lunabee34: (writer by sukibluefiction)
NOTE: If you are looking for something specific, the dreamwidth version of my journal is a better bet than the livejournal version. I have cleaned up html errors from early days and extensively rehauled tags for better searching on the dreamwidth version only.

FANFIC MASTERLIST: These are listed in order of their post dates within each fandom. All fic has also been posted to AO3.

An asterisk (*) indicates that the fic has been remixed.











SG1 )



STAR TREK 2009 )







lunabee34: (yuletide: is it yuletide yet by liviapen)
1. The time, it is upon us. I am contemplating the following for offer/request in Yuletide:

Imperial Radch
Jane Eyre
Mrs. Todd's Shortcut
Poems (Poe)
Tiffany Aching series
Wuthering Heights
The Yellow Wallpaper
Live Free or Die Hard
Jessica Jones
Penny Dreadful

2. I often read my network page, and I happened across someone whose dad has just been diagnosed with the same cancer as my dad. Would it be weird to reach out? It feels like it might be weird.

3. I did a little research about puberty and athletic performance in girls, and looks like puberty does often mean a decrease in running performance for a variety of reasons. I am relieved because I had started to worry that maybe something was wrong. If she can just stick with it, Emma should come out the other side alright.

4. I am done with my tagging project. Whoooooo! I realized about halfway through that I had missed a few things in the beginning years (for example, I didn't start tagging for music until I was well into the project), but I'll be damned if I go back through the whole thing again. It's as good as it's going to get. LOL

5. We watched Die Hard 2 yesterday. It is not nearly as good a movie as the first one for a couple of reasons. First, the villain is in a remote location and rarely interacts with McClane. One of the joys of Die Hard is that Hans Gruber is such a charismatic villain. He's in the same physical location with McClane for the whole movie; they're playing cat and mouse; they're talking on the walkie talkies. That's entirely absent from the sequel. The stakes also don't feel as high as they did in the first movie. I don't have a clear sense of who this general is and why he's such hot shit that so many people are willing to give up their careers for him. Plus, something about Hans Gruber manhandling Holly makes me worry about her in a way that her circling the airport endlessly never could (even if Gruber shooting her and her plane falling out of the sky make her equally dead). I like that Team Villain and Team Good Guys are multi-racial in both movies. Not much for the ladies to do in either of these movies although I would argue that Holly gets a good role and gets to play more than a victim in both. Josh and I about died at the end of the sequel, though, where McClane wanders around hollering, "Holly!" We both said, "Stella!" at the same time. It was more than a bit ridiculous.

6. Downton Abbey watching continues. SPOILERS )
lunabee34: (die hard: first movie john)
1. I cannot believe that I didn't post a movie review of Live Free or Die Hard in my journal. *boggles* I've gotten half-way through 2015 in my tagging project, and I suddenly realized that I didn't remember reading a Die Hard movie review. I went back through painstakingly, and sure enough, I never reviewed the movie. I am shocked. I had so much fun writing and reading in that fandom; I can't believe I didn't review the movie. The first Die Hard has been on like every five minutes this month, so I watched it with Emma. It's a great movie, but I think Live Free or Die Hard is the best of the franchise. Die Hard revolutionized the action movie genre. It becomes a movie which the action movies to follow emulate and then later try to subvert. Die Hard is earnest; it's got some humor, but that's not foregrounded in the movie. McClane is also allowed to be vulnerable in the first movie in a way that is totally endearing. Live Free or Die Hard, though, is just magic. It's such a meta movie. It's so funny, and it makes such splendid fun of itself--constantly scrutinizing and reveling in what makes an action movie and an action hero. It's also got genuine pathos, just enough to give the movie depth. Love it, love it, love it.

2. I got a full body mole scan and have been pronounced cancer free! The dermatologist also cut open these two little places on my face, one under each eye. They're basically whiteheads, but I've had them for years and years, so she was unable to just squeeze them out. She gave me a cream to put on them which should get rid of them in time. For now, though, I look like I have prison tattoos, a drop of blood under each eye. LOL

3. Dad seems to be doing a bit better, having a bit of an upswing in mental and physical health. *crosses fingers that it will last*

4. Fi got sick, had a cold like a normal child, and did not get pneumonia. Hallelujah, I think her lungs have gotten strong enough that we're not going to be in the ER every five seconds this year.

