lunabee34: (spn: metallicar by trustygeek)
[personal profile] lunabee34
This is a series of six drabbles from the perspectives of Ellen, Jo, Bobby, John, Dean and Sam. The fic was inspired by Tim O'Brien's novel of the same name.

The Things They Carried


1 Ellen

Ellen has a scar on her belly, twenty years old and from before doctors made the tiny incisions they do now, before they secreted them away in the dark of a mother’s pubic hair. The scar runs up her middle like a zipper, a toothed line dividing her life into Before and After. Sometimes when Jo stares her down with eyes so like Bill’s, when she worries that damn knife like a rosary, Ellen rests her hand over the scar, needing that tangible reminder that her daughter is fashioned of the same blood and bone and gut that she is.

2 Jo

The knife is hers and not because he’s dead, but because he gave it to her. They sat on the porch and he showed her the right way to sharpen it, dragging it over the whetstone again and again until she could shave the fine hairs from her arm with its edge. Mom watched from the window, mouth drawn down, and later Jo would hear them fighting about the hunt and Dad’s need to draw her in. “You don’t understand, Ellen,” he said. “It’s not about teaching her to hunt; it’s about giving her something to hold when I’m gone.”

3 Bobby

Bobby keeps a bullet in the corner of his wallet. A doctor dug it out of him in the early eighties, just when Bobby was starting to hunt. He’d gone to Merle’s to gas up his Jeep and fill some cans for the lawn mower and the bush hog. He wasn’t packing and a pimple-faced druggie shot Merle dead and Bobby in the shoulder before yanking the till. Bobby’s seen real evil, the kind that smells of sulfur and comes backlit with hellfire, but the bullet reminds him that the most fucked up thing he’ll ever face is another person.

4 John

John holds the edge of the package while Dean tears the paper away. This is Dean’s last Christmas before he’s a Big Brother and they may have gone overboard with the holiday cheer, but John really doesn’t care. “Let’s see what Mommy gave me, little man,” he says. Inside is a brown journal, smelling of leather and the sharp bite of untouched paper.

“I thought maybe you could write down your war stories for Dean and the baby. A legacy for when they’re older,” Mary says.

Later, when John begins to write, he records a very different sort of war.

5 Dean

Like the Impala and most of Dean’s weapons, the jacket was first his dad’s. He remembers Dad wearing it, the collar turned up like he was too cool to live. He saw the way women watched his dad when he wore it, even if Dad never seemed to notice—the way they’d touch their hair and run their thumbs along the edges of their lipstick, the way they’d lean into him with their hips and with their breasts. When Dad first gave it to him, the jacket was too big, but Dean’s grown since, into its shape and its promise.

6 Sam

All Sam’s possessions are brand spanking new—underwear, hair brush, books. He has nothing that belonged to Jess, nothing that belonged to his four years at Stanford. He no longer even has those few things he saved of his family— photos of him with Dean, Dad’s postcards. He has the clothes he escaped with and that’s all. So once they’re on the road, he’s shocked to find bits of himself everywhere—his old sunglasses wedged in the glove box, his shotgun in the trunk, a note in Dean’s wallet that reads, Back from the library in twenty. Don’t wait up.

Date: 2007-03-31 08:06 pm (UTC)
embroiderama: (Ellen - scary)
From: [personal profile] embroiderama
I really like these little glimpses into the things that matter most to each of the characters. I keep trying to figure out which one is my favorite, but I can't decide. :)

Date: 2007-04-01 04:16 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. I had a lot of fun deciding what would typify each character. Glad you enjoyed. :)

Date: 2007-03-31 08:26 pm (UTC)
tabaqui: (s&dcloserbyliterati)
From: [personal profile] tabaqui
Ah, nice nice nice. I like Ellen's the best, and Dean and Sam's, too...but yeah, Ellen.

Good stuff!

Date: 2007-04-01 04:20 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (mom by paigegail)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thanks, Tabi!!!! I like Ellen's the best, too.

*twirls you*

Date: 2007-03-31 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erinrua.livejournal.com
Very nicely done. Each piece seems just so true to each character, and I really can't pick a favorite. Though I love that Bobby unknowingly echoes Dean's assertion that demons he gets, it's humans who are baffling. And the last one with Sam is just ... awww. :-) Thanks for these!

