I have been a bridesmaid and bridesmatron (and, boy, is that a life-affirming title) about four million times and they've run the gamut from "Shot gun wedding and we're gonna rent your dresses from the prom rental place and they're maroon" to "I inexplicably believe the female ass is excentuated with rhinestones and a bow the size of a fat child; me a Sir Mix-a-Lot are totally BFF."