5. Emma's run times are much slower this year than last year despite practicing more diligently on the off season and going to more official practices than were held in the spring season. I wonder if her growing (getting taller, center of gravity changing, etc) could be affecting her performance. Thoughts? I might ask on that bodies in motion comm.
lunabee34: (disney hair by phchiu)
1. Yesterday was pretty awful for my mom and dad. Mom was driving him to his chemo appointment, and he suddenly passed out and started throwing up while he was unconscious. So they got to spend the day in the ER. He didn't have a stroke or heart attack. They think he had a vasovagal response which is apparently not a big deal (except for how my mom was certain he was dying and now she is unwilling to leave him alone for even a second; she's talking about getting some kind of continuous monitor for him to wear and not going to things because she doesn't want to leave him alone, and I get it, I do, I do, but she is going to burn out spectacularly if she lives at this height of anxiety for long). I wish I wasn't so far away. I feel very guilty about that.

2. I got a package of perfume from [personal profile] theora! Whoooo! I hope all my packages made it safely to their new homes.

3. I bought some makeup from Ulta, and it arrived a couple days ago. I've purchased from Sephora before and had really good experiences with them, but I was suckered in by how many free gift with purchase options there are on Ulta. Word of warning if you buy from them: they charge you for the purchase before it ships (even though the website says it only charges once something ships) and your order will say "processing" for far longer than you think it should before it actually ships. That being said, I am super pleased with what I got. I got the Urban Decay Anti-Aging Eye Primer and an Urban Decay eye pencil in a gorgeous purple (I've been wanting a purple eyeliner but ended up not caring for the Mary Kay one I got from mother-in-law; not purple enough) which came with a free gift of a small version of the Urban Decay Original Eye Primer and an Urban Decay eye shadow in a really flattering peachy pink. I also got the Smashbox Photo Finish Face primer which came with a free gift of a travel size version, a tiny lip gloss (which looks terrible on me but not so bad on Emma who doesn't want it; I think I'm going to see if the Sunday night crowd is interested), and a makeup bag. The Smashbox Face Primer is amazing, y'all. I had been using Clinique Superprimer Universal Face Primer (a good product for a good price), and the Smashbox is like diamonds next to Clinique's CZ. It is so soft and luxurious feeling. I really, really like it. Solid recs for everything I bought except the eyeliner because I haven't worn it yet. I liked the feeling of the lip gloss, just not the color. Ulta also sent me samples of Clinique Foaming Sonic Soap which is intended for use with their facial scrub brush system, but I just used my hands and really liked it. They also sent me a CC cream sample that I tossed because it was way too dark for me.

4. We have been watching Downton Abbey on Sunday nights and just finished the first season. Don't spoil me, please! I have somehow remained entirely unspoiled for anything that happens. I am really, really liking the show. The clothes and house porn alone are an amazing draw. And I love the characters so much. I love all the downstairs people except for O'Brien and Thomas (OMG, what horrific people). And I love all the upstairs people, too. I started out with a strong dislike of Mary that has slowly turned to solid love, and Edith is so nasty sometimes but I can totally see why she feels driven to behave the way she does. I can't wait to see where the show goes. I am hoping so much for a Bates/Anna romance. I am shipping it hard, hard, hard, hard, hard. Hard.

5. I am really proud of myself. I got back into the gym this week and have been every day. Now to keep up the momentum!
lunabee34: (Default)
As I suspected, my OBGYN was all, "Yes. You are not having a period. Excellent observational skills. Now pay the lady a hundred and fifty dollars on your way out."

It wasn't quite that bad; he's a good doctor and not dismissive, but I am so tired of every single doctor's visit being a mere confirmation that, yes, something is wrong with me, but no we're not going to do anything about it. I would like to have an actionable problem, my friends. LOL

Anyway, he said that if I go three cycles without a period to come back when I'm at the end of the off week of my birth control (taking birth control interferes with tests for menopause), so we'll see.