Date: 2007-04-01 04:24 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: back in black by no_other_choice)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for reading! I'm really glad you enjoyed.

Bobby seems so grounded to me, the commensensical one, and I wanted his to reflect that value. I'm glad this worked for you. :)

Date: 2007-03-31 11:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hebrew-hernia.livejournal.com
This is fantastic. John's hit me in the gut and it's just perfect but Sam's-- I mean, just holy fucking fuck. Amazingly done. And I think it's appropriate, too-- it's a war, but a different kind. This is just brilliant.

Date: 2007-04-01 04:25 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: winchester trio by carmendove)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! *blushes*

I had a lot of fun with Sam's. When I started thinking about what he might be carrying that means something to him I realized that everything he owned was destroyed. So I thought of him at first in terms of lack. Then I realized how gut-punchy interesting would it be if Dean had all this stuff laying around that Sam left behind when he hightailed it to Stanford.

Thank you again.

Date: 2007-04-01 12:18 am (UTC)
lyr: (Dean wink: dev_earl)
From: [personal profile] lyr
Lovely work! Very tangible, very vivid, very real. The detail-work is excellent. I really love the way you grounded character insight into physical things!

Date: 2007-04-01 04:26 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: dean by robanybody)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you, my dear heart. You know your praise is highly, highly valued. :)

*smooch*

Date: 2007-04-01 01:42 am (UTC)
ext_16464: (Orli10)
From: [identity profile] dairwendan.livejournal.com
I really love this! I thought I liked Bobby's the best until I read Sam's but they're ALL very good! Poetic.
Thanks!

Date: 2007-04-01 04:26 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: winchester trio by carmendove)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you very much. I'm so glad you enjoyed this piece. I had a lot of fun writing it.

*big grin*

Date: 2007-04-01 04:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emella.livejournal.com
First of all, I LOVE it that you used the Tim O'Brien novel. I'VE READ THAT YES I HAVE! (although I can't really remember it.) I love the John part to this - it's my favorite. The journal is the PERFECT item to carry, I never would have thought of it(maybe I'm a little slow LOL) and your backstory of it and Mary and the whole war stories thing is amazing. I'm in love with you for this.

I ♥ you.

Date: 2007-04-01 04:59 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: john hunter by dev_earl)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Darling, have I told you lately how much I love you?!

*squishes you to death*

You are such a sweetheart and making me blush and *hugs you again for good measure*

Isn't that novel so amazing? I absolutely adore it.
(deleted comment)

Date: 2007-04-01 05:53 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: john hunter by dev_earl)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. :) I'm so glad this piece worked for you.

I had a lot of fun imagining where John got his journal.

Date: 2007-04-01 05:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] subtly-modded.livejournal.com
really enjoyed these. i love getting little glimpses into characters and tehse not only all work, they're all subtle in a way that really makes them great.

Date: 2007-04-01 05:55 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: winchester logo by shannon730)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. :)

I really appreciate the thoughtful feedback.

*big grin*

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Date: 2007-04-01 07:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mijmeraar.livejournal.com
First of all let's just say that 'The Things They Carried' is easily in my Top Three books. I love, love that book more than I can say. while true to the ideas of the book, this is also beautiful in its own way. Each one was great, but I especially liked Ellen, John, Dean and Sam.

Also:

that her daughter is fashioned of the same blood and bone and gut that she is.

and

but Dean’s grown since, into its shape and its promise.

are wonderful, wonderful lines. That Dean is like his father but is not actually his father, that he is his own man, can also live according to himself. Guh. Lovely. Great work thanks for sharing.

Date: 2007-04-01 04:32 pm (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: dean eyball by kathrinchin)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Oh, wow. Thank you so much. I really love The Things They Carried as well and it means a lot to me that you think I was true to the spirit of the book.

Ellen's is probably my favorite; as a mom myself, I know how painful it is to watch your child become someone separate and whole onto herself when once she was such an indivisible part of you.

And I'm really pleased that you picked up on that detail about Dean from the drabble. I think that John has shaped Dean, but like you say, he's ultimately his own man.

