lunabee34

1. I got a package of clothes from executrix! And I had very successful shopping trip (even shoes!) so I am all set for back to school! <3 <3

2. Fiona's hair is so cute. Her little blue ombre at the bottom of her bob is just adorable. Hair-dorable, even.

3. I have purchased a pedometer. It does nothing but pedominate,no phone or internet connection required. I always lusted after fitness watches only to discover they weren't compatible with my phone. As the salesperson said to me derisively, "You want this one? This is a phone for a child." My child's phone came with the Samsung Health app which was fine except of course it only counted the steps taken while holding the phone. About a year ago, it started asking me to connect my phone number or something like that, and I just refused, so it wouldn't let me open the app, but I could still see my step count in the notification bar. Which, fine. That's all I ever really used it for anyway. This app would ask me like three times a day to agree to the new terms, and I would refuse every single time. Well, on my clothes shopping trip, I went to check how many steps we'd walked, and there was no step count in the notification bar. The app had deleted itself! I had actually tried to delete the app when I first got the phone, and it was one of those I couldn't delete. I have been rejected by a proprietary app! So, I got this pedometer for 25 bucks and it is awesome and doing its job in motivating me to be more physically active.

4. The girls just watched Centaurworld on Netflix which is an extremely silly cartoon with lots of singing that also turns out to have one of the best twists I've ever seen in any show. Wow. Highly recommend.

5. ( poetry )

1. This Thanksgiving week was truly wonderful. Josh got Emma on Friday, and my parents came on Monday. My brother and his family were supposed to come on Tuesday, but my sister-in-law caught the stomach virus that has been going around the school where she teaches and didn't feel 100% by the time they were supposed to leave on Tuesday morning. She was clearly really upset about having to cancel and didn't want to disappoint us and suggested they could come on Wednesday if she felt better, and I was like, "Look, girl. I have gone on many a trip that I shouldn't have because I didn't want to disappoint family and was afraid they'd be pissed, and I was miserable. I went to the big family reunion at mom's when Fiona was a baby when I was in the middle of an unrecognized allergic reaction to sulfa drugs, and it was hellish. Take care of yourself. We will not be mad." So they cancelled, and it's a good thing they did because my niece started throwing up Wednesday night. Poor kiddo. :(

Other than missing my brohopper and his crew, it was a perfect week. We ate like gluttonous worthless beings and it was glorious. Emma requested French onion soup, so we made that over the weekend (gruyere and brandy required, fights in the comments allowed); smoked catfish on Monday; smoked chicken on Tuesday; beef roast on Wednesday; ham on Thanksgiving. We watched the parade and had our Christmas with mom and dad in which among other generosities they forgave us $800 on our loan repayment for the new car (essentially this whole semester's worth of repayments). Another gift mom gave me is this beautiful silver tree sculpture; it's a gratitude tree, and it came with a box of leaves for everyone to write their gratitudes on. Then you hang them on the tree. So we did that on Thanksgiving day. It's really a beautiful piece of art, and it was sweet to share what we're thankful for.

Emma just burst out crying five minutes ago and hugged me and sobbed that she wasn't ready to go yet. I'm not ready for her to go yet either, but I put on my big girl panties and told her she's only going to be gone for a couple weeks and then she gets to come home for a whole month. It is very hard to be the mom sometimes, LOL.

2. I think this medicine is working! The neuro put me on gabapentin, and I have seen a marked reduction in skin and joint pain even at what he calls a "baby dose." It makes me really tired, so that's annoying; I definitely do not need any added fatigue, but I will take the pain reduction, and since the other initial side effects like dizziness, giddiness, etc have pretty much resolved, I'm hoping the tiredness will too. Exercise continues to be a mixed bag. I started doing yoga again with success, but walking just wears me out. We went for a walk yesterday, leisurely pace and maybe thirty minutes, and it exhausted me to a deeply annoying (Josh would say worrying) degree. *sigh*

3. Neuro has suggested that IV steroid infusions might also be something we try at some point. I think maybe some of you have experience with that. Any wisdom/advice you could offer? It sounds scary to me, and I'm worried about potential side effects. I haven't really done any research because we're not at that point yet, so I know very little about them.