I also made an appointment with a dermatologist for next week. I've got a friend who has had numerous cancerous lesions removed in the past year which made me think I probably ought to have a full body check myself just to be sure.

And now for something completely different. I have been watching Tiny House Nation and coming up against a brick wall of understanding. I truly do not understand why anyone would choose to live in a tiny space. I mean, I get it on an intellectual level (wanting to reduce your energy footprint or spend less of your income on bills or as a matter of necessity in a major urban center), and I'd also get it if these houses were ever intended for one person to live in. But no, it's always a couple and sometimes a family with children and pets.

Part of my inability to get it is a product of my upbringing. I was raised with rural values. My parents taught me that owning land is paramount. They didn't have a huge house but it's four bedroom (because you have to be able to sleep everybody when they come to visit). I have never lived anywhere that space was at a premium. When we first moved here (my first real stint at living in a neighborhood), the houses being so close together was a real adjustment for me.

I don't need to live in a mansion, but I cannot imagine living in a tiny house. I cannot imagine sleeping in a loft bedroom in which I cannot even stand up straight. I cannot imagine being able to stretch out my arms and touch both walls of my living room. I think I would be so anxious (where do you go to get away from people?) and claustrophobic. Also, I do not have a lot of stuff. I have a very pared down closet. We don't own knickknacks. But I have a ton of books and a ton of dishes, and I wouldn't want to get rid of them. I definitely think too much stuff (and too much of the wrong stuff) is a Real Thing, but I don't agree that just Stuff in General is Bad.

What do y'all think? Could you live in a tiny house (gladly or only begrudgingly and of necessity)? Do you need your space?
lunabee34: (Default)
or at least I will be playing her at some time in the near future.

I have never played Dungeons and Dragons. Nobody I knew in grade school or high school played it. I think I vaguely knew what it was from seeing it mentioned in various media, but I didn't understand anything about what playing the game entails until I was an adult. Josh never played and didn't have any friends who played either.

This weekend, we went to visit our friends in Atlanta, and they want to start a D&D game with us. Neither of them have ever played either. LOL Dan has a book, so we spent an evening picking out our characters, class, alignment and names. Dan wants to be the DM, so he's going to spend some time researching and getting familiar with that role, and maybe next time we see each other (which given our track record of visitation since we tipped over into five children among us could be anywhere from six months to a year from now LOL), we can play.

We're less concerned with playing it "right" than having fun. I doubt any of us will ever get the opportunity to play with other people who might judge our D&D skills anyway. LOL Well, Emma might. We'll be sure that we acknowledge any deliberate subversion of proper play so she doesn't show up at the University of Anywhere But Here and scandalize the Gamers Club with her illegal moves or whatever. :)

I picked Gnome because I really liked the description of them in Dan's book. (As an aside, almost every pictured character in his book is female, and the characters are described with feminine pronouns almost as a default. I was very pleasantly surprised. The copyright date on this book was 2014. I wonder if previous editions were heavier on depiction and description of males.) I like that they're long lived, into fun and jokes, and into dressing well and adorning their clothes with gems. I picked Druid as my class which is probably weird and wrong (Josh snorted heavily during all my choices), but if so, then I am the first Gnome Druid in all of Dungeon Land. I picked either Lawful Good or Lawful Neutral as my alignment; I can't remember, but Dan has our spreadsheet.

Beyond picking out characters, I know that you roll dice to make stuff happen, but I don't know much about how you play beyond that. I know many of you have played D&D and similar in the past, so tell me all about it--stories, advice, tips, the favorite character you ever played, etc. Anything you want to share about your experiences would be interesting to me and appreciated.

Resources for D&D newbies (I did not make this thread on FFA despite the timing, cross my heart).
lunabee34: (btvs: mom by paigegail)
Emma got her braces off today! Whooooooooo!

