lunabee34

Writing porn in my head while I'm having sex: a stereophonic opportunity that would not have occurred to me pre-fandom.

I'm sorry your pathetic fallacy experience wasn't about sunshine and puppies though. I've had lots of experiences with ink running in more mundane contexts so I'm surprised yours didn't.

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I was surprised too. Before when I've just been sweaty, I've lifted the ink off my schoolnotes and onto my forearms, so I never thought that the frickin bottom dropping out of the heavens wouldnt' do it. LOL

I also sent you a package a couple days ago, so be on teh lookout.

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EEEE! Package! Thank you!
I bought a thing for Emma today that doesn't have instructions but I think is like Barbie's Kentucky Derby Dream Carousel or some damn thing--it's gonna be your problem to figure it out. I'm going to send some more clothes and books so it'll take me a couple of days to get organized.

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I bought a thing for Emma today that doesn't have instructions but I think is like Barbie's Kentucky Derby Dream Carousel or some damn thing--it's gonna be your problem to figure it out.

Oh this made me laugh.

Thanks so much, honey. :)

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saifai.livejournal.com

I get what you're saying. Yes, fanfic has changed my perspective on many things, the most obvious of which is the matter of "butt-loving". *snerk* Didn't have an opinion on it one way or another prior to fanfic.

As for disillusionment, I can only say that it isn't real life. It's odd you know, for me to read something angsty because it's gutteral and real. It makes you bleed. For me that's probably because I been there done that and don't need another t-shirt thankyouverymuch. I prefer the stories that give me a happy ending. Make 'em bleed, fine. Just be sure they're smiling at the end. I want hugs damnit!

That is what is so disillusioning about fanfic is that it's so romantic compared to how things really are. There's no theme music. There's no poetic gestures. Jokes are often lost on people. *shrug*

But then you keep on reading fanfic because it's a vice. It's a fantasy. It's a curiosity you just can't escape because damnit them boys are so hot together! *tilts head to get better visuals*

*gr*

On the subject of threesomes, I have only been there for about two-thirds of the act. Had to bow out before the final scene from fighting for stage time with my co-star... for lack of a better way to put it. Jealousy abound is all I can say.

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Yeah, the whole threesome in fanfic phenomenon intrigues me. The only one I can think of that I've read that tries to deal with the dynamic realistically is

janedavitt and

wesleysgirl's Saturation and it's sequel Pervasion. It's a Giles/Xander/Spike trio, and it does portray the three of them as having to work at making that kind of relationship work. But most of the threesomes I've read don't deal with any of those issues, not that they should necessarily. Porn is it's own goodness. LOL I'd just like to read more where things go more realistically.

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saifai.livejournal.com

Realistic can even be done with hugs. *nods* Right? Saturation and Pervasion were good ones. Just the right amount of everything.

Though, I'll admit a lovely PWP theresome is nice once in awhile too. *gr*

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I've been playing in my head with the idea of a Xander/Anya/Xander (posited on Xander staying as two separate persons post-"The Replacement") and have really enjoyed playing with Xander's insecurities. I'm such a realism freak, and one of the Things that has really grabbed me recently is playing with the less idealized aspects of sexual relationships.

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That sounds like a fic I'd very much like to read.

playing with the less idealized aspects of sexual relationships.

Yes. I really enjoy reading those kinds of fics--awkward sex, things not working out exactly as the characters intend, etc. There's this great fic by

_beetle_, which has Xander and Jesse having sex and it's a little awkward and there's laughing, and it just felt so *real* to read.

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Fanfic has introduced me to a lot of sex ideas I hadn't thought of before, but it was simultaneous with encountering them from talking to friends, so I'm not sure I can point to any sex ideas I encountered *solely* through fanfic. Reading and writing fanfic involved more personal ponderment whether I personally would want to do something than just talking with sexually active friends did, admittedly. I'm very aware that sex-oriented fanfic, like traditional porn and romance novels, is heavily fictionalized and romanticized, and I would consult more authoritative sources for stuff like how much lube is necessary, how many times a guy can have sex in succession, etc. -- with the acknowledgement of course that mileages vary. And I do try to consult such sources in writing sex (and wish all writers did 'cause obviously realism is a huge thing for me). My unrealism complaint that might actually top sex activity mechanics is the whole "and she looked into his eyes and knew [how he felt, the depths of his soul, whatever]" sort of thing. It feels like taking such an easy way out on the part of the writer and pings me particularly because reading signals from people IRL is one of the things I'm so bad at. One more unrealism aspect to add to the mix: In porn (incl. fanfic), people jump each other at a moment's notice, and the more invested I am in the pairing the more willing I am to suspend disbelief about the parties getting together despite all the extenuating factors (though again, I try to make a pairing believable when I'm writing it).

