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Urination: A Rant
Do you know what separates humans from animals besides the opposable thumbs and insane credit card debt?
Manners, my friends. Manners.
I am sick and tired of going into a public restroom stall that looks like a hyena has been in there spraying her scent. I am tired of the fine misting of urine that coats every surface and the inch deep puddle of piss that pools around the base of the toilet.
For the love of all that is holy, ladies, sit on the freaking toilet to pee!
I don't care what urban legend your best friend told you in junior high--you cannot contract flesh-eating syphilitic gonnorhea from sitting on a public toilet seat. Unless you plan to scrub an open wound on the commode or clean it with your tongue, your body is pretty much an impenetrable fortress and safe from from the evil toilet germs.
I am tired of accidentally sitting in pee. I am tired of wiping up other people's pee. I am tired of stepping in pee and smelling pee. My vision of the ideal human condition does not involve hovering in a squat and releasing my bladder willynilly over a device which was designed To Be Sat Upon.
I have the opposable thumbs and the massive debt, and I sit on the toilet to pee instead of hosing down the stall for the next person. O. M. G. !!!!!!!!!
Manners, my friends. Manners.
I am sick and tired of going into a public restroom stall that looks like a hyena has been in there spraying her scent. I am tired of the fine misting of urine that coats every surface and the inch deep puddle of piss that pools around the base of the toilet.
For the love of all that is holy, ladies, sit on the freaking toilet to pee!
I don't care what urban legend your best friend told you in junior high--you cannot contract flesh-eating syphilitic gonnorhea from sitting on a public toilet seat. Unless you plan to scrub an open wound on the commode or clean it with your tongue, your body is pretty much an impenetrable fortress and safe from from the evil toilet germs.
I am tired of accidentally sitting in pee. I am tired of wiping up other people's pee. I am tired of stepping in pee and smelling pee. My vision of the ideal human condition does not involve hovering in a squat and releasing my bladder willynilly over a device which was designed To Be Sat Upon.
I have the opposable thumbs and the massive debt, and I sit on the toilet to pee instead of hosing down the stall for the next person. O. M. G. !!!!!!!!!
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It's written in the Bro Code: Thou shalt stand sentry for stupid pranks. Corollary: the stupider the prank is the more crucial that it shall be carried out in its entirety.
ETA: for evidence of this rule and its corollary see the entirety of Jackass.
no subject