1. Remus Lupin, so that when Carrot finally dumps Angua for THE CITY they can have adorable werewolf babies together. And also be snarky and delicious. And, hm, let's say... Lord Peter Wimsey. Because Vimes needs to duke (HAH!) it out with at least one of the old school detectives, obvs., and I prefer Wimsey to Holmes as often as not.

2. I know a joke! A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender to make him an alligator sandwich. The bartender says, "An alligator sandwich, huh?" The man says, "Yeah, and be quick about it!"

...

You did start me on that Discworld theme, it's hardly my fault.

3. Kirk/Lorraine actually works better than Pike/Lorraine according to my totally arbitrary system's strict laws. Um.

4. Uhhh. Extreme humiliation, I guess; overpowering awkwardness. And so forth. People walking in ever so hilariously on their children's sex scenes when they'd intended to finally have that serious talk they'd been putting off forever and ever.

5. ...I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS enlighten me and I will answerrrrr
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