My dad was never really an ally; he was hugely nonconfrontational and told me basically to not upset mom and not talk about my decisions and just do whatever I wanted without having The God Discussion with her. That was the path my younger sister took; she was more wily than I.

But my dad was living proof that you could be a good person, a spiritual person, without church and without dogma. He was and is a real sweetheart, despite his faults.