Retainers are way different now than they were twenty years ago; now they're like those Invis-Align braces rather than a thing that sticks to the roof of your mouth. Emma will have to wear hers all the time until November, and then she gets to just wear it at night. Of course, nothing is quite that easy LOL. I have to contact the dentist so that Emma's teensy, weensy little canine teeth can be padded with faux tooth stuff until they are the size of Real Teeth at which point we'll have to have another retainer made.

We went to Books-a-Million and she got a book by Dan and Phil, her favorite Youtube sensations, and then ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery. We also got everything she needs for her Halloween costume (Gerard Way in his yellow mask and red hair for the Danger Days album).

Life is pretty good.
lunabee34: (hp: harry trunk by born butterfly)
Friday, Midday Music on NPR was playing sci-fi and fantasy music in honor of Dragon Con, so I got to rock out to the Imperial March when I was heading to town to shop. :)

I took Emma shopping yesterday for more track clothes (she has finally reached the point where she really needs to wear a sports bra), and I bought us both Harry Potter and Cursed Child.

I loved it! )

I know several of you read and reviewed it, but I can't remember who. Link me up?
lunabee34: (perfume: art deco bottle by sallymn)
Guerlain Champs Elysees: Delicate fruity-floral fragrance. Mimosa, rose, almond, and forest fruits are followed by melon and exotic fruits.

I have found a Guerlain I like. Hallelujah! Normally I am not drawn to florals or fruity scents, but this just smells really nice on me. It's not strong, very close to the skin, with rose predominating (but not in that annoying way that all BPAL roses turn into one note tea-rose on me). There's a hint of apricot that could turn rancid on me the way it does in Tresor, but it turns sweetly fruity instead. Emma thinks it smells bitter, like flowers, and like old ladies. LOL Despite being fruity and floral, she's right that this is not a scent for a teen. Josh is not enthusiastic, but he doesn't dislike it, so score! Luca Turin hates this (like with the passion of a thousand suns), but he loves Hermessence Vetiver Tonka, so what does he know?

Opium Yves Saint Laurent: Top notes are coriander, plum, citruses, mandarin orange, pepper, jasmine, cloves, west indian bay and bergamot; middle notes are carnation, sandalwood, patchouli, cinnamon, orris root, peach, lily-of-the-valley and rose; base notes are labdanum, tolu balsam, sandalwood, opoponax, musk, coconut, vanilla, benzoin, vetiver, incense, cedar, myrrh, castoreum and amber.

Wow, they put everything but the kitchen sink in this one. LOL This was a Sunday night test, so lots of opinions. C just hated it, absolutely despised it in a way that was very funny. L used to wear it years ago, so she liked it just fine and smelled it with the nose of nostalgia. M didn't really care for it but realized that someone in her family used to wear it years ago, so it brought up memories of her grandmother's house. Josh likes it; he thinks it's a warm scent, smelling of cinnamon, vanilla, and rose. For me, the jasmine initially threatens to make it unwearable. Fortunately, after about ten minutes, the jasmine is completely gone, leaving something really nice: sandalwood, balsam, vanilla, cinnamon, musk.

BPAL Kathmandu: Saffron, blessed sandalwood, Himalayan cedar and the miraculous lotus of the Buddha with chiuri bark and Nepalese spices.

This is another Sunday test, and I don't seem to be having a whole lot of luck with the BPAL we test. No one likes this one. I smell lotus and cedar, no sandalwood (which I love), and a medicinal underpinning. MM smells sweet sandalwood. M thinks it smells like a minty version of Valentine's Day candy hearts. Emma just says no. L thinks it smells like rose and candy and weirdly like Tabu. C smells tea tree oil, and A smells sandalwood.

BPAL Rome: A recipe gleaned from Classical Rome: cypress, juniper, chamomile and rose.

This one turns one-note tea rose on all my Sunday testers. Another dud.

Swaps and Giveaways )
lunabee34: (writer by sukibluefiction)
 photo LWC_02_zpsfh8l6ts2.png

What a wonderful thing is the mail, capable of conveying across continents a warm human hand-clasp.*

Under the cut, I am putting the names of the people who matched to each other. Please PM each other your addresses so you can send your correspondence. Letters (or postcards, etc.) must be postmarked by October 1.

