while to get into the headspace where I can enjoy something I've written as much as something someone else has written, and even then I don't enjoy it in the same way. I still would prefer that someone else write that kickass Sheppard/Caldwell sex-slave AU because if I wrote it there would be no mystery for me there, no hanging on the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen. There would be pleasure in the words and in the craft of it and in the figuring out the bones of the story, but it's not the same kind of pleasure as coming to a piece entirely from the outside (or as outside as you can be given the way that fandom has a tendecy to make us all rub off on influence each other LOL). Also for me is the issue that many of the stories I really, really want to read hit kinks (either sexual or narrative) that somehow feel strangely personal to write stories about. For example, I have no qualms telling you guys that I enjoy rape fic, but it somehow makes me feel vulnerable to contemplate writing it myself.

Even so, I've found myself writing fic in the past couple months that I wanted as a reader rather than a writer. So what about y'all? Thoughts? Examples?
lunabee34: (meta foucault by jjjean65)
Del.icio.us has not changed the way I internet overmuch. I don't have an account myself and I don't use the site to find fic that other people have bookmarked that I might like to read.

But I do check del.icio.us on a regular basis for my own screen name. Oh, yes. That's right. I said it. LOL I wanna see who's saving my fic to their accounts.

In this way I learned that while very few people commented on my SPN/SGA crossover (that I'd labored over for months and am inordinately proud of), a handful who didn't comment at all saved the fic to their del.icio.us accounts. This made me very happy and feel good about continuing to write fic in that universe. Del.icio.us was also the straw that broke the camel's back in regards to my recent layout change. I'd been planning to change it for awhile and then when I del.icio.us-ed myself today, I saw that someone had left me a note telling me they liked the story they'd saved but couldn't find the comment button on my journal to leave feedback. LOL

So, my question to you is--Am I the only person who does this? Am I the lone egomaniac on the flist or are you guys checking yourselves out too?
lunabee34: (club_joss by chocgood84)
For those of you who don't know, back in the heyday of my Jossverse fannish love, I co-moderated a community called [livejournal.com profile] club_joss that was a discussion group for Buffyverse and Firefly fanfic. I think it was a hugely successful comm and I think everyone who participated in our discussions had a positive experience. I abandoned [livejournal.com profile] club_joss as a result of both my waning interest in Buffyverse fic and because of time constraints. I've been thinking ever since I got into SPN and SGA that it would be really nice to run a similar comm for one or both fandoms and I'd like to gauge your interest in participating.

Just a brief run down of how the comm would work (and for those of you who were members of [livejournal.com profile] club_joss I would do things a little differently to help mitigate the time drain of running a comm):

Read more )
lunabee34: (this ain't yo daddy's shipper fic by sto)
So, is there a huge disconnect between the kinds of stories you fantasize for your favorite characters and the kinds of stories you actually write for them? Because the answer for me is YES! Even if I have fantasized a story in excrutiating detail (which is how I fantasize--excrutiatingly. My fantasies come equipped with bathroom breaks for all and long expositiony bits that explain what everyone had for dinner and just how long that drive from Cheyenne Mt. to the HoJo is), I most likely will not write that story down for public consumption. I tend to actually write stories that interest me on an intellectual level rather than a sexual one. I want to *read* stories that are like the ones I fantasize, but I don't often write them.

Here's an example.

In which Lorraine wears her shamed, yet turned on face )

I would read the hell out of this story and feedback it and rec it on my journal and love it and name it George. But I have no compulsion to write it. I think that's because the act of writing de-eroticizes the scenario for me. It turns it from this situation that I think is hot into SOMETHING I AM TRYING TO GET RIGHT. You know what I mean? I want the characterization to be spot on and the dialogue to ring true and the language to be interesting and vital in the pieces I write. Translating something that turns me on into a product that I want to share with you guys takes me out of my comfort zone in terms of writing.

What about y'all? Am I alone in this?

ETA: I almost never get turned on or scared or saddened by the things I write. It's almost as if they don't affect me on an emotional level at all. (The only exception being "Thanatopsis" for which I bawled during the entire four hour period of time it took me to write it). I get the feeling this makes me a weirdo.

Also, where is all the Sheppard/Caldwell? *whines*
lunabee34: (Default)
I've been thinking lately about [livejournal.com profile] club_joss and how I feel that it's in many ways failed to live up to its potential. Part of the problem feels like personal failure; I simply can't be as involved as I was when [livejournal.com profile] chocgood84 and I first created it. I've got much more of a social life, and I'm pretending to work working on my dissertation, too. But I wonder if part of the problem is just that my mission for the comm isn't one that's widely shared.

I had hoped that people would use [livejournal.com profile] club_joss in several ways:

1. As a reading list or a rec list of fics they might not normally encounter in their everyday fannish involvement. I expected that many of the people using the comm in this way would not participate in the discussion.

2. As a place to share fandom squee: "This author wrote my very favorite story!" "This is the best X/X story I've ever read!" and so on.

3. As a place for writers to find encouragement and to discover things about their writing they might not be aware of--basically a more in-depth feedback system that allows for constructive criticism.

4. As a place where fans who mainly read fanfic instead of writing it can feel as if they still have a voice in fandom.

5. As a place where *readers* can hone their reading skills, and thus, their writing skills. This is where I think I have a very different vision for [livejournal.com profile] club_joss. I think the maxim that "good writers are good readers" is a widely accepted one, and one that holds true for fanfic writing as well. (Of course, I realize that writing is not every fan's goal) I think that engaging a text on a deeper level than many of us do when we're reading for pleasure is key in writing well ourselves. I know this is true for me. When I was in poetry workshops in undergrad, my writing improved through reading and talking about my classmates' pieces. By really breaking down what they wrote, I better understood the way I wanted to write. I had hoped that more people would appear to be using C_J in this vein by now. Anyways, /rambliness

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