in continuing news about my brain

[lunabee34]

1. Insurance approved three of the four MRIs (brain, cervical spine, thoracic spine) and rejected the lumbar spine. I'm having the three on Saturday night at 6:45. I meet with the neurologist on Tuesday and at that point he will decide if the lumbar one is necessary. He should have the results of all the tests at that point, so on Tuesday, I should know *something*.

2. Earlier this week, I had a cognitive test (not connected to the cap o'goo, thankfully). I think I did really well on it except for the part where I was asked to memorize a screen of pictures and then identify them later. Also, the part with ever-increasingly quick math problems. *shudders*

3. So, when my MRIs were canceled last week, I made a retail therapy purchase from JetPens that arrived a couple days ago. Forthcoming review post. *pets all my new pens*

4. This journal has been pretty much unremittingly about my brain lately LOL, so let's inject something fannish. Tell me about your latest fannish interest, accomplishment, WTF moment, whatever. *chin hands*

Comments

[likeadeuce]

I'm glad you are able to get at least most of the testing done, and I hope you get some answers.

I am in the process of writing a very long (for me; it's pushing 20000 words and not close to done) Raven Cycle fic, and the notable thing about it is that I've been on it for like a month and have been ignoring the voices that say 'this is too long for what it is, it's pointless, it's not the right genre, nobody wants this people want flower shop AUs or else they want stories with plots, this isn't even the story i most want to write i should switch to something else' and pushing forward.

So it doesn't feel like a real accomplishment but in the past i've been down on myself for not sticking with anything so i will hopefully keep sticking with it and see if it's worthwhile in the end

[lunabee34]

Thank you so much. I just hope he's able to find something. I definitely don't *want* something to be wrong with me, but by the same token, I'm really tired of not having any answers.

I'm glad you've been ignoring those voices and pushing on! That's really awesome. There is value in persistence!

[likeadeuce]

Oh for sure, I hope you get both a diagnosis and a workable treatment <3

Re: writing, it's funny how much just pushing away the negative self talk and need for constant validation is helping. When I give in to 'but this isn't the best thing i could be working on' i just end up abandoning it in favor of nothing. But words are words and I'm learning something from writing + i'm enjoying myself.

[lunabee34]

Thank you!

That's such an important observation. Negative self talk is so damaging; I'm glad you're pushing it away (and getting positive reinforcement for doing so since you're enjoying yourself).