lunabee34

1. For the past several weeks we have moved away from the core of this class which is the grammatical concepts that all native speakers of the English language should have internalized by now in their lives.

2. Unfortunately through no fault of your own many of you have latched onto lazy inefficient and incorrect patterns of communication.

3. There are several reasons which work together and today’s sentences will focus on them.

4. I’m joking of course we will actually discuss ways that you can pick out a super sweet Halloween costume on a college student’s budget.

5. While the cheapest costume is the traditional ghost in a white sheet I don’t believe that this costume is appropriate for a variety of reasons which I don’t have to explain to any of you.

6. Zombies are currently enjoying a resurrection (pun!) in popularity which stems from a variety of videogames and television shows such as The Walking Dead but in order for you to appear properly zombielike you would have to buy lots of expensive makeup.

7. I have multiple suggestions for ways to recreate the zombie look but I am legally restricted from encouraging dangerous behavior and in any case people have been sued for less ridiculous things.

8. Stephen King’s book Cell which he published after the final book in the Dark Tower series which was a huge disappointment to me and other fans centered on the idea that cell phones are turning people into murderous zombies.

9. This sentence returns us to the first two of this exercise although technology is really cool and efficient the ease that it bestows on its users makes them both dumber and lazier.

10. It also reminds me that King who claimed that he would stop publishing books after he released the last Dark Tower book is a big fat (rich) liar.

11. But I digress we were discussing cool Halloween costumes.

12. Dressing as a serial killer is easy and cheap because you can just wear your regular clothes after all there is nothing which physically distinguishes serial killers from the rest of us.

13. If you wanted to be a cannibal for Halloween you could purchase a smoked ham and walk around taking large bites of salty delicious pork.

14. This costume has the added bonus of serving as your dinner for the evening but it might attract the wrong kind of attention since most people don’t walk around gnawing on a ham.

15. My personal favorite costume of all time is a little controversial but since I’m confident in my masculinity I’m willing to share my secret with you.

16. I don’t know if you have noticed but I bear a striking resemblance to former Attorney General Janet Reno.

17. In fact the only things that are required to complete my transformation are a pair of glasses and a dark shade of lipstick.

18. My daughter who was dressed as Supergirl thought that my costume was hysterical because she is a big fan of her parents doing ridiculous things.

19. Emma is not judgmental about things because we expose her young mind to a variety of people and situations which has included the Gay Pride march in ATL where she laughed at the “soapy guys in bathing suits on the great big cruise ship.”

20. After this exercise you probably think that I am really weird and you’re right.