4. My goal is to finish my Yuletide story before Monday. My recip has great prompts, I have an idea and a beginning on paper, and now I just need to get it done! Cheerleading appreciated.

1. I got a book from aphrodite_mine (The Yonder Side of Sass and Texas) that I'm looking forward to reading. <3

2. Fiona got her first dose of the COVID vaccine yesterday. Whoo!

3. Another colleague retired yesterday. Our numbers are dwindling pretty rapidly. On the upside, I think that means the possibilities for overload money are looking pretty good for spring semester, and we will need to bank as much of that as possible because if I get elected chair of Senate for next academic year, I will not be eligible for overload money during that academic year since the chair gets a course release. And that will make paying for that year of Emma's college a lot harder.

4. Once the Christmas travel is done, we are acquiring the pet cat. I was explaining in the comments to my last post that part of my antipathy to acquiring another pet cat is that I am really enjoying our nice furniture and don't want it destroyed. When we got our previous cats, we were late teens and living in squalid rentals and all our furniture was the garbage furniture our family was getting rid of. We never tried to train the cats not to scratch stuff. Frankly it never occurred to us. Everything we had was pretty much trash for years and years. We did not look ahead and think, "One day we will be grown up people living in nice circumstances with nice things we do not want destroyed" and train our cats for that future day. To be fair, they basically died right as we reached that day--we were very late bloomers--and I don't regret any of our time with them, bless their destructive hearts.

So, I am hoping that some of what I am dreading in getting a cat can be mitigated by actually training this new one. Anyone have any training advice or recs for toys, scratching posts, etc. that might be helpful?

5. So after that disastrous appointment with the rheumatologist, I have been unsurprisingly pretty depressed and second guessing everything pretty hard. I decided that maybe she's right and I'm just making this all up somehow or attention seeking or whatever, and if I just pretend it's not happening, it will go away. So on Sunday, Fiona and I went for a walk, and I did a very gentle 20 minute yoga session, and I have been exhausted and in pretty severe pain ever since then. LOL Like everywhere, not just places the yoga would have impacted, so I don't think I actually hurt myself with the yoga. I really, truly don't know what to do anymore. I am tired and hurting and really depressed about it, and I don't think I have the emotional resources to try to keep pursuing a diagnosis and treatment at this point. It's so time consuming and expensive and also just emotionally deflating to get my hopes up only to be told that the doc has no answers for me or worst case scenario to be met dismissively or hostilely. Tl;dr I am sad and I don't like it.

6. Josh is having an endoscopy today so say a prayer or light a candle or do whatever you do to release the kraken of goodness our way, please!

1. I got a wonderful birthday card from lyr, a box of books (including The Beautiful Ones by Silvia Moreno-Garcia, which I am very excited to read) from executrix, and a regular card from 020104isme. Quite the postal haul!

2. This morning the hawk was screeching its head off non-stop. It finally landed right on top of the bird feeder and perched there; I let it sit for awhile so we could admire it and then had Fiona shoo it off. I do not want it to start thinking of the bird feeder as its drive-through. It's beautiful and so big; at first it tried to perch on one of the curved hooks and kept wobbling comically until it perched right on the top finial where all the hooks converge. I can't tell if it's a juvenile or adult or what. It needs to shut up, though. So damn loud. LOL

3. We just watched Nanette, the comedy special on Netflix by Hannah Gadsby, and I cannot recommend it enough. I think it works best if you go into it unspoiled, but it definitely contains material that can be triggering for some people.

( spoilers )

4.

Fugitive Telemetry by Martha Wells

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I love Murderbot. I love Murderbot's humans. I love Murderbot acquiring additional humans.

:)



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5. And would this even be a post by Lorraine if it did not include some form of whining about health woes? This is a rhetorical question requiring no answer.

Josh got a bit better and then plateaued in this place where he just feels low-level wretched all the time. I guess I expected the meds to start making him feel better more quickly. :(

I dropped a full Yeti cup on my toe, and it hurts like a mother. It's not broken, but my toenail is a beautiful (truly) shade of blue.

