Tuesday is in process

[lunabee34]

1. Thank you all for your well wishes re: the med change. I am now completely off the Topamax and on the final dosage level of Depakote. I can tell it's going to be a tradeoff. I hurt a lot more on the Depakote, and my sleep is disordered; I think the Topamax was zonking me out at night (the time of day when I took it) and helping me sleep more soundly. Also having lots and lots of bizarre dreams. But this med being much less soporific is also a good thing; I am not as tired during the day. And while it's hard to tell from inside the experience because it's happening gradually, I think the brain fog is lifting. I think I feel more clear-headed. I am still in the adjustment period, so I have hope that my sleep will eventually even out. Now I just have to cross my fingers that my liver and kidneys aren't being affected when I get my blood drawn at the end of this month, and I'll be good to go.

2. Poor Fiona. She's at the very beginning of puberty, and it is hitting her so hard. She is very emotional and clingy. She wants to cuddle with me and lay all over me and plaster herself to me like a barnacle. It's very, very sweet, and she's driving me kind of bonkers. What a terrible problem to have, right? That my child wants to snuggle with me too much. LOL Mostly, it just hurts after awhile because I have skin sensitivity/pain; sometimes the seams of my clothes hurt me or the weight of one leg touching another. Oh, well. I shall survive this love fest. *g*

3. Update on curly hair journey: I am pretty satisfied with my routine at this moment. I continue to try new products, but I've figured out the basics that will work for me.

I have fine and thin hair, so a lot of the advice/tips for curly hair doesn't apply to my hair texture, and it took me a long time to figure that out. I was using all these creams and moisturizing ingredients and leave-in conditioners and not getting the results I wanted. Thin hair is really easily weighed down, so I have to be sure not to use a heavy conditioner. Right now, I'm using Innersense Pure Inspiration. (Note: it says it has fragrance notes of jasmine, but I despise jasmine and detect none; this has very little fragrance to me.) I use a heavy conditioner on the wash days where I don't care what my curls look like.

Fine/thin curly hair also needs to be washed a lot more frequently than is often recommended for curly hair because it gets weighed down by product. I especially have this problem because my curl clumps are smaller, and my curls become very stringy the longer I go without washing. Routinely clarifying is also really important for me; I don't do it too often because I color my hair and don't want to strip the color, but my curls look so fantastic after I clarify my hair. I use Sunday Shampoo by Bumble and Bumble or Olaplex 4C.

For heat protection, I use either Olaplex Volumizing Blow Dry Mist or Olaplex No.9.

For styling, so far the best product I've used has been Herbal Essences Curl Boosting Mousse--great hold, shine, and frizz control.

Finally, because my hair is thin, I really struggle with volume. I've used these two texturing sprays, and like them both with caveats. I think the Living Proof version is superior, but my refresh routine involves wetting my hair because my curls just don't hold up overnight even though I sleep in protective hairstyles. When I rewet my hair after using this one, it's a sticky mess, and my curls are super stringy. The Bumble and Bumble version holds up to rewetting without making my hair a mess.

Tell me about your hair routine and favorite products--any hair texture welcome.

Comments

[author_by_night]

*Hugs*

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

<3

[landofnowhere]

Coarse, thick wavy/curly hair, generally take a relatively minimalist approach to hair care (but I also have great hair if I may say so myself, had the person at the cash register compliment it just last week). Currently I'm using Trader Joe's Hair Wash, which is really great at encouraging curls, a couple times a week.

[landofnowhere]

(Also hmm maybe I should find an icon with art that better represents my hair type -- this icon is me at age 16, when I was still in denial about having naturally curly hair)

[spikedluv]

I'm glad you've noticed some positive effects from the med change.

Poor Fiona! (And poor you!) Hormone fluctuations suck.

Yay for having found a hair routine that works for you! I have thick, straight hair. (My hair is so straight that a stylist who cared to figure it out determined that I needed three bottles of perm solution to create a curl that took. Two to fully cover my hair and a third to add time to the processing. This was after they made the solutions that stopped working after 20 min as a safety precaution.) I do the bare minimum. I use Paul Mitchell shampoo and conditioner and wear it up in a scrunchie all the time because I wear a visor when I walk and it's just easier.

