I can't decide if this is tacky or not (the silver lining remix)

[lunabee34]

I am hoping to take this time of quarantine/social distancing to make changes in my life and reinforce changes I'd already made.

I have been outside more in the last week than I have since last summer. I am really enjoying reconnecting to nature. When Fiona and I go on our nature walks, I'm being really intentional about observing the world around us, and I think it's helping me to be calm and not so anxious.

I am feeling closer (but not too close yet LOL though I'm sure that's coming) to my family and enjoying the opportunity to talk to them all more.

I am reading and writing more.

I am enjoying the challenge of figuring out how to do things in our learning management system that I didn't know how to do before and that I will be able to carry over into my teaching in the future. I am enjoying helping Josh figure out how to get his classes online and being a contact for colleagues who haven't taught online before to help them make the transition.

I am enjoying keeping my house cleaner and neater than I usually do when we are all at work and school for such a long portion of the day.

I am also feeling physically better for being at home. My fatigue has been noticeably less in this week at home than when I'm working (although the pain I've been experiencing is about the same).

I feel really anxious right now, especially due to the ambiguous nature of this situation and not knowing when or how things will progress or change, and focusing on these positives is helping me to get through. I know that my ability to do so is a reflection of my privilege; my husband and I are not losing any income during this crisis, for example, and it's so much easier to be positive in our situation.

Comments

[misbegotten]

♥

I'm not losing a horrendous amount of income with the (possibly permanent, but who knows) furlough because I don't honestly work that many hours, but I find myself dismayed to be jobless. I didn't think my identity was wrapped up in my job, but it gave me a foothold in being a contributing member of society. And now that our sick, 'needing food and medicine several times a day' cat has died, even more of my reasons for staying at home are chipped away. So I'm unsettled. I'll figure out a new routine, but golly there have been a lot of blows to my psyche this week.

(Sorry, this probably should have gone in my journal. I'm really glad you're finding good things in these changes!)

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

I'm glad you posted this here. You're my friend, and I care about you, and I'm so sorry this has been a rough week.

I am 100% one of those people whose identity is tied to their jobs; I get that feeling hard.

And I am so sorry about your kitty. That is so rough. We lost our two several years ago now, and it still stings.

[lyr]

I'm glad you're finding some positives. I would like to be, but I am still too unsettled. I hope to get more writing done if I can quiet down, though.

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

One of the ways I manage my anxiety is to focus on gratitudes, so I'm relentlessly looking for positives. I'm not a Pollyanna about this, though.

[chelseagirl]

I'm envious of the nature walks. All of the large city parks are a subway ride away, and also I'm told everyone is going there, so makes social distancing tricky.

[lunabee34]

That's really rough. I would be making a very different post if I didn't live in a rural area that allows me to go outside and walk around every day.

[kore]

Yeah, the city parks here are FULL of people. Not quite jammed, but too many people for me to feel comfortable mingling with.

[wendelah1]

Our city parks and playgrounds are closed, but if they weren't, they'd be jammed as always. So are the state parks and the National Parks in California. We are allowed to walk around the neighborhood, including the local park's perimeter.

Oddly enough, municipal golf courses have remained open.

[lunabee34]

Maybe they figure if you golf alone, you're far enough away from anyone? IDK

[stonepicnicking_okapi]

It's wonderful that you can be positive. I'm not there yet at all.

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

One of the ways I manage my anxiety is to focus on gratitudes, so I'm relentlessly looking for positives. I'm not a Pollyanna about this, though.

[amejisuto]

I think it's human nature to look for the good in bad situations. If not we go bonkers. Or at least more bonkers than we usually are. So it's okay that you're finding some solace in your family togetherness. You're lucky to have that. Good for you!

[lunabee34]

*nods nods*

I tend to be the kind of person who is gloomy and negative and the glass is half empty if I don't force myself to look for positives and things to be grateful about.

