Lorraine Bares her Ass, so to Speak
May. 12th, 2006 11:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Warning: Yes, it's that time. Lorraine!Sharing time.
I've been thinking lately about the way fanfic has altered the way I think about RL. For instance, in the matter of butt-loving--prior to my immersion in fanfic, I'd had a wretched encounter with an idiot who thought Carmex has an off-label use as lube and another situation not of my choosing or under my control. Suffice it to say that I was extremely disinterested in anal sex. But then I started reading slash, and I thought, if Xander likes it more than even chocolate, there's gotta be something to this thing. And, by god, even though I don't have amagical orgasm button prostate, there is!! So here's an instance of fanfic challenging my perceptions and allowing me to have a positive experience I probably wouldn't have had otherwise.
But then I got to thinking. Surely the converse is true. Although it's never been myextreme good fortune experience to participate in a threesome, I"m sure they don't proceed as smoothly, non-jealously, and non-awkwardly as they do in fanfic. So I'm wondering: 1. have any of you had an experience like mine where fanfic opened up anvenues for you and changed your mind about something or 2. have any of you been disillusioned by fanfic, disappointed by fanfic portrayals vs. reality?
Also in a randomness, earlier this week, when I was sad, it rained--a great wall of water that fell to the earth and shattered. I wrote a letter and stood in the parking lot and let it fall into the wet at my feet. I expected the ink to run and become indecipherable and the paper to melt. Neither of these things happened. It was utterly lacking as a symbolic gesture.
I've been thinking lately about the way fanfic has altered the way I think about RL. For instance, in the matter of butt-loving--prior to my immersion in fanfic, I'd had a wretched encounter with an idiot who thought Carmex has an off-label use as lube and another situation not of my choosing or under my control. Suffice it to say that I was extremely disinterested in anal sex. But then I started reading slash, and I thought, if Xander likes it more than even chocolate, there's gotta be something to this thing. And, by god, even though I don't have a
But then I got to thinking. Surely the converse is true. Although it's never been my
Also in a randomness, earlier this week, when I was sad, it rained--a great wall of water that fell to the earth and shattered. I wrote a letter and stood in the parking lot and let it fall into the wet at my feet. I expected the ink to run and become indecipherable and the paper to melt. Neither of these things happened. It was utterly lacking as a symbolic gesture.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-13 05:05 am (UTC)I'm sorry your pathetic fallacy experience wasn't about sunshine and puppies though. I've had lots of experiences with ink running in more mundane contexts so I'm surprised yours didn't.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-14 01:29 am (UTC)I also sent you a package a couple days ago, so be on teh lookout.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-14 02:18 am (UTC)I bought a thing for Emma today that doesn't have instructions but I think is like Barbie's Kentucky Derby Dream Carousel or some damn thing--it's gonna be your problem to figure it out. I'm going to send some more clothes and books so it'll take me a couple of days to get organized.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-14 04:57 am (UTC)Oh this made me laugh.
Thanks so much, honey. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-05-13 05:20 am (UTC)As for disillusionment, I can only say that it isn't real life. It's odd you know, for me to read something angsty because it's gutteral and real. It makes you bleed. For me that's probably because I been there done that and don't need another t-shirt thankyouverymuch. I prefer the stories that give me a happy ending. Make 'em bleed, fine. Just be sure they're smiling at the end. I want hugs damnit!
That is what is so disillusioning about fanfic is that it's so romantic compared to how things really are. There's no theme music. There's no poetic gestures. Jokes are often lost on people. *shrug*
But then you keep on reading fanfic because it's a vice. It's a fantasy. It's a curiosity you just can't escape because damnit them boys are so hot together! *tilts head to get better visuals*
*gr*
On the subject of threesomes, I have only been there for about two-thirds of the act. Had to bow out before the final scene from fighting for stage time with my co-star... for lack of a better way to put it. Jealousy abound is all I can say.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-14 01:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-14 07:01 am (UTC)Though, I'll admit a lovely PWP theresome is nice once in awhile too. *gr*
no subject
Date: 2006-05-14 05:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-16 01:48 am (UTC)playing with the less idealized aspects of sexual relationships.