[lunabee34]

Minus the thickness, that's how my hair always was before menopause. Pin straight, wouldn't hold a curl. I could put curlers in my hair and sleep with them overnight, and they'd be gone within a few hours of taking the curlers out.

Josh uses a Paul Mitchell shampoo.

[oracne]

Here's hoping the new meds tradeoff improves...if it doesn't, at least you know. (Says me, allergic to statins.)

My hair routine: cut it off! It's straight, thick, and fine. I like it buzzed tightly back and sides, with a little length on top, so it's spiky. I wash it every day which I know is not the best for hair but it's so short there's nowhere to brush out oil and I feel icky if I don't wash it every day. Sometimes I put conditioner in to help with dryness. Occasionally I use gel or a thick beeswax cream for texture.

[lunabee34]

So far, so good! I remember you posting about your statin journey. :(

I love short hair. I have often had my hair short in a pixie; I am loath to go that short with the curly hair because it's so thin, and I think I might end up with scalp showing in weird ways. I washed my hair every day when it was short, too, and I don't think it hurts your hair much when it's that length.

[sheafrotherdon]

Here's hoping the meds switch evens out to give you relief on all fronts!

I'm reminded of when my nibling was a toddler, and she would want to pet my friend's cats, and she had no sense of her own body / strength. Frequently we would have to tell her, you love too hard! I remembered that as you talked about Fiona inadvertently hurting you!

My hair is fine, but there's plenty of it so long as I wear it short. Any length and it becomes lank and impossible to style - the weight and fine texture are a bad combo. So I have a pixie cut which I wash every two days, and I use a Monat styling spray to give it more heft. I use Monat styling taffy to tousle it, and Aveda Brilliant hairspray to hold it in place. If I don't use the latter two products I end up fluffy, like a dandelion clock. The taffy is matte, so I get style but not shine, which I appreciate, and it's not sticky once it's on. I can generally get away with spraying my hair with water or Pureology's color protection spray on day two and drying with a hair dryer and restyling. But then there are days when I put on a baseball cap and call it quits!

[lunabee34]

Thank you! So far, so good. I'm still having more pain than I want and my sleep is disordered, but I have hope that both those things will eventually even out.

Yes! Fi is like a kid loving on a kitty too hard. I'm a big floofy kitty! LOL

I love Aveda products. They smell so good, and the ones I've used before really work. I haven't used their curly hair stuff, but I used to use the Phomollient all the time when my hair was straight.

[executrix]

WRT hair: once I figured out what my hair wanted to do (be short and wavy, not long and in a chignon) I have been able to do just fine with minimal product--either plain Dr. Bronner's soap for shampoo and conditioner in a tube instead of a bottle, or a shampoo + conditioner bar.

WRT cuddling: get a full-body pillow, Fiona can snuggle up NEAR you but not ON you on the pillow. I bet the pillow will make you feel a little better if you snuggle up to it by yourself.

[lunabee34]

That is such an excellent suggestion with the pillow. Thank you!

I have never been able to put Dr. Bronners on my hair. It's so stripping and drying on my hair.

[amejisuto]

So glad you got your meds switched! I hope it evens out. Poor Fiona, I hope the cuddles are helping.

[lunabee34]

So far, so good! *crosses fingers*

Fi is such a sweet kid; she's just drowning in hormones. LOL

[princessofgeeks]

I am very boring! I just got a pixie again after several years of long straight hair.

It looks better if I blow it dry but that's about it.

I have been reading about your hair experiments with interest; I have only had curly hair when I permed it!

<3

[lunabee34]

I don't think pixie cuts are boring at all. I've frequently rocked one. I'm afraid to go that short with curly hair because mine is so fine/thin that I think I could end up with scalp showing weirdly. But I love love short hair on women.

[minoanmiss]

fans your brain to blow out the fog

[lunabee34]

Refreshing! <3 :)

[musesfool]

I have long (to the small of my back), thick, wavy-to-curly hair that only wants to be tangled even when it's wet and I am actively detangling it. Unfortunately, the past few years I have also had to use a dandruff shampoo because if I don't I get large flakes around my hairline (this started just before the pandemic, so I have not yet made it to a dermatologist, but it is in my future plans). I wash it twice a week because of that (I was only washing once a week and my hair was fine with that until the flakes), and I have tried a large variety of conditioners to manage it, and the ones that work best are Oyin Honey Hemp Conditioner and Shea Moisture Manuka Honey and Yogurt conditioner, though the heavy duty Pantene one will also work. When I remember, I oil it before washing with coconut oil, and sometimes after washing as well, once it's been detangled. I also use a lot of leave-in conditioner for the detangling process. I wash it at night and sleep with it wet and mostly wear it in a ponytail or up in a messy twist.

