Five for Friday

[lunabee34]

1. I have suspected for awhile that I might have Sjogren's Syndrome. My grandmother had it, and I have some of the symptoms of it. I've not pursued getting a diagnosis because the symptoms have been pretty mild and also could be attributed to either Hashimoto's or celiac. Didn't seem worth the expense to just confirm that I have it.

At the beginning of January, my eyes got so dry that I am having trouble seeing. They are always dry to some degree but never like this before. My vision has been blurry for a month now, and driving at night is starting to seem truly dangerous. I started taking flaxseed oil and fish oil and using some drops, and that has helped, but not nearly as much as I'd like. I know my eyes themselves are okay because I had an eye exam in mid-December, and he didn't see any sign of glaucoma or cataracts or anything wrong. Yesterday, they'd gotten dry enough that they're red and inflamed. *sigh*

So, I'm going to make an appointment today to see my endo. I hope something magical can be done about this because it's really interfering with my quality of life. I also wonder if this is the origin of my fatigue. I keep being sure my thyroid has finally crapped out but it hasn't; if I'm having Sjogren's flares that could account for it.

Of course, there's always the possibility that I don't have it at all, and this is just a new wonderful thing I get told I have to live with. I'll go back to the optometrist at that point, I guess.

2. So, Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Big Mac's parents are clearly dead in MLP. They never use the word dead or say exactly what happened to them, but the show clearly intends to convey that they have died. Yesterday, we watched the episode where the Apple kids find out about their parents' Romeo and Juliet style romance, and I ugly cried because it was so damn sweet, and then when it was all over, I was like, wait.

I have been assuming that Twilight and the gang are supposed to be the equivalent of college age or just past college age. They are treated like adults and able to make their own decisions. Apple Bloom seems like she's in junior high. So, there's at least 10 years between them. Applejack and Big Mac don't remember their parents. So, either they don't remember parents that died when they were about 10, or Apple Bloom was born after they died.

I saw a fan theory that Apple Bloom is actually Applejack's illegitimate daughter rather than her sister. I will wait for that episode with bated breath. LOL

3. Gotham!!!!

This show is so completely and utterly absurd and ridiculous, and yet it manages to just hit me in the id over and over again.

Case in point: Jim makes absolutely certain that Harvey knows he's #1 and that his old friend will never supplant him.

Case in point: Even while threatening to kill each other, Oswald and Ed also still clearly care very deeply about each other. How does Penguin manage to arouse all my sympathies (you were my only other friend with the quaver in his voice) while being so vile and wretched?! Ditto Ed.

Case in point: Harvey getting the friendship/teachable moment with Bruce instead of Jim.

Case in point: B.D. Wong chewing up all the scenery and spitting that shit out.

Case in point: We don't care about people!

I knew, knew, knew the old Army buddy was going to be bad news in some way even if it was just that he had different ideas for how to run things than Jim; naturally the show has gone with worst case scenario of Pure D.Evil.

I was deeply surprised that Ed actually is being controlled. I thought he was going to have to live with the fact that part of him had wanted to commit that atrocity.

So bored with Bruce and Selena. Also bored with Jeremiah.

4. So, I've been bopping along with my poetry writing plan: reading lots of poems, thinking about how they work, writing in my notebook. I had the thought that writing about my fear of death might be fruitful. It was if by fruitful I mean anxiety attack inducing. LOL Turns out that dwelling on my fears does not exorcise them but exercise them. I shall not be the 21st century voice of Thanatopsis, alas.

5. I finished the big project at work for values of having finished the most horrible, time-consuming part of it. I AM AWESOME! And it's done. That's the main part.

Bonus Track: I have decided to stop cross-posting to LJ. I always forget to answer comments there, and my flist is mirrored on DW entirely. Feels like the end of an era.

Comments

[oracne]

Good luck with the doctor appointment!

[lunabee34]

Thank you. They're closed on Fridays *sigh* because of course they are, but I'll make the appt on Monday.

[independence1776]

Oh dear. I hope your doctor can help!

[lunabee34]

Me too. It looks like Sjogren's is just like many other autoimmunes, just managing symptoms more than really being able to do anything about it, but IDK. We'll see.

[umadoshi]

I hope you can get some useful answers from the endo. *hugs*

[lunabee34]

Me too! Although now that I start doing more research, I'm wondering if she'll have to refer me to a rheumatologist for treatment; apparently Sjogren's is rheumatological? Assuming obviously that I have it.

[havocthecat]

So you...cannot catch a break with your health, can you? Keep me updated?

Bruce bored me a while ago. Selena didn't bore me when Bruce wasn't involved. Because CATWOMAN. But. I did stop watching a while ago, so.