[amejisuto]

It's hard to change that about yourself, so you're doing good. If you weren't a bit anxious I'd be worried about you.

[lunabee34]

*nods nods*

My husband is not going to handle this well. He's the kind of person that needs to leave the house a lot; he gets really antsy. I'm a little worried about how he's going to handle everything. Part of focusing on these positives is that I know we can't both be going aaaaaah at the same time. LOL

[kore]

LOLOLOL that is also my husband. He LOATHES being confined and told he can't go places (this made his hospital stays during cardiac events really fun!). He is taking the coronavirus threat very seriously, though. But I'm still worried about him going stir crazy.

[lunabee34]

T and Josh sound like two peas in a pod. Emma is out of a RX so he gets to go to CVS today; hurrah! LOL

We talked a little last night about what he can do, and I think he's going to try exercising and doing outside projects to try to help him. I know outside projects are not really an option for y'all, though.

[kore]

Yeah, his idea of heaven is taking LONG (like 3-4 hour) walks or hikes around the city taking photos. (Why he is married to me, I do not know. Hiking, ugh.) The downturn in his mental health is really obvious if he can't get in at least one good walk a day. He really loves urban cityscapes and he's a real outdoors person. (Outdoors: highly overrated. Too much sun, too many bugs, way too many chatty people.)

[lunabee34]

I used to be much less of an outdoors person, but I am coming around (or at least trying to make myself LOL). I genuinely feel better when I go outside and look at nature and feel the sunshine than when I don't, so I'm trying to take advantage of the spring before it turns a million degrees.

[amejisuto]

You can always send him out to hunt toilet paper down if he gets too squirrely. LOL. And yeah, it's good that you're taking turns freaking out.

[lunabee34]

He did have to go out today, and Wal-Mart had toilet paper! It felt like a victory.

[amejisuto]

I hope you have him a reward or something. Finding toilet paper these days is life finding gold in a stream!

[lunabee34]

Heeee.

He felt adequately compensated.

*winks*

[jackandahat]

There's nothing wrong with grabbing onto the positives! There's no sense in making things worse than they have to be, you know?

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

I'm trying. :)

[princessofgeeks]

I think it's great to be noticing ways to feel grateful and grounded.

I have a house with a yard and being able to get started on the yard work has been great for me.

I am so extremely worried about the laid off service workers who are suffering already. It's just so huge.

Also worried about my son who is an apprentice electrician. If his work dries up he will need our help to buy groceries! Am trying not to borrow trouble. Yet.

Getting outdoors is the main thing that's helping me.

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

Getting outdoors is really helpful for me, too. I hope we will maintain spring weather. If the summer heat starts early, it's going to be really hard to be outside except in the very early morning.

I am really worried about people losing their jobs, too. I really hope your son will be able to continue to work. That would make me really anxious. At least my kids are both here and minors and not out in the real world for me to be losing my mind over. LOL

[spikedluv]

Go you, for being positive! I was doing the same thing today! Mostly because my mom is freaking out about the new executive order going to effect here in NY on Sunday: no one over 70 can leave their homes except to get some SOLITARY exercise outside. She's a homebody, but a) being told she HAS to stay home makes her not want to, lol and b) it's such a horrible time because my b-i-l is sick and my mom would like to be able to help my sister, my nieces and nephew are out of school and mom usually babysits but can't now, and her BF's husband has newly-diagnosed cancer and she can't be helping her out. This situation is sucktastic for so many reasons.

My silver lining was that I could clean the house if I wasn't running around, and I might even get my Christmas decorations put away finally! (I've been so busy with my aunt's crap, but we're almost done with cleaning the apartment - we're finishing up this weekend out of necessity because mom's been helping me.) Also, I'll be home, so more walks! *g*

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

I'm glad you've been able to focus on positives, too.

I'm sorry for your mom, though. I know it sucks to want to be able to help your family and not be able to. I'm lucky in that my kids are still here at home where I can keep an eye on them. LOL I shudder to think how I'd be handling this if Emma was already out of the house and on her own somewhere.