Thanks for such lovely feedback.

Date: 2007-04-01 09:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hyding.livejournal.com
This is beautiful and poetic. What each segment brings is not just a snippet of who the characters are, but what made them that way.
I particularly liked the one of Bobby for its underlying theme, which has been written into a couple of fictions. I also liked John's part, which after I read it there's no words but "oh John..."
As for Sam, it was as much about Dean as it was for Sam. And the note in italics? Tear jerk perfection.

Date: 2007-04-01 04:33 pm (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: sam by sinfulintention)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I had a lot of fun writing these and I'm really glad they worked for you. :)

As for Sam, it was as much about Dean as it was for Sam.

*nods* Absolutely. It's always hard for me to separate the two of them when I write. LOL

Thanks again. :)

Date: 2007-04-02 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wingstar.livejournal.com
Oh, I love that book. And this fic is beautiful - I like Sam's section best, I think. Also John's and Bobby's.

Date: 2007-04-02 05:47 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: dean eyball by kathrinchin)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. I'm so glad this piece worked for you.

*big grin*

Date: 2007-04-03 12:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] iamstealthyone.livejournal.com
These are all wonderfully written, saying so much in such a short amount of space, but being a mom, I love Ellen’s most of all. :)

Favorite lines:

The scar runs up her middle like a zipper, a toothed line dividing her life into Before and After.

Great description!

Sometimes when Jo stares her down with eyes so like Bill’s, when she worries that damn knife like a rosary, Ellen rests her hand over the scar, needing that tangible reminder that her daughter is fashioned of the same blood and bone and gut that she is.

Love, love, love this.

“You don’t understand, Ellen,” he said. “It’s not about teaching her to hunt; it’s about giving her something to hold when I’m gone.”

Ooh, that’s good.

“I thought maybe you could write down your war stories for Dean and the baby. A legacy for when they’re older,” Mary says.

Later, when John begins to write, he records a very different sort of war.


This just hurts.

I really like the idea that the journal was originally from Mary.

So once they’re on the road, he’s shocked to find bits of himself everywhere—his old sunglasses wedged in the glove box, his shotgun in the trunk, a note in Dean’s wallet that reads, Back from the library in twenty. Don’t wait up.

It’s so appropriate that pieces of Sam would be in the car, and that Dean would keep that note.

Date: 2007-04-03 12:23 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: john hunter by dev_earl)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you for such thoughtful, detailed feedback. It takes time to leave commentary like this and it really means a lot when a reader goes to such lengths to tell you what s/he enjoyed most.

I'm a mom, too, and Ellen's is also my favorite. :)

I really like the notion of defining Sam by lack and then having him realize that whatever is absent, Dean is taking up the slack.

So glad you enjoyed this. :)

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Date: 2007-04-03 04:50 am (UTC)
ext_11786: (Sam & Dean in black and white)
From: [identity profile] dotfic.livejournal.com
These are amazing, a bit achey, sharp, but also warm as well.

Favorite bits from each:
Ellen's -- needing that tangible reminder that her daughter is fashioned of the same blood and bone and gut that she is.

Jo's--“It’s not about teaching her to hunt; it’s about giving her something to hold when I’m gone.”

Bobby's--the bullet reminds him that the most fucked up thing he’ll ever face is another person.

John--Later, when John begins to write, he records a very different sort of war. (*flails a bit*)

Dean's--Dean’s grown since, into its shape and its promise. (I really love the turn of phrase there and I think it was John's jacket too)

Sam--he’s shocked to find bits of himself everywhere (That's so poignant, how Dean has kept little traces of Sam around. Oh, boys.)

Date: 2007-04-03 02:30 pm (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: metallicar tri-view by emella)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for leaving such wonderful, detailed feedback. You've definitely started my day off with a big, big smile.

I really like the idea that Dean's jacket used to be his dad's. The first time I watched "Something Wicked" I thought that the jacket John's wearing in the flashback *was* Dean's jacket, but alas, I have rewatched many, many times and it is not. John does, however, have the collar turned up like Dean does with his jacket, so I think it's safe to say that Dean's imitating John with that.

Thanks again.

