We shall breed no more, thus sayeth Lorraine

[lunabee34]

Josh is getting a vasectomy tomorrow, and he's nervous about it. I completely understand his anxiety, but I think he'll be okay. The one thing I was worried about was blood clots given his history, but the doctor assured us that this surgery poses almost no risk of blood clots and he's never seen anyone develop a blood clot due to a vasectomy in his decades of doing the surgery. Whew.

We'd been talking about Josh getting one since Fi was born, and a couple weeks ago out of the blue, he told me he'd made an appointment to get one.

We had to go to the consultation together because, get this, they refuse to do vasectomies unless wives sign a waiver saying it's okay. I mean, clearly they do this to avoid litigation; they (or at least the industry in general) have probably been sued before by wives who say their husbands have secretly obtained vasectomies when the wives wanted more children. But, man, this rubbed me the wrong way. He should have complete autonomy over his body. Wow.

I was also nonplussed that they didn't formally schedule the surgery until today. Fortunately they scheduled it at a time that was convenient for us, but we have no family here. If they'd given him the 5:30 slot they told him yesterday was an option, how would we have gotten Fi and Ems to school? Zero amount of time to plan.

Anyway, wish his crotch well, y'all. :)

Comments

[zulu]

Much luck to Josh and his nethers! My brother had a vasectomy (three kids under the age of five at that point!) and it went pretty well as far as I know. At least, that same night we were playing Settlers of Catan while he sat on an icebag, so I assume it was fine. :D

[lunabee34]

Hee. I read Josh your comment and he was suitably encouraged. :)

[umadoshi]

Good luck to him! As a data point, scruloose had it done soon after we got married, and it went completely fine.

We had to go to the consultation together because, get this, they refuse to do vasectomies unless wives sign a waiver saying it's okay.

Wow, total opposite of "our" experience. And I say "our" in scare quotes because scruloose went to the GP and asked for a referral, and after a little while got a letter that said "your consultation and vasectomy are on [date]". It struck us as a little odd to not have to discuss it with anyone before the day of, but that was nothing on his actual "consultation". It went as follows:

[scruloose got prepped for the procedure and was ON THE TABLE]

Surgeon: So, you married?

scruloose: Yes.

Surgeon: Got any kids?

scruloose: Nope.

Surgeon: Does your wife know you're here?

scruloose: ...um. YES.

[lunabee34]

This made Josh laugh. :)

[umadoshi]

Excellent. ^_^

[torachan]

Hope all goes well!

[lunabee34]

Thank you!

[jackandahat]

Good luck and speedy recovery!

I've heard from quite a few guys who had to get "consent from the wife" - only one said she had to sign anything, the others just had to be at the doctor's. It seems to be fairly common on this side of the pond.

[lunabee34]

Thank you so much. He is on the mend. <3

[likeadeuce]

Whoa did you have to CONSENT,not just acknowledge you'd been informed? That's nuts (it does make me feel a little better tho abt how much women get hassled about
getting thrir tubes tied/ what does their partner think etc. At least the idiocy goes both ways?)

[lunabee34]

I think I had to consent. IDK, I just signed the paper without paying it much attention (which is probably not a good practice LOL).

But it really shocked me even though it shouldn't have given the idiocy you mention re: women and their tubes.

[spikedluv]

Best wishes to Josh and his crotch!

Weird that you had to consent. At least it goes both ways wrt women and men, but still, odd. They gave my sister a hard time about wanting her tubes tied after she had Ireland AND A HEART ATTACK because of her age. *smh*

(Using the squirrel icon for my last comment, not my wishes for Josh and his crotch. *g*)

[lunabee34]

His crotch thanks you!

I cannot tell you how angry it makes me that women get hassled about getting their tubes tied from largely male doctors. It's a quality of life issue and, you know, if somebody gets hysterectomy or tubal ligation and ten years later, they decide they want a kid, they can adopt one! I'm sorry your sister had to go through that. *hugs*

[spikedluv]

Yeah, it's very frustrating, and so pervasive I think sometimes we don't even realize it's happening.

[archersangel]

the local hospital here schedules same-day surgeries the day before & if you don't hear from them before 4 p.m. that day you need to call them.

was that a 5:30 a.m. possibility?

the best of luck to him & his crotch.

[lunabee34]

That's exactly the way it was here, only it wasn't clear in the paperwork that we'd be scheduled the day before. So Josh calls two days before asking about his appt. time and the nurse said he might be scheduled as early as 5:30 a.m. We live an hour's drive away. I was not excited about that idea.

Fortunately, they called him yesterday and gave us an 830 slot. So we could drop off the kids at the regular time and then head out to Macon.

[cloudsinvenice]

I hope he's recovering comfortably now!

R had one in 2006 and we had an absurd experience - we explained our reasons to the doctor (he'd never wanted kids, and the severity of my health issues meant it wouldn't be wise to go through pregnancy/childbirth/child-rearing) and had a damned hard time convincing him! He claimed to have a 'special interest' in my condition and to know my specialist, and said that I shouldn't have any more problems than other women, which ROTFL NO. What finally convinced him was me saying that R's family are all abroad and I can only rely on my ageing mother, so we'd have no support with a child. I realise that at 24 I was young to be okaying my life partner's decision (as if he should need my okay in the first place), but it all felt very rooted in local culture and traditionalism and patriarchy....

[lunabee34]

He is pretty much back to normal. Thank you. :)

Oh my gosh, that is absurd. :( I genuinely do not understand what doctors are thinking sometimes. I get that some of it is motivated by wanting to avoid lawsuits, but the ones who seem to just genuinely believe that people in their twenties can't make these kinds of decisions are so obnoxious.