Yes. I really enjoy reading those kinds of fics--awkward sex, things not working out exactly as the characters intend, etc. There's this great fic by
no subject
Date: 2006-05-13 03:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-14 01:36 am (UTC)Sometimes, the emotional unrealism of fanfic works for me. Sometimes, I read it precisely because she can look into his eyes and know exactly what's going on and that fantasy is comforting. But as a measure of reality, it's far afield.
This Is My Dance Space, This is Your Dance Space
Date: 2006-05-14 02:23 am (UTC)I usually write "awww, what the hell, go ahead and try this at home, kids" sex scenes tho. I mean, when I was still writing Blakes7, assuming that I would have sex with Blake (a big "if") Avon seldom did anything I wouldn't do.
Re: This Is My Dance Space, This is Your Dance Space
Date: 2006-05-14 04:59 am (UTC)*nods*
And even if at times you're still clueless in RL, as we've discussed before, I still want sex scenes to work for characterization and some other purpose than the orgasm.
Re: This Is My Dance Space, This is Your Dance Space
Date: 2006-05-14 02:25 pm (UTC)Re: This Is My Dance Space, This is Your Dance Space
Date: 2006-05-14 04:38 pm (UTC)Re: This Is My Dance Space, This is Your Dance Space
Date: 2006-05-14 04:39 pm (UTC)Re: This Is My Dance Space, This is Your Dance Space
Date: 2006-05-14 04:43 pm (UTC)In any society, the less-powerful social group gets more training in figuring out the more-powerful than vice versa, so I think that even RL women who aren't Companion-like in most ways do have a lot of insight into male body language and can read between the lines of male speech.
ATG: "Any Two Guys"
Re: This Is My Dance Space, This is Your Dance Space
Date: 2006-05-14 04:49 pm (UTC)re: ATG. Ah, gotcha. I'm familiar with the phrase but had never seen it abbreviated. And yes, completely agreed.
Re: This Is My Dance Space, This is Your Dance Space
Date: 2006-05-14 04:59 pm (UTC)Re: This Is My Dance Space, This is Your Dance Space
Date: 2006-05-14 05:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-14 04:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-15 03:48 am (UTC)I think fanfic expanded my knowledge, most definitely. Before it, I thought anal sex was very much, well, disgusting. I also couldn't understand how anyone could get pleasure out of it. Fanfic got me past the ick factor into actually enjoying the process of reading it, and further delving into the topic actually enlightened me that, when done properly, both men and women can be stimulated to orgasm through anal sex. Which is interesting, because previously I didn't think women got anything out of it.
I prefer sex in fanfic to be how it would be in real life for me. Instinctual. Spur of the moment. I'm more of an instinctual person, so planned sex doesn't cut it for me. Also, in my humble opinion, threesomes only go smoothly when the three people involved have certain sexual orientations and genders. And then, there's always personal preference for the individual.
Whenever people have to vie for attention, it becomes a problem. For instance, two straight men and one straight female is usually smoother than one straight man and two straight females. One man isn't physically enough, but one female is. Once you get into the threesome with homosexual men territory, though, that's a whole new ball game yet again. It just all depends.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-16 01:51 am (UTC)Whenever people have to vie for attention, it becomes a problem. For instance, two straight men and one straight female is usually smoother than one straight man and two straight females. One man isn't physically enough, but one female is. Once you get into the threesome with homosexual men territory, though, that's a whole new ball game yet again. It just all depends.
This makes a lot of sense. If everybody in the equation is straight, somebody's gonna be sitting out at some point. *g*
It appears that a lot of people changed their minds about anal sex as a result of fanfic. I wonder if anyone's ever done a poll......
no subject
Date: 2006-05-16 10:51 pm (UTC)