day 3 of august

[lunabee34]

1. Emma does not think the MRI sounds like music, nor did she feel the urge to fall asleep as I did. LOL

2. Have a couple recs:

Hello Operator, Please Give Me Number Nine by Starlingthefool
Calvin and Hobbes
Susie-centric
Susie meets death.

Letter to my WIP by china_shop
Poem

3. A colleague gave us a mess of figs from their tree, so I juiced a lemon, stirred in some brown sugar, spooned that over some bone-in chicken breasts I had put on a baking sheet, cut the figs in half, put them in the remaining juice/sugar mixture and spooned that over the chicken, baked it, and served over rice. It was so good.

4. I think I'm going to spend today as a last day loafing about before the frantic scramble to finish getting classes ready for next week. I am finding it very hard to be motivated to do things. I mean, I am glad for my epiphany that work does not define me and that there's more to life than work. But I am slowly sliding down the slippery slope to spending most days endlessly scrolling through FFA and playing Wordscapes for hours, you know? LOL What's the healthy boundary between I am more than my job and I've done nothing but lay on the couch and obsessively refresh PenAddict for a new article today?

5. Last week I had a flareup of my autoimmune whatever it is that was pretty wretched. It's still lingering in tendrils. Boo and hiss. I absolutely hate that autoimmune stuff is exacerbated by stress. I have legitimately stressful things happening right now. I am doing all the responsible things. I am medicated. I am doing yoga. I am journaling my gratitudes and prayers; I am focusing outward on asking the universe for good things for others. I am trying to eat right and have good sleep hygiene, etc, etc, etc. At a certain point, when shit is stressful, stress happens, you know. Stop betraying me, body, or I'll quit making you glorious caramelized fig deliciousness. LOL

Comments

[havocthecat]

1. MRIs are shit because you have time to sit there and think of everything that could be going wrong with your body. Boo. Hiss. And also when you need one in an area that is affected by breathing and you do deep breathing to control your stress and you ruin 20 minutes of an MRI because they don't tell you not to breathe deeply? I'm not talking about a personal experience, nope, nope, OH WAIT I AM.

3. I love figs, but you can't get them fresh off the tree here, so I buy fresh figs from the store and fry them up in olive oil here, drop a bunch of ricotta and honey and cinnamon on them, and whatever nut I have around, and eat them for a meal, and they're so tasty. Or I bake with dried figs. But that sounds amazing too!

5. Do people journal their gratitude? I journal my way through all the toxic things, and just put on paper all the bad stuff so I can figure out in absolute excruciating depth how I feel the way I do about it and work out why things make me have those reactions. Or I talk my way through them with friends.

[lunabee34]

Oh no. Why didn't they tell you to start with? That's on them. Boo.

That fig dish with honey sounds so good. I bet you could do goat cheese too. Now I need to get more figs. LOL

I do gratitude journaling. I tend to focus only on the bad things, so it is really helpful for me to intentionally notice the way things are good alongside the bad and the way that things I initially thought were bad may work to my advantage (not always possible; sometimes shit is just bad). Part of that is also my prayers for others; I'm agnostic, but I ask the universe to help the people I care about. I'm very selfish and it's helpful to me to focus outward as much as possible or I just get caught in intense self-absorption.

[china_shop]

I tend to focus only on the bad things, so it is really helpful for me to intentionally notice the way things are good alongside the bad

This reminds me that one Christmas (probably 25 years ago now, lol) I gave my family and some of my friends letters of appreciation, and it was really good and happy-making to focus on all the things about people that I liked and valued, instead of getting stuck on the petty annoyances. :-)

[lunabee34]

What a lovely gift. I would treasure receiving something like that.

I have written letters like that over the years to various people.

It truly is helpful to me to focus outward rather than inward. I am a deeply selfish person. I know that about myself. I think about myself the most. The most important thing in my life is me. I love me the most! I get caught up in me. I have to drag my attention kicking and screaming outward. This has been my most difficult challenge as a parent because parenting requires that the focus shift to the child. My prayer journal helps me to stop thinking about my mental health and physical health issues and remember that I have friends who also have lives and maybe it would be nice if I called them perhaps. LOL

[china_shop]

I am a deeply selfish person. I know that about myself. I think about myself the most. The most important thing in my life is me. I love me the most! I get caught up in me.

I relate to this so much. *hugs*

and remember that I have friends who also have lives and maybe it would be nice if I called them perhaps. LOL

Hee! *tries to take this on board, too* ;-)

[lunabee34]

<3

Self-awareness is a good thing. LOL