Look back at the DW Signup Post or the LJ Signup Post and find your partner's signup for inspiration. You can also talk to your partner about what you want to write/read when you PM them.

Please feel free to post about the letters when you start receiving them (pictures, description, a transcript of any fic you might get, etc.). I'd love to make a master post linking to all that stuff and giving your creativity a wider audience.

LJ Matches )

DW Matches )

And we know this challenge is charmed because an even number of people signed up. LOL

Let me know if you have any questions or need any help (or notice that I've left someone out or made a spelling error in names).

ETA: I forgot to thank [personal profile] endeni for making this beautiful banner for the challenge.

lunabee34: (heart by jjjean65)
1. I wore the necklace and bracelet that [ profile] shaddyr made me yesterday and felt so pretty.

2. Josh's mom is doing well. Turns out that she didn't have any sort of cardiac event but it was something GI-related, so she's following up with a gastroenterologist, and it's not a big deal. Dad is doing well; he finished one complete round of chemo, and his only side effect has been fatigue. Excellent news on both fronts.

3. I finished Cheese and Culture: A History of Cheese and Its Place in Western Civilization, a book that [personal profile] executrix sent me. The topic is interesting, and I enjoyed learning about milestones in cheese history, but boy is this book a slog to read. So dry. So boring. I wonder if this guy's college lectures are as tedious. LOL However, I have started another book that [personal profile] executrix sent me that is wonderful and a joy to read, a biography of Jane Austen.

4. Coming up tonight: a perfume review and swaps post

5. Coming up tomorrow: Letter Writing Challenge Assignments go out!
lunabee34: (btvs: b/w spander by literati)
So, one of the consequences of the massive tag project I'm doing is that I keep finding stuff that I don't remember anything about. Usually it's a post about an event I can't recall or one where I mention someone and I have no idea who that person is anymore.

However, this post from 2010 is just bizarre. It's a private post, which is how I used to write a lot of my entries, especially if I was going to have to stop writing in the middle and go somewhere or do something. I'd post what I had privately and come back and finish it later. I've been doing lots of deleting of the private rough draft versions of posts in this tag project.

As far as I can tell, though, I never finished writing this post or posted it anywhere. It's formatted really strangely, almost as if I was going to be giving a presentation with someone else. IDK what I could have written this for or where I posted it if I ever did. If anybody recognizes this, please let me know.

Have some Spander ship manifesto )
lunabee34: (cmm:  b/w red by sheepy_hollow)
1. I got the best package from [ profile] decynthus today! She made me all these cool fandom magnets with multiple picture options so I can switch them out when I want to. My favorites are one of Tyrion that says "I drink wine and I know things," another one that says Lyanna Mormont for President, a photo of the TOS crew on the bridge (*sniffle*), and one of River Tam that says "my food is problematic." LOL I have the best friends. Thank you so much, sweetie.

2. In random autoimmune disorder news, I don't know exactly when this started happening but it's been since we lived here, so sometime in the last eight years, I started getting this rash on my chest and jawline. It wasn't really visible, maybe slightly red, but nothing anyone would notice if I didn't scratch it. It would appear randomly and for no reason I could discern. Turns out this is a almost certainly a celiac thing or even a Hashimoto's thing. Lots of people with both report rashes that get better or go away entirely when they go gluten free. I haven't had the rash since I went gluten free. Over the last couple of days, it's started to appear again, and I couldn't figure out why. I haven't eaten in a restaurant in weeks. Well, son-of-a-bitch the ibuprofen I've been taking over the last three days has gluten in it. Aaaaaarrrgh! Why is gluten in everything OMG?

3. I fell twice pretty spectacularly at the beginning of this month, the second time banging myself up pretty badly, and now my arthritis is acting up pretty terribly in my knee. Boo and hiss.