MOAR WALKS! Me, too. I still haven't gotten mine in for the day yet. :)

[spikedluv]

I broke 9000 steps yesterday! Mostly due to one huge ass walk Pip made me go on. I was silently cursing him out a little bit, lol!

[lunabee34]

Heeeee.

[kore]

I've been really struck by the number of people I know who are saying that commuting less/not at all and not spending all day at the office is really cutting down on their fatigue. Some peoples' kids are also doing better out of school.

There was also an article in the NYT I think about how public schools are essentially being used as support for poor families (warmth, lunch, social programs) and daycare for working families, and that's really being exposed now that schools are being shut down. It makes me wonder if at the end of this, there will be more support for daycares attached to workplaces and Great Society type programs. I mean all of a sudden there's more support for things like the CDC! And it turns out that the FDA actually does things, it's a bad idea to "drain the swamp" by threatening to move all the employees to Kansas! There's no real way to BOOTSTRAP during a pandemic.

[lunabee34]

Oh, yeah. School provides so many services for a lot of families.

I was so happy that our school district is continuing to provide meals for kids who need them; you never know what's going to happen in a conservative state.

I hope this crisis has a number of positive outcomes from the mundane (better work from home tools) to super important (more affordable and better childcare).

[kore]

That WOULD be at least one good outcome. Higher salaries and more sick pay for nurses, health care workers and home care assistants, too. Here in WA the virus was apparently partly spread by health care workers who did multiple shifts at different nursing homes, because nobody would give them enough hours for full time work, and they were probably contracted workers so they wouldn't have had sick leave. :-/

[lunabee34]

OMG yes. Those people are not paid enough at all. It's terrible.

Nor are the people who come and do elder care in the home.

I hope those people see good outcomes from this crisis.

[sholio]

I'm in a similar position - Orion and I are not suffering negative effects to our income, and we're mainly just getting more at-home time to spend on the activities we enjoy. (Aside from the obvious anxiety issues.)

But I am trying not to feel guilty about our lives being better than most right now, because it means that we're in a good position both financially and emotionally to help people who need it, and also to better weather whatever blows we and our families are dealt over the next few months (health, financial, etc). I think in general, as long as none of us use it as an excuse to sever our responsibilities as members of a society, that having a cushion of people who are doing well is a very necessary thing - it wouldn't improve things at all if we were ALL poor, and having some of us who are doing pretty well is going to help with getting things back to normal afterwards, and helping our families and communities in the meantime.

And personally, I would really like to come out of this with some healthy, useful habits and good memories, if I can. There's nothing wrong with making your life and your family's lives better as long as you're not stepping on other people to do it.

[lunabee34]

This is such a thoughtful and kind comment. Thank you for making it.

I have been feeling guilty that my family is going to weather this a lot better than many other people, and your thoughts here are my thoughts on that subject.

I am such a doom and gloom kind of person. I catastrophize. I immediately assume the worst. The one thing I have found that helps me not to be that way is focus on gratitudes. I am really anxious, but looking for positives is helping me stay sane.

Hey, when Josh had to go out today to get Emma's RX, Wal-Mart had toilet paper again! Hurrah!

*hugs and hugs*

[timespirt]

"HUGS"

[lunabee34]

*clings*

[china_shop]

♥

[lunabee34]

<3

[duskpeterson]

Definitely not tacky. My life hasn't changed much (I work from home and don't get out much), but man, has the rest of the world made life easier for me. I used to have to *beg* for organizations to let me communicate with them online. (I have a condition that makes it hard for me to understand people on the phone, and at certain times of the year it's hard for me to travel.) Now organizations are throwing forth online solutions, left and right.

[lunabee34]

I'm so glad you're getting those solutions now and I really hope they persist; I think the creation and persistence of these kinds of measures that really help people will be one of the positives of this crisis.

*hugs*