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Fanfic has definitely upped my sex activity awareness. For instance, I have a huge tattoo/piercing kink that was lying dormant waiting to get out. LOL A good bit of the sex activities I've discovered through fanfic are things I *don't* want to do, but that's good to know as well.

Sometimes, the emotional unrealism of fanfic works for me. Sometimes, I read it precisely because she can look into his eyes and know exactly what's going on and that fantasy is comforting. But as a measure of reality, it's far afield.

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Despite several efforts, I cannot actually do ballroom dancing but I was once at a party where someone who was a good dancer said that a good lead communicates the direction of the dance because you can feel the tension in his forearms. Sort of like "Dirty Dancing"--I mean, I think that you should be able to get if not total insight into a sex partner, at least a pretty good idea.

I usually write "awww, what the hell, go ahead and try this at home, kids" sex scenes tho. I mean, when I was still writing Blakes7, assuming that I would have sex with Blake (a big "if") Avon seldom did anything I wouldn't do.

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I mean, I think that you should be able to get if not total insight into a sex partner, at least a pretty good idea.

*nods*

And even if at times you're still clueless in RL, as we've discussed before, I still want sex scenes to work for characterization and some other purpose than the orgasm.

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OK,it's not the ONLY reason why there are so many sex scenes in fanfics, but one reason is that properly done, they can provide so much insight into character. Which is why I hate ATG scenes so much--it's a completely wasted opportunity.

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"ATG"?

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Point taken. I'm actually thinking more about pre-sex scenes than sex scenes -- and unfortunately can't think of any specific examples to point to -- and more about using it as a shorthand to get the characters out of having to actually talk to each other, like it solves the pesky "Mal doesn't wanna talk about his feelings (for Inara)" problem if Inara can just look at him and know everything. And this is something of a bad example because Inara is Trained to be able to read people and see what they don't want to say, but I still feel like I've seen a number of fanfic instances in which it goes way beyond that, and also in which it is done with characters who aren't Trained like that.

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repling to hermionesviolin:
In any society, the less-powerful social group gets more training in figuring out the more-powerful than vice versa, so I think that even RL women who aren't Companion-like in most ways do have a lot of insight into male body language and can read between the lines of male speech.

ATG: "Any Two Guys"

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Again, a good point. However, one reason this issue particularly bothers me is precisely because I was never particularly good at reading social cues (either in encounters with males or with other females). So not only does the trope feel unrealistic to me but it also alienates me as a reader.

re: ATG. Ah, gotcha. I'm familiar with the phrase but had never seen it abbreviated. And yes, completely agreed.

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In some ways I find being a fiction writer counterproductive in dealing with people who actually exist, because I tend to come up with over-complicated backstory and explanations for RL conduct.

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Oh I do that wholly without the excuse of being a writer, just projecting my own overthinking onto other people.

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Yeah, I really enjoy getting to try stuff out on a fantasy basis (either literally in-my-head fantasy or vicariously through a specific fic) and figure out what I suspect I would like to try in meatspace and what I think I wouldn't.

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ranaeressea.livejournal.com

Here by

hermionesviolin.

I think fanfic expanded my knowledge, most definitely. Before it, I thought anal sex was very much, well, disgusting. I also couldn't understand how anyone could get pleasure out of it. Fanfic got me past the ick factor into actually enjoying the process of reading it, and further delving into the topic actually enlightened me that, when done properly, both men and women can be stimulated to orgasm through anal sex. Which is interesting, because previously I didn't think women got anything out of it.

I prefer sex in fanfic to be how it would be in real life for me. Instinctual. Spur of the moment. I'm more of an instinctual person, so planned sex doesn't cut it for me. Also, in my humble opinion, threesomes only go smoothly when the three people involved have certain sexual orientations and genders. And then, there's always personal preference for the individual.

Whenever people have to vie for attention, it becomes a problem. For instance, two straight men and one straight female is usually smoother than one straight man and two straight females. One man isn't physically enough, but one female is. Once you get into the threesome with homosexual men territory, though, that's a whole new ball game yet again. It just all depends.

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