lunabee34 | SPN: Head of a Pin SPOILERS

I have seen a lot of posts that are highly critical of this episode so

this dump of squee may not be for you.

I get why a lot of people are perturbed with this episode. Season four of SPN is a lot like season six of BtVS [and I promise that this digression makes a point!]. When I first watched that season (with the exception of the musical episode), I pretty much hated it. I thought the season was weak and handwavy and, frankly, awful. It wasn't until I kinda forced myself to watch that season again that I really appreciated what Joss was doing and now I have massive love for that season's arc. You see, I love Buffy. She's the hero; she's strong yet vulnerable. She is one girl against all the evil of the world; she is the voice of justice when no one else can carry out that task. She is also funny and bendy and sweet with amazing sartorial sense. And in season six, she does terrible, terrible things. She behaves horribly towards Spike and she pretty much checks out of life and she becomes this hollow shell of what she once was. Which, yes, I get *now* was the whole point. She's depressed, she's hurting in this way that no one living can possibly ever hope to comprehend because she's been expelled from heaven and her mom has died and her daddy clearly does not give a shit and DUDE! The exploration of psyche that goes on there is awesome. But it hurts to watch Buffy be that person. It hurts to watch Willow, who in previous seasons was probably the character that I most identified with (smart and responsible and loyal and yet incredibly fun and witty and okay maybe I was just wishing for those last attributes but still; character like me! yay!), become a meglomaniac--an addict that damages herself and others. And Xander. Oh, Xander. The everyman. The heart. The one who sees. The one who leaves the woman he loves at the altar like a coward. Let's not forget Spike holding Buffy down in the shower or Giles turning tail and running in a mirror image of Xander's behavior and Dawn shoplifting and Anya returning to the vengeance biz. These are characters that I love, that sometimes feel more real and vital and interesting to me than the bullshit in my very real and non-magical life, and watching them destroy themselves and just in general behave like total shitheads hurts. The first go 'round, I felt so betrayed by the good guys that I couldn't think about what richness, what depth, what complexity their forays into darkness ultimately give the series as a whole. (I mean, seriously. Is Wesley even interesting until he locks a girl in the closet? LOL)

SPN is kind of in the same place. Sam has pulled his sock hat down tight over his ears, zipped up his parka, and taken a running leap down the slippery slope. Dean has done things that are awful, that are terrible, that may ultimately be unforgiveable. He's a different man than before that trip downstairs and I get why the gradual erosion of Sam and Dean's boundaries and morals and sense of ethical responsiblity bothers a lot of fans. IT'S SUPPOSED TO.

I am glad that Dean is different, that he is changed, that he and others perceive him to be weaker than he was before he died. Of course he's weaker! How lame would it be if Dean came back and he was exactly the same? I like that he is broken, that he is psychologically destroyed. And Sam. One of the over arching themes of SPN has been: Is Sam evil? If he is evil, can he resist that evil or should he be destroyed? I think the show has to go there, all the way, full throttle--has to give us a Sam who is changing, who is darker, who is damaging himself ala Willow with every personal boundary he eliminates. And now, when Sam is redeemed, that redemption will mean something. He will know just how far he can fall, just how lost he can become and that darkness will always be there inside unless he can keep it contained. Before, Sam turning evil was an amorphous threat, a possibility--like a car wreck or a gas leak. Now it's real and it's always there and he will have to learn to live knowing that he is a very real threat. (I will now refrain from making comparisons to Willow, Angel, Spike, and Connor.)

But I will make another Wesley reference. BECAUSE I CAN! :) Wesley's devolution is some masterful TV, y'all, and is, I think, the number one reason to watch Ats. You smoke one toke over the line, sweet Jesus, and pretty soon you're taking bong hits from a used gas can that your best friend gave you for your birthday. When SPN has shown us older hunters, they have been invariably bitter, fucked up, solitary people. I don't think you can keep hunting all your live long days and also keep your personal integrity because at some point the two will become mutually exclusive. You can't do the job forever without one day brushing up against some evil that only goes away when you do something heinous to get rid of it. Rougarou anybody? Or werewolves? Maybe John Winchester didn't get down off Alistair's table, but he didn't exactly deserve Father of the Year when he was alive either. Hunters are stone and hunting is the acid rain that eats away at their resolve.

I used to think that I would tire very quickly of SPN, that since the only relationship the show was ever going to fully develop or, oh, not kill one half of was Sam and Dean's, that I sooner or later they would run through every permutation possible between these two boys and I would just go, "Whatever. Been there. Angsted that." But I was so damn wrong. Those things that stay the same--the sacrifices they make for each other, Dean's big brother role, Sammy's vulnerability, two boys walking in step--those have never gotten old for me. And the things that are changing--Dean's new vulnerability, the lack of trust between them--those just make them sweeter.

