Fannish Trajectories: Isolation, a Sense of Disconnection from Fandom, and How We Deal

Written for month_of_meta
Warnings: Very brief discussion of depression and anxiety


This essay is a personal narrative about my involvement in fandom. It is not intended to be a prescriptive look at fandom but rather a very personal and individually descriptive one. There are as many ways to experience fandom as there are fannish people, and I celebrate that diversity. I would never attempt to impose my experience of fandom on another fan or pretend to have the authority to dictate the multifaceted and varied beast that is Fandom. All I can do is share my own story.

That being said, I think that many fans tend to follow a handful of trajectories as their time in fandom increases, one of which is a growing sense of isolation and disconnection from fandom. I remember seeing posts describing feelings of alienation from fans who’d been around a long time when I was just a newbie and not having any idea what those fans were talking about. Now that I’m feeling a bit alienated and disconnected myself, I’ve been struggling with how to maintain ties and recover the sense of belonging I once felt.

In this essay, I discuss the factors that have contributed to my sense of disconnection, what I’ve done to try to make fandom a vital part of my life again, and the ways in which I’m still floundering. I hope this essay generates discussion; I am very interested in your fannish stories as well as staring at my own navel. If you feel disconnected from fandom, why? If not, what’s helped to maintain your sense of belonging? If you no longer feel as tied to fandom as you did in the beginning of your fannish journey, how have you chosen to deal with that change?

( Fannish Trajectories: Isolation, a Sense of Disconnection from Fandom, and How We Deal )