Stargate SGU crack ficlet
Oct. 3rd, 2009 12:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lunabee34"I do not look like Jonah Hill," Eli says.
Dr. Rush looks up from the console. "You rather do." He presses a button that causes a slight tremor in the lighting and the materialization of an artifact mere inches from Eli's left foot. "If you've finished exhausting pop culture references, we've got work to do."
"What?" Eli says under his breath. "Convince the crew you're not a meglomanic obsessed with the sucess of his own pet theories who cries into the night over the unfortunate deaths of beautiful women who were unlucky enough to both date him and disagree with him?"
"Pardon?" Dr. Rush says.
"I said, what's this?" Eli uncoils the artifact.
Dr. Rush scrutinizes the Ancient Object for long minutes that they can hardly afford to waste. "It appears to be a garden hose," he says, and proceeds to spray down the gunked up Anicent air mechanism. This doesn't work which surprises Eli; in his experience, if you just beat the air conditioning filter against the wall for awhile, it's totally good as new.
Lt. Scott shows up with Eli's camo and his wicked awesome hat (which he is totally gonna wear backwards, y'all), and Eli just can't decide how to proceed. He thinks, "Scott is hot, but he's into that chick he was fucking in the supply closet in the flashback. Clearly, fraternization is SOP for this mission. Greer probably murdered intergalactic babies and is therefore unacceptable as booty call material. Chloe and I just watched her dad die together which is not quite the same as watching Bruce Willis bite it for the same reasons in Armageddon. Face it, Wallace, Rush is your best bet, and that's if you can stomach the staring off rhapsodically into space and ordering you around while selfishly keeping all the good intel to himself trend he's got going here." Eli keeps step with Scott all the way to the Gate and catches Colonel Young's eye as he boards the ramp. "Or there's Young. He's got issues with Medic Johansen, but I think I can really show him how to get the feeling back in his toes."
Oh, yeah. This is shaping up to be one hell of an adventure. If Eli can just keep the crew from calling him an endearing version of Rodney McKay, he can be satisfied with his Destiny.
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no subject
Date: 2009-10-03 07:05 am (UTC)Yeah, I'm really seeing the attraction of this show. /sarcasm
Heh, actually you've piqued my interest more with this fic than the endless months of advertising. Poor Eli sounds like the only stable one in the bunch. Don't suppose you'll do another Eli-POV for the conclusion next week?
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Date: 2009-10-03 12:49 pm (UTC)I was very prepared to hate this show, but I actually ended up enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would. I'm very intrigued to see where they take the premise. But yes! It is also a very silly show. *g*
I may just do episode reviews in fic form from now on. You're inspired me. Fourth wall? What fourth wall?
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Date: 2009-10-03 11:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-03 12:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-03 04:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-04 02:03 pm (UTC):)
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Date: 2009-10-03 06:35 pm (UTC)Of course, having said that, and read this, now I suppose I'll have to. *g*
Nice work. the fourth wall is mostly just useful for leaning - just ask Shep
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Date: 2009-10-04 02:03 pm (UTC):)
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Date: 2009-10-04 04:12 pm (UTC)btw..my vote's Scott. *g*
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Date: 2009-10-05 01:21 am (UTC)(I'm torn between Chloe and Scott. Yay for internet that lets me write them both!)
I totally get that they're parceling out info, but I really want to know what Rush's Tragic Seeeeeekrit is. LOL (I think it's that he's a douchebag, but I'm waiting for confirmation.)
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Date: 2009-10-05 04:06 pm (UTC)<3
Anyhow. I also wanted to pimp my new comm here :
(figured every tv-show needs one of those...)
You wanna post this over there?
*hops off to create a nice layout for the comm*
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Date: 2009-10-05 04:47 pm (UTC)I was so upset when I realized there were no fic comms for SGU.
*runs on over to your comm*
:)
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Date: 2009-10-05 04:52 pm (UTC)You might want to also put something on the user info page about if there are any rules for posting like if you want subject lines and headers to be written a certain way or if you want the members to use tags. :)
I am so excited that you made this comm.
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Date: 2009-10-05 05:06 pm (UTC)I only just made the comm, so I'll tweak all that stuff as soon as I get to it (as soon as possible! ;-) )
I'm so happy you like the idea ^^
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Date: 2009-10-05 05:16 pm (UTC)Thank you so much!
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Date: 2009-10-05 06:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-06 12:31 am (UTC)I'm about to make a post welcoming all SGU fanfiction at
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Date: 2009-10-06 07:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-06 02:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-05 08:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-05 11:17 pm (UTC)*beams*
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Date: 2009-10-06 12:33 am (UTC)Also, congrats on being the first SGU fanfic author I've spotted so far. :)
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Date: 2009-10-06 02:52 pm (UTC)This is the very first time I've gotten in on the ground floor of a fandom. It feels very exciting.
:)
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Date: 2009-10-06 04:27 am (UTC)bravo!
ps: tell your Eli muse to wait until he sees Camille.
;)
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Date: 2009-10-06 04:49 pm (UTC)Thank you!
Oh, I love the interaction you had between them in your fic.
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Date: 2009-10-06 07:27 pm (UTC)you've very welcome.
oh, I wasn't referring to my fic - I meant the crack!Eli of your fic...I feel that such a meeting would've been, well, interesting.
have a nice day.
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Date: 2009-10-07 02:35 am (UTC)I didn't get a very good sense of Camille from this first ep and I'm always inherently suspicious of the IOA, so I'll be interested in what they do with her.
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Date: 2009-10-07 03:33 am (UTC)same here, but I see potential in her.
>always inherently suspicious of the IOA,
you just gave me a great idea for a discussion thread in sg_universe; thank you.
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Date: 2009-10-07 02:54 pm (UTC)Ideas FTW!
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Date: 2009-10-24 03:26 am (UTC)Lol! I love the fact that you even stated that because my friend and I have already gone over everything and have decided that Eli is totally the spawn of John/Rodney. It's stuck in my mind now and that's how I see it. Math genius like John? Check. Sarcastic remarks like Rodney? Check.
Btw, this made me grin like an idiot. Greer murdering intergalactic babies? I can see that!! But I totally love him anyway.
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Date: 2009-10-25 08:35 pm (UTC)I'm so glad you liked this. I am having so much fun with this show. Now that we've had a handful of episode, I feel like I can write *real* fic, you know? And so much angsty goodness to work with. So, I need to get on that. LOL
:)
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Date: 2009-11-03 08:33 pm (UTC)"I said, what's this?" Eli uncoils the artifact.
LMAO!!!!!!!!!
WRITE MORE CRACK!!!
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Date: 2009-11-06 01:35 pm (UTC)I shall do my best, sweetie.
:)
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Date: 2009-11-12 07:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-13 02:20 am (UTC)*guffaws*
It's just him and his kino.