4. Don't forget to sign up for the Letter Writing Challenge!
lunabee34: (writer by sukibluefiction)
 photo LWC_02_zpsfh8l6ts2.png

What a wonderful thing is the mail, capable of conveying across continents a warm human hand-clasp.*

The Rules: By participating in this challenge, you agree to send some form of written correspondence through the mail to the person you're matched with postmarked by the due date. This can be a letter, a card, or a postcard. You may be matched to someone in another country.

1. Signups end Sept 1; assignments to immediately follow; rather than asking you to give me your addresses, I will just connect the two people who will be writing to each other; you can then exchange addresses at that point with no middle-person
2. Letters postmarked by Oct 1

Signups: Because it can be difficult to write a letter to someone you don't know (and because one of the goals of such a challenge is to get to know people better), please comment to this post with a list of at least five things you'd be willing to talk about in a letter and five things you'd be interested in reading about. If that list includes fannish items, include a list of fandoms.

Here are some examples:

1. My three favorite characters (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Deadwood, or Star Trek DS9)
2. A virtual tour of my neighborhood
3. My favorite author or book
4. A fic drabble in one of the following fandoms: Firefly, Penny Dreadful, Supernatural
5. [personal profile] sholio suggested writing a letter from the POV of a character; you could list a group of fandoms or characters for this one

This is an opportunity to be creative! Feel free to take pictures of your creations or make posts about your stationery or your ink pens or whatever. Link me to them and I'll make a master post of them.


(Let me know if y'all see anything that needs to be added or changed about this post.)
lunabee34: (writer by sukibluefiction)
Several of you responded to my last post saying you would be up for a letter writing challenge.

How do you think that challenge should go? Should the challenge be simply to write a letter to someone and report back that you've done so (maybe with pictures or commentary on paper, ink, etc, if you so desire)?

I was thinking of matching people who wanted to participate, but it's hard to write a letter to someone you don't know, so I don't think that will work.

Any additional suggestions?
lunabee34: (fandom is my fandom by laurashapiro)
I am slowly going through my journal and cleaning up tags; I mostly didn't use them the first few years I had a journal, and I want my journal to be usable. I've done 2005, 2006, and most of 2007. Have some observations:

1. Wow, I used to post a lot. And write a lot of fic. And host ficathons. And mod communities. And post a lot of meta. And make a metric fuckton of rec posts. I mean, 2005-2008 are the halcyon years of posting for me. It was my most productive fannish era. But, sheesh. I'm jealous of myself. LOL

2. I'm amazed at what got left out of my journal. Over the years, I've gradually done more and more personal life posting, but these first years are almost exclusively fannish, and I'm surprised at what I don't mention. Like, for instance, in 2006 I lost fifty pounds and only mention losing weight in a very general way like one time.

3. Oh, man. The memes. I did lots of memes, the fun ones like "Give me a fake fic title and I'll write you a drabble" or "five things I X." I miss doing those.

4. DVD commentaries! Also really fun. I haven't seen any of those in quite some time.

5. I also found one or two places where I had given too much identifying info and deleted that info.

In other news, would anyone be interested in participating in some of kind of paper goods challenge? Like maybe sending snail mail letters or cards to each other?
lunabee34: (thanks by ponders_life)
Dad had a variety of tests this week, including a CT scan and a bone marrow biopsy. The result of these tests is that he does not have multiple myeloma but another cancer altogether.

From my mother's email: Details )

So, Dad probably won't even lose his hair or have terrible nausea from the chemo. I am really positive and optimistic about this diagnosis and treatment plan, and Mom and Dad both sound really positive, too.

Thank you all for your well wishes, prayers, and good thoughts. They are appreciated.

Josh's mom goes to the doctor next week to find out about her acute coronary syndrome, so hopefully that will also be something more manageable and less scary than it sounds.
lunabee34: (lorraine is a teacher by emella)
1. [personal profile] antares_dw made beautiful cover art for my J/D Ficathon story. You can see it HERE. *squee* Very few times have I been given art for a story, so this is extra special. :)

2. Josh has logged into both his online classes and reports that they don't look as scary as he thought they might. Yay! I think getting a couple weeks under his belt will help him become more confident.