:)

Date: 2007-04-03 02:45 pm (UTC)
ext_1310: (don't look back)
From: [identity profile] musesfool.livejournal.com
this is wonderful. First of all, named after one of my favorite books ever, but each section is a nice insight into each character. The last is my favorite though, because yes, Sam has nothing left, he thinks, but then he learns that Dean's had pieces of him all along.

Date: 2007-04-03 02:47 pm (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: sam and dean b/w bunny_icons)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. :) I love that book as well, and I'm enjoying finding out that it's so widely adored.

The last is my favorite though, because yes, Sam has nothing left, he thinks, but then he learns that Dean's had pieces of him all along.

*big grin*

Thanks again.

Date: 2007-04-03 08:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zooey-glass04.livejournal.com
Oh wow, I love all of these. Sam's is an awesome, beautiful summation of everything he and Dean are. And Bobby's! I LOVE Bobby's! He is such a fabulous character and I think you've really captured him there.

And the last Christmas before Dean's a big brother is a GREAT concept! *loves*

Fabulous fic, thank you! :D

Date: 2007-04-04 12:15 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: sam by sinfulintention)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Sam's is an awesome, beautiful summation of everything he and Dean are.

Thank you so much. *blushes* That's pretty much all I could want for anyone to say about that piece.

*twirls you around*

You've made my day.

:)

Date: 2007-04-08 11:51 pm (UTC)
ext_1770: @ _jems_ (fandom: spn life's not a paragraph)
From: [identity profile] oxoniensis.livejournal.com
This is lovely - you've managed to fit so much about each character into such a small space.

Date: 2007-04-09 12:41 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: jdm by unfamiliargirl)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

:)

Date: 2007-04-28 02:31 am (UTC)

Date: 2007-04-28 10:07 pm (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: sam gun by spuzz)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much.

:)

Date: 2007-08-20 01:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maharetr.livejournal.com
I'm here from the [livejournal.com profile] spnroundtable recs. All of these are gorgeous, and spot on from all of them: Ellen worrying for Jo, Jo's bond with Bill, Bobby and his practicality and humanity (because I can abruptly and vividly see him being shattered inside when he couldn't save Merle), John and Mary making Dean's last 'only child Christmas' *sniffle*, Dean and his hero-worship of John...

but, oh, God. Sam's made me choke up in a totally unexpected way: there are hundreds of Sam-leaves-for-Standford stories, you know? and even though this drabble was about the comfort and surprise Sam feels finding his old things, the image of Dean grieving, quietly hoarding Sam's things after Sam is gone, probably trying to keep it secret from John, tucking that note into his wallet and keeping it for four years... oh, man that cuts deep. Just gorgeous.

Date: 2007-08-20 03:33 pm (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: sam and dean b/w bunny_icons)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so so much for the wonderful feedback. There's nothing quite so nice as getting comments on a story that's been out there for awhile. I'm so glad Sam's drabble resonated with you; that one was one of my favorites to write and I'm pleased that it touched you.

Thanks again.

:)

Date: 2008-01-24 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] julorean.livejournal.com
I love all of these, but especially the last 3, and John's most of all. It's brilliant that the journal is something Mary gave him. I will now consider it part of my personal canon.

Date: 2008-01-24 04:37 pm (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: colt by trustygeek)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much. :) I kinda got Jossed on the diary by the SPN comics, but *shrugs*

I'm so glad you liked this. Thanks for letting me know.

Date: 2010-01-27 02:18 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
http://www.diary.ru/~multi-gen/p93930527.htm

Date: 2010-05-24 03:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] soundingsea.livejournal.com
*sniffles*
Here via Remix. Loved this, particularly Ellen & Jo.

Date: 2010-05-24 03:19 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: jo by racheldinozzo)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much.

I have mad love for both those characters, so I'm really pleased those drabbles resonated with you. :)

Date: 2010-06-04 01:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] that-september.livejournal.com
Oh, oh, oh.

I love The Things They Carried more than words can say, and you did a wonderful job of capturing it in Supernatural.

This was really lovely.

Date: 2010-06-05 12:31 am (UTC)
ext_2351: (spn: ava by obaona)
From: [identity profile] lunabee34.livejournal.com
Thank you so much.

What lovely, lovely feedback.

*glee*

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