6. Finally, might I recommend yoga nidra to any of you who have trouble sleeping? My foot hurt enough yesterday that I didn't want to do any of the actual yoga as it sometimes requires curling toes under and etc, so I did a yoga nidra meditation. Which was an enormous mistake because I did it in the middle of the day and it just about konked me out for the rest of the day. It was deeply, deeply effective at relaxation, like almost scarily so, and if I ever have trouble sleeping again, I am totally going to just find a session on youtube and do it in my bed. Wow.

I would like to talk about chronic pain and illness. I have been thinking a lot over the last year or so about the way both have impacted my life, and I wanted to share my thoughts with you as well as ask you to share anything you'd like to on these subjects. I know that many of you also deal with these issues.

( An itemized list of observations )

I personally welcome any advice or comments anyone wants to make, but remember not to give anyone who comments to this post advice unless they specifically request it.

1. I think I am getting better? I haven't registered a fever in four days. I do not feel like I am dying anymore. I felt well enough that I decided to start exercising again today, so I walked leisurely for fifteen minutes, and I still feel okay. I am taking it really slowly, though. Stupid slow. I do not want to relapse. Fifteen minutes felt enough like really doing something that it's clear that I am going to need to be very gentle with myself.

2. ( I reread Harriet Jacobs for that book chapter I wrote )

3. Everybody should go watch sholio's Fanvid: Defenders--Welcome to New York because it is glorious and will make you cry. And want to rewatch everything. LOL

4. Just in case you also want to go to sleep every night reading stationery blogs, these are my top three sites:

The Well-Appointed Desk

The Pen Addict

The Gentleman Stationer

These sites cover all kinds of pen, pencil, and paper use, but they also feature art and reviews of artists' supplies, so there's a wide range of posts that might interest many of you.

1. forestofglory asked: My go to question for this is talking about a meaningful tree for Tu BiShvat, the Jewish New Year of the Trees

My maternal grandparents had an extensive property, 110 acres with a pond and woods and all around their house in a grove were planted many varieties of camellias. Some of these camellias were the bush size that I'm sure everyone is used to, but dozens of them were towering trees--white and red with many ruffledy petals, big pink blooms with the prominent yellow stamens, stiff and waxy pink blooms with row after row of petals, so many shades of pink and white and red, so many textures. And those glossy green leaves. They were so beautiful. My brother and I would climb one that was directly outside of the kitchen window, and we'd wave to everyone inside the house.

2. I got a Valentine from misbegotten! <3

3. I went to the endocrinologist today for my annual poking and prodding. Here's hoping the many vials of blood can give me some answers about my exhaustion (well, beyond the whole you have a bunch of autoimmune disorders and this is now your life, buttercup). I overheard the phlebotomists conferring about how many vials to take because that sure was a lot of tests and how many could they accomplish per vial. LOL

4. I'm one book into the Fagles translation of The Iliad. I really enjoyed the translator's preface and the extensive intro (by a different scholar).

1. My mom gave Fiona this set of prose books based on Shakespeare's plays last Christmas. Fiona adores them; they are above her reading level (she's 6.5 and in first grade), but she spends hours reading them and loves the challenge. They're also full of these really macabre drawings that she really digs. We don't make her take a nap anymore, but we do make her spend an hour in her room after lunch playing by herself. Today, when I went in there to release her from alone time, she was all teary-eyed because "Julius Caesar was killed by his best friend, and Brutus killed his own self!" Y'all, Julius Caesar is so boring, let slip the dogs of war speech aside. I did not expect Fiona to get this emotionally invested in the story. She has gleefully read the versions of Macbeth, Hamlet, and King Lear in this series like a billion times, but she hadn't gotten to Julius Caesar yet; the more murdery the play, the better in her estimation! Poor baby. :/

2. I got a bunch of gift cards for Christmas, and I have been spending them. I bought Flawless which I love. The older I have gotten, the more I have gotten these tiny blonde hairs on my face, and I hate them so much. But I don't react well to waxing or depliatory creams anymore, and I was really frustrated. I really like Flawless so far. I read a bunch of reviews that say it doesn't work for long, and the heads need replacing too quickly, but I'd spend more than 19.99 trying to get my cheeks waxed one time, so even if it doesn't last all that long, I'm not bothered by the expense. I also bought Neutrogena Bright Boost, but I've only used it twice, so IDK if it's working yet. Finally, I bought Loreal Voluminous Mascara in Burgundy because a magazine told me to. I wasn't sure I'd like it to start with, but I do. It's very subtle, but I like it.