3. How sad are you that [community profile] paperjournals is a defunct community? Not as sad as I am. This looks like it was a really cool comm in its heyday; lots of posts of beautiful journals, pages inside journals, journal projects. I have recently gotten super into looking for planners, notebooks, fountain pens, paper suitable for fountain pen use, etc., online and would love to play around in a comm devoted to that. Some of the people posting there were super creative. If anybody wants to talk paper goods, pens, pencils, art supplies, etc., I am happy to have that conversation (although I will politely not get it if you wax enthusiastic about the washi tape).

4. Although we've already had two weeks of department meetings, committee meetings, and the mad rush to get syallabi and online components finalized, today was the first day back at school, and I am so glad for it. I've been ready to get back to a regular work week since June. I am one of those people who do not do terribly well with a lot of downtime. Lacking a regular schedule is not good for my mental health and allows me to indulge my worst habits. I am excited about the start of the semester, looking forward to my classes, and really optimistic about getting a lot of work done. In the past few years, I've been teaching two classes online and two in the classroom; this has allowed me to arrange my schedule where I only have to be on campus three days a week. While fun in many ways, this schedule is not conducive to me getting much beyond what I need to do for teaching accomplished. This semester, I'm on campus four days a week and think I will be much more productive for it. I've got a senior level class to prep for and some publications to get out there; it'll be time to apply for full professor before I know it.

5. A friend's post about her relationship with her parents has got me thinking about mine. I don't know if you guys remember my post from earlier in the summer where my dad yelled at me, but he and mom really hurt my feelings. After we left their house, I didn't speak to them for weeks, and pretty much the next time we talked was for them to tell me that dad was sick and getting tests to figure out what was wrong. So I feel this futile mixture of guilty for being angry at him and not speaking to him since he's sick and really angry because he never acknowledged hurting my feelings, will never acknowledge hurting my feelings or apologize for it, and will probably do the same thing again at which point I get to decide if the man potentially dying of cancer gets a get-out-of-jail-free card for being an ass or if I want to press the point of how treating your grown daughter like that is Not Acceptable. I also had a realization about that incident which made me even angrier about it; what set off the tirade was (no lie) that Josh and I did not agree with Mom and Dad that Mark Hamill looks deformed in the closing shot of TFA. That led to Dad hollering about how Josh had been so ugly to Mom all weekend and talking down to her (he had not), and I realized today that right before we watched the movie, Mom had been reading the paper and she started talking about that kid that was attacked by an alligator at Disney. I asked her politely a couple times to stop talking about it because I have serious issues with child death and I get caught in thought loops where I can't stop thinking about it. I had been having intrusive thoughts about this situation the whole car trip down after hearing NPR reporting and had trouble sleeping the night before because I couldn't stop thinking about it. She. Would. Not. Stop. Talking. About. It. Finally, Josh snapped at her and asked her to please stop talking about it in a Not Nice Tone of Voice. *shakes head* I can't imagine continuing to talk about something after my child told me it was harming her.

6. In other parental news, Josh's mom had a nice ER visit last week. She did not have a heart attack, but she had something called acute coronary syndrome which was not explained to her beyond, "You did not have a heart attack." She had a heart cath and had no blockages (which yay). They also did not set her up with a follow-up with a cardiologist. So she's getting that taken care of this week so she can figure out what happened to her and how to proceed from here.
lunabee34: (perfume: art deco bottle by sallymn)
I just got a package from [personal profile] executrix filled with gluten free pasta, adorable notebooks, and a book about Victorian ideas of masculinity. Whoooooo! Thank you, sweetie. It was a real pick-me-up. That Kate Spade notebook is to die for.

In perfume news, we've tested three perfumes since the last post.


In a couple of weeks, I'm going to make a swaps/giveaway post, so you might want to check out my Masterlist post to see if there's anything you're interested in swapping for or otherwise taking off my hands. I'll be adding more to the pile, I'm sure, as I continue to test until the end of the month.


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