So anyway, are you going to write poetry about other things instead?

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

I'll keep y'all updated. I'm just trying not to spiral down into a whiny, dark place. I mean, I'm not in pain. I'm mobile. I'm not fibromyalgia levels of tired. I feel like I'm whining to be so down about this shit, but I really am. *sigh*

I am totally going to write other things! I started a poem today about the explosion of the Challenger shuttle.

[executrix]

I'm really sorry to hear about new health problems! A lot of people get dry eyes in the winter--could you add a humidifier, which couldn't hurt and is an easy thing to try while you get the medical issues sorted out?

[lunabee34]

That's a great idea! I think we even have one from when Fiona was a baby.

[nyctanthes]

I'm sorry to hear about your health issues.

I love your MLP recaps. (And yay for the icon!)

[lunabee34]

Thank you. *hugs*

I love my new icon. Isabelle was so sweet to make it for me. :)

[monanotlisa]

Woot for saying goodbye to LJ! I imported my comments back when I closed it, and I haven't regretted it. Next up: Actually fully deleting my Facebook, versus just keeping it deactivated...

As for Sjogren's Syndrome, damn; I hope you're okay. I have all the symptoms, and like you I am using artificial tears like they're going out of style. The swallowing thing is also bothersome and weird enough to scare me, but at least that's not constant and causing pain (the dry eyes are extremely painful, but like you I had zero visible issues last year when they checked them).

[lunabee34]

I just become more and more glad I never even got a damn Facebook as the years go by. LOL

Oh, honey. *hugs*

I didn't realize you were going through this, too. I will 100% share everything I find out because it's looking like most autoimmune stuff that it's just managing symptoms rather than fixing anything. :( You know, I am so thirsty all the time, and I never made that connection, but I wonder if that's the Sjogren's too. IDK

[monanotlisa]

Yes! Super-thirsty.

Sent from my iPhone

[lunabee34]

Blergh.

[lunabee34]

See Lyr's eye drop rec below thread.

[sholio]

Oh shit, the health issues just won't give you a break. :( Hopefully something can be done; I'll be thinking good thoughts in your direction!

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

Thank you, sweetie. All good thoughts deeply appreciated.

[china_shop]

*huuuuuuugs*

And congratulations on your finishing work project! YOU ARE AWESOME!!!

[lunabee34]

*hugs hugs hugs*

I wish I was one of those people who felt the delicious relief and joy when thing is over; instead, because I've been so keyed up doing thing, I feel all down and depressed and sad when I finish the big thing. WHY IS MY BRAIN SO WEIRD?! LOL

Faculty Senate was gratifying today, though. Got some good feedback on project. :)

[china_shop]

Ugh, post-project let down! D: D: D:

I get that from writing, which is how I end up on this treadmill of flashfics.

*moar hugs*

[lunabee34]

But what an awesome ride! LOL

I wish I could channel my post project let down into something other than weepiness and eating too many chips.

[timespirt]

You should see an ophthalmologist instead hon. They can help you a few ways with dry eyes. "HUGS"

[lunabee34]

*nods*

I will if I don't have Sjogren's. If I do have it, I need to be monitored by a doc because it can cause liver problems and lead to cancer. Yay! Not. LOL

[lyr]

I don't have Sjogren's, but my grandmother does. That said, I do have corneal dystrophy, and I've had to investigate the best eyedrops for keeping my eyes hydrated. I can recommend Refresh Celluvisc. It helps that they're preservative-free, and the gel is the most hydrating I've found.

[lunabee34]

Oooh, thank you. I will put that on the trial list.

What is corneal dystrophy?

[lyr]

The layers of cells in the cornea are supposed to lay smoothly flush on top of each other, like an onion. In the type of corneal dystrophy I have, they crinkle up a bit, so they lay less and less smoothly over time. This distorts and gradually degrades vision, and in severe cases can get so bad the top layers of cornea can spontaneously fall off, which causes permanent blindness. The treatment is to keep them well hydrated and get the top layers peeled off to force them to regrow every 10 years or so. I had that done about 6 years ago now, and it's holding well. But I put in the good eyedrops every night, and some less serious ones at least in the morning when I wake up.

[lunabee34]

I'm glad you're able to manage it. *hugs*

I had to learn that the gel eyedrops are only before you go to bed. They make my vision so blurry. I think the ones I had may also have had a preservative in them because they burned my eyes.

[lyr]

Thanks, hon. *hug*

Yes, the burning does sound like the preservative is a problem. Those kind burn my eyes, too. They shouldn't hurt.