3. I am continuing to get benefit from the eye drops even though I'm only using them once a day. No sinus stuff or migraines, yay! I am getting random, weird taste in the mouth, but I'm not super bothered by it.

4. Josh bought me a light therapy lamp. I started using that yesterday. Too soon too tell what, if any, effect it's having. Stay tuned. LOL

5. I am reading so much Victorian lit crit and poetry (not Victorian) right now! I am super digging it.

1.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I absolutely love the conceit of this book--here are these weird photographs and an explanation for them that involves peculiar children and time loops and evil monsters on the rampage. I feel like the subsequent books don't ever quite capture how tightly written and plotted this first book is; this beginning novel is just so well done. I really like Jacob's narrative voice and the way the mystery unfolds. I'm looking forward to re-reading the next books.



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2. Oh, man. I got glutened somehow. I mean, that's the risk I take not keeping a totally gluten free house, but I had forgotten how wretched it feels. I've only been glutened a couple of times in the house since I went gluten free, so mostly it's fine, but I must have gotten a crumb or something at some point.
:(

3. I ran 1.25 miles today. I am coming to the conclusion that doctors are probably not going to be able to figure out why I'm so tired all the time and that this is now my normal and that I can't let it rule my life. I want to run, and I'm just going to have to do it whether I'm tired or not. Because I'm going to be tired. The end. *sigh*

4. I signed up for Yuletide! I'm already bookmarking letters for potential treats. I am so stoked. I can't wait to get my assignment.

5. I graded and left extensive feedback on two classes worth of 1101 essays in a little less than 26 hours, and several of those fuckers had gotten all inspired and written close to 2000 words! I am an English professor goddess! Worship me with tea and elegant paper goods!

1. Thank you, my friends, for your generosity. *hugs*

2. After a summer of swimming and biking, I started running today. Man, it sucks how quickly I lose stamina in a particular exercise, but I am determined to quickly get back into the groove. ( stats )

3. I think Josh is going to start exercise! His cholesterol is high and his doctor was stern. I am cautiously optimistic (although I do remember that almost dying did not encourage him to take better care of himself and that optimism withers). Optimism!

4. I have been using the Neutrogena Hydro-Burst Gel Cream Extra Dry Skin as my moisturizer for after I exercise because I don't need to use my SPF one to sit around inside the house each evening. It's based on hyaluronic acid and 100% can recommend. My skin is DRY, and this stuff is really moisturizing without making my face tacky. Love it.

5. First day of class. So glad to be back to work. Students today were on the ball. May that continue. I spent today working on putting together a proposal for a book chapter. It's a long shot, but I'm hopeful. I just feel all excited and aglow with the potential that every new semester brings.

6. Mandatory lunch meeting on Friday is going to be almost entirely gluten free (accidentally, but still). Whooooooo! I have finally, finally gotten work to institute the policy of releasing menus and allergen information ahead of events in enough time for people with dietary restrictions to plan accordingly. I hand wrote a thank you like I always do because this is the kind of behavior which needs accolades and reinforcement.

As an aside, I cannot tell you what a positive and significant impact writing thank you notes to people I work with has had on my career. I write at least three or four each year, usually to staff who help me with a project, and every year, I get at least one email from someone who's really touched. One woman told me she'd worked in our state's system of higher ed for like twenty years, and no one had ever written her a thank you for anything. I don't do it to grease the wheels; I do it because I'm Southern and that's what you do and also because it makes me feel good to be kind to others and express my appreciation. But also, it totally greases the wheels. :)