[lunabee34]

That's so long! I remember you posted a picture once of your hair from behind, and it was gorgeous.

I really hate that putting oil on your hair before you wash it is called pre-pooing. LOL

Do you think that maybe sleeping with wet hair could be contributing to the dandruff? I have read before that having a scalp that's wet for too long can lead to dandruff/itchiness.

[trobadora]

I have fine and thin hair, so a lot of the advice/tips for curly hair doesn't apply to my hair texture

Yeah, that's me too. There used to be a product that worked for my hair, but it was discontinued over ten years ago. Since then, I've tried any number of different things and haven't found any that worked better than just using this oil after washing.

[lunabee34]

Oh it's so awful when a good product is discontinued. So aggravating.

I do put Olaplex No. 7 oil on hair sometimes but never when I want it to look good. Lol Oil just weighs it down, but it does help the ends.

[sabethea]

Oh gosh, poor Fiona. My kid just seemed to… miss puberty, somehow. His voice dropped two octaves one summer, and this last year he’s got facial hair, but - yeah, all the emotional turbulence seems to have passed him by, bless him. At least Fiona is not having angry!fits, like one of my niblings did. One of the doors in my sister’s house will never quite recover… But I feel you with the pain thing. mouse was a very physical child, and while I didn’t want to discourage hand on hand combat type playing, I wasn’t always up to it…

My hair care is, “shit, I need to wash it, I need to shampoo for itchy scalps, and if I’m feeling not too exhausted I might use the raspberry conditioner because I like the smell” (I am back at smelling my son’s head after he has a shower because it genuinely smells nice: I swear I haven’t done that since he was a Baby!)

[lunabee34]

Oh no. Poor kiddo. They just have all these feelings they can't handle.

Raspberry is such a nice smell.

[sholio]

I'm glad the brain fog is improving and sorry to hear it's coming with other unwanted side effects! I hope the end result will be more energy and better braining for you. <3

My hair is extremely dry, fine, and also wavy, so my whole life has been a journey of endlessly trying to tame frizz without flattening my whole head. I'm happy to hear you found a routine that works!

[lunabee34]

Thank you! So far so good. I'm hoping over time the increased pain and disordered sleep will even out.

That's such a tough needle to thread and similar to mine, how to get hold + volume.

[havocthecat]

I've heard good things about Olaplex and Bumble & Bumble. What do you think of them?

Fucking frizz. If I overwash my hair, I get frizzed out, so I'm always trying to thread this needle between not washing my hair enough and washing it too much. It's so annoying.

Medication switches can be rough, but I'm so glad you're getting through yours!

[lunabee34]

Thank you! So far so good.

I have only used the products I've mentioned here from those two brands (plus the Olaplex No. 7 oil), but I love all of them. And none of these are heavily scented. I'm not as attuned to that as you are, but the oil is the only that has a discernible scent. Maybe the texturizing spray too but I finished the bottle.

[jackandahat]

Will keep fingers crossed the dreams settle down and you have good bloodwork!

[lunabee34]

Thank you thank you!! <3 <3

[umadoshi]

I hope the meds adjustment continues to head in the right direction!

And oof, poor Fiona. What a rough time of life.

*hugshugshugs*

[lunabee34]

So far so good! *crosses fingers*

INORITE? Puberty is the worst. I remember it being just awful. She's such a sweet kid, though. It made me an unbearable asshole LOL. It's making her want to snuggle with me more. I'll take it.

[timespirt]

"HUGS"

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

[corvidology]

I hope the medication change settles down and works better for you. ♥

We've had long chats about curly fine hair before.

The secret is to avoid product build-up. Sometimes it's just too much layering of product and/or applying more product every day even if you're not washing it.

