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Snarky Lorraine is Snarky (hormones are involved)
Dear Fandom,
Nobody says, "Ngghhh," when they are making love. Or, "Mgggghhhhh," or "garggggggh." These are the kinds of noises made by feral sheep as they leap from crag to crag delicately on cloven hooves. Or possibly the beginnings of a courtship ritual between the pirate leaders of two warring factions. Not the sexy ululations of your OTP on the cusp of the little death.
"The Captain" and "the Vulcan" politely request that they be referred to by name, or at the very least, the appropriate pronouns. "The younger man" and "the vampire" remind you that while legislation on the use of epithets is slow to move through fandom tribunal, backbuttoning in that eventuality is swift and fierce.
JENSEN ACKLES DOES NOT WANT INSIDE OUR COLLECTIVE UNDERTHINGS. This is perhaps the saddest of all truths I have to tell, dearest Fandom, because We know how good We'd be for him, don't We? Almost as good as Jared. Or Chris Kane. Or under the most dire, and intriguing, of circumstances, the CMM. What is his problem anyway? If launching ourselves down stairwells and wishing HIS BETROTHED would choke already on her own vomit aren't turn ons, I don't know what is.
Jennifer Keller is [and I learned a new word last night; brace yourselves for this one because it's aces] hoshit fabulous! And when she and Rodney do it, Sheppard presses his ear to the wall and he cries while he masturbates (just like Sam Winchester!) because Keller is just that smoking and he wants her too. Well, on the nights Elizabeth is otherwise engaged.
Pavel Chekov. The new little black dress, people. Take note.
WHERE IS THE CALDWELL/SHEPPARD? (Sorry, that one's just habit.)
And finally, I'm almost one hundred percent positive that Lucifer didn't write SGU. He got carpal tunnel writing the first three seasons of SG-1 [Hell, I got carpal tunnel of the eyes watching them] and had to retire.
Sincerely,
Lorraine
ETA PS If y'all wanted to make me black and white Jo icons that wouldn't be the end of the world.
Nobody says, "Ngghhh," when they are making love. Or, "Mgggghhhhh," or "garggggggh." These are the kinds of noises made by feral sheep as they leap from crag to crag delicately on cloven hooves. Or possibly the beginnings of a courtship ritual between the pirate leaders of two warring factions. Not the sexy ululations of your OTP on the cusp of the little death.
"The Captain" and "the Vulcan" politely request that they be referred to by name, or at the very least, the appropriate pronouns. "The younger man" and "the vampire" remind you that while legislation on the use of epithets is slow to move through fandom tribunal, backbuttoning in that eventuality is swift and fierce.
JENSEN ACKLES DOES NOT WANT INSIDE OUR COLLECTIVE UNDERTHINGS. This is perhaps the saddest of all truths I have to tell, dearest Fandom, because We know how good We'd be for him, don't We? Almost as good as Jared. Or Chris Kane. Or under the most dire, and intriguing, of circumstances, the CMM. What is his problem anyway? If launching ourselves down stairwells and wishing HIS BETROTHED would choke already on her own vomit aren't turn ons, I don't know what is.
Jennifer Keller is [and I learned a new word last night; brace yourselves for this one because it's aces] hoshit fabulous! And when she and Rodney do it, Sheppard presses his ear to the wall and he cries while he masturbates (just like Sam Winchester!) because Keller is just that smoking and he wants her too. Well, on the nights Elizabeth is otherwise engaged.
Pavel Chekov. The new little black dress, people. Take note.
WHERE IS THE CALDWELL/SHEPPARD? (Sorry, that one's just habit.)
And finally, I'm almost one hundred percent positive that Lucifer didn't write SGU. He got carpal tunnel writing the first three seasons of SG-1 [Hell, I got carpal tunnel of the eyes watching them] and had to retire.
Sincerely,
Lorraine
ETA PS If y'all wanted to make me black and white Jo icons that wouldn't be the end of the world.
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I want Colonel Sumner to get pregnant. With Bates's baby. That has got to be the ultimate in mpregging.
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The index is here, series starts here and the bit with Rodney and Kavanaugh fighting over which college their kid will go to is here
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And Miko is so wise. I love love love what fandom has done with her. If they make a movie, I hope she's in it.
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Oh Miko! She has the absolute best fanon characterization (I'm still in awe of the AU where she was a leather-clad dominatrix. It's always the quiet ones!)
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