In terms of this actual episode, I love love love love love that finally they have given a reason for the angels to have pulled Dean out of hell that doesn't start: Into every generation, a Slayer is born. Dean broke the first seal and so he must be the one to seal the deal [ahahahahahahh I am awesome. Ahem.] I swear I almost heard John say, "Back in 1835... they say Samuel Colt made a gun." Way to tie together all those loose plot threads and get with the sense-making, Kripke. Bravo!!

I love that again we get no evidence that God is real. I love that every single angel in this episode acknowledges that they have no idea whether God even exists and I love that Uriel admits that he thinks something is incredibly wrong with the orders they've been given. Contrary to a lot of other fans, I very much like that Uriel turned out to have his own agenda. He was clear from the start that he did not like humanity, that we usurped the angels' position of favor with God, and I like that finally--just like demons--canon gives us angels who are working for their own agendas and often at cross purposes. They are united by tradition and belief, but not a singular entity [God] that is telling them what to do. Of course, Lucifer being a real entity kinda fucks with my idea that he also is a mythical being. I really hope SPN doesn't lame that up, but I'm taking a wait and see attitude there. I hate that Uriel died; I love that actor [Bunny Colvin, whooooooo!] and I loved the interplay between Uriel and Castiel. But I think that Uriel's betrayal, Uriel's death, is the only thing that could have pushed Castiel into the place of doubt we leave him at episode's close. Castiel is Dean, with the largely absent father whose sometimes nonsensical orders must be obeyed without question. And like season one Dean, Castiel is a good soldier. He does what he's told and he toes the party line and he finishes the mission. Castiel's worldview, his sense of what is right and wrong and who is to be trusted has to be completely destroyed before he can even contemplate disobedience. I think losing Uriel, who is clearly the closest friend he has, pushes him over that edge. I also like that we have an explanation for what I found to be very contradictory characterization with Uriel. Anna and Castiel tell us that angels don't have emotions and that acquiring them is a gift of humanity. Uriel is incredibly emotional--he's angry, vengeful, sarcastic, even amused at times. Very different than Castiel's alien bird stare. And now we know that this is because Uriel has already fallen. Oh, he may not have ripped out his grace or anything so dramatical, but he's turned his back on the mission. He has ceased to be an angel in the way that Castiel is. I wonder how many centuries in the making Uriel's disobedience has been.

I love Castiel's evolution--the beginnings of emotions in him, his doubts, his fears. I think he's going to be the Neville of this story arc. He may not exactly defeat Voldemort but he's going to be totally necessary to the war against evil. And I bet the Cas/Dean shippers had a field day with this one.

Killing off secondary characters remains my only true quibble with this show. Please for the love of baby Sammy, Kripke, let somebody who's not SamBobbyDean live once in a while. I get the whole "one family against the world" vibe but you are taking it to terrible extremes. Much like Axe Body Spray.

Okay, *ducks the tomatoes*. I think like I'm alone on this since every review I've read so far has been negative. Feel free to criticize. :)

Huh. This got really long. Like, really long. With analogies. *hides*

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

tabaqui

OMGOMGOMG.
I love you.
So much.

I haven't seen much in the way of negative reviews, but i know people are upset and chaffing and cranky over stuff and THIS.

This is why i love Show, this is why i'm practically jittering out of my chair every thursday, this is why i *watch* and re-watch and write and angst and *care*, so damn much.

I hate that Sam and Dean are so distant and unhappy and falling to pieces but it has to be like this. Dean was *in hell*. He's fucked six ways from sunday and that's on top of all the *other* ways he was fucked before.

And Sam - Sam saw him die. Sam failed to save him. Sam tried to die, himself, and Sam is convinced that not only is he tainted - impure - but that he's the only one that can do this and that he has to shield his brother and shoulder these burdens and *make it right*.

And he has all those little-brother problems of hero-worship gone sour and inferiority and resentment and desperate, needy love....

And yes, i love that nobody's seen god. That nobody's seen Lucifer for an eon. That they exist as figureheads and distant parental figures but that they're not really *real*. And i love that it all seems to be breaking down.

Castiel is...just.... I love his doubts, his courage, his clear affection for Dean. I love that he wants so badly to do good, but sees the harm in what's going on - in his orders and in the war.

I love that Uriel had angels on his side that now, at his death, might turn against Castiel and the boys - that might tip the balance badly, or might repent....or might become a third faction in this two-sided war.

Just....YES.
*twirls you around*

This should be linked on the newsletter. :)

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SPN: Head of a Pin SPOILERS

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