Currently, I'm smitten with UNOVE Volume Up Curling Essence which is Korean hair care. I had it recommended to me and it appears to be a thick cream when it comes out of the container which was a bit alarming but it hasn't weighed my hair down at all.

[lunabee34]

Thank you. So far so good!

Yeah, avoiding product build-up is really important to me so it's not stringy. U just wish I had naturally bigger curl clumps.

[lyr]

1) Less brain fog and more energy sounds great. I hope it proves to keep working okay.

2) Firstly, aww! Secondly, OMG, how is Fi already this old?! What even is time?!

3) I also have very fine hair that weighs down easily, so I wash it every other day. I prefer this shampoo and the conditioner that goes with it: Avalon Organics Thickening Shampoo. It really volumizes my waves and leaves my hair feeling healthy. Once in a while, I will also rub a little argan oil in, especially at the ends, and leave it in an hour or so before I wash my hair.

[executrix]

"What even is time?"
A flat circle.

[kat_lair]

Very glad to hear that the med change is working out, hope things continue in that direction!

[lunabee34]

Thank you. I am crossing all the things!

[china_shop]

What a terrible problem to have, right? That my child wants to snuggle with me too much. LOL Mostly, it just hurts after awhile because I have skin sensitivity/pain; sometimes the seams of my clothes hurt me or the weight of one leg touching another. Oh, well. I shall survive this love fest. *g*

Very belated, but I hope the love fest is going okay! Poor Fiona. *gentle totally-non-pressure hugs to you both*

[lunabee34]

Awwww.

*hugs*

It's an ongoing issue, but she's a sweetie. I'm glad she loves me and wants to glomp onto me instead of the opposite.

[ariadne83]

OK, here we go, pro tip from a lifelong curly haired person who had afro-worthy hair by age 1:

SCALP. CARE.

Especially as someone with autoimmune disease, pay VERY close attention to the skin of you scalp and around your hairline.

[ariadne83]

If you get any itching or irritation AT ALL, get thee to a dermatologist immediately. Make sure you only add ONE product at a time. Pay attention to whether it has heavy oils in it.

Curls often go hand in hand with sensitive skin AND with follicle/skin defects that can make you more vulnerable to breakage, ingrown hairs, and inflammation/infection.

Auto immune disease, ESPECIALLY when it involves the thyroid, often involves variable oil levels, which can make your pores and follicles higher than likely to clog up & cause swelling/irritation/pain.

Hormone imbalances can make you more likely to have acidic sweat, which can burn your skin and/or cause it to thicken. Thick skin is more likely to clog

[ariadne83]

For actual hair advice: I have the same hair type as you, very fine light strands. Mine LOOKS thicker than it is because (due to tl;dr health things) I have 6 or more strands PER FOLLICLE so it's very fine and thin but there's a lot of it.

I brush mine VERY frequently because the super-fine texture means that it tangles extremely easily. It picks up lint from the environment, and a tangle can turn into a knot I have to cut out within just a couple of days. Mine needs A LOT of moisture because if it gets too dry it catches and tangles on its own strands and turns into a knot.

TBH the best thing for my hair is brushing my scalp to release the oils that often get stuck there, and then brushing my hair to spread the sebaceous oil from root to tip.

I use a citric acid wash on my hair and scalp to balance the pH of my skin, because water where I live is VERY heavy on minerals. I also use a pH balancing acne wash sometimes, to support normalised oil levels.

If I use hair product with oils in it, I go for the lightest "non-comedogenic" ones like grapeseed oil, hemp, sunflower etc. I avoid florals & essential oils unless I'm ABSOLUTELY sure it won't flare up the skin, and damage my hair as a secondary effect.

Styling wise I do very little at the moment beyond leave-in conditioner and/or a light curl creme. Moisturise, moisturise, moisturise to minimise dryness-induced tangles.

When my hair was longer, I found braiding it to be VERY effective at preventing tangles. But be cautious about tight hair styles, as fine hair is very vulnerable to breaking and falling out (traction alopecia)

[lunabee34]

*nods*

My hair isn't long enough to braid. I sleep with it in a loose pineapple. I got a bonnet, but I got a size too small so it's too smushy. I need to get one a size up.

Because of this medicine I'm taking, my hair is super fragile, so I can't brush it much; really just when it's wet and then very carefully.

I also use very light products. I really like the Olaplex hair oil.