lunabee34: (writer by sukibluefiction)
NOTE: If you are looking for something specific, the dreamwidth version of my journal is a better bet than the livejournal version. I have cleaned up html errors from early days and extensively rehauled tags for better searching on the dreamwidth version only.

FANFIC MASTERLIST: These are listed in order of their post dates within each fandom. All fic has also been posted to AO3.

An asterisk (*) indicates that the fic has been remixed.

AVENGERS )

ATS )

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA )

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER AND ANGEL THE SERIES )

DIE HARD )

DR. HORRIBLE )

FARSCAPE )

FIREFLY )

HARRY POTTER )

STARGATE ATLANTIS )

SG1 )

STARGATE UNIVERSE )

SUPERNATURAL )

STAR TREK 2009 )

STAR TREK TOS )

STAR TREK VOYAGER )

STAR TREK DS9 )

RPF )

MISC )

REMIXES )

YULETIDE )
lunabee34: (reading by thelastgoodname)
The Dead SecretThe Dead Secret by Wilkie Collins

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I absolutely loved this book. Many of Collins's novels are predicated on a secret, and this is clearly no exception. What I really liked about this book (in comparison to, say, Man and Wife where the audience is in on the secret the whole time) is that the secret is kept from the audience until almost the very end. For a good half of the book, I had no clue what the secret might be, and then I started to suspect what the secret was but not the why of it. The mystery aspect of the novel is really well done. Collins misdirects multiple times, leaving little clues that end up going nowhere or suggesting something about someone's personality that ends up not playing out the way the reader might think.

The characters are very well drawn and interesting. One of the main characters is blind, and his wife serves as his eyes, giving Collins ample opportunity for beautiful prose and sparkling dialogue.

I don't want to spoil what the secret is, but I will say that it's heartbreaking, and I found myself moved to tears by the novel's end.

So, if you like a good mystery, a heaping helping of gothic trappings, irascible old misanthropes, and beautiful young women who can describe the contents of a room as if they're reciting poetry, this is the novel for you!



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lunabee34: (are those men kissing? by animekittysama)
The AwakeningThe Awakening by Kate Chopin

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I'd only read this book once a very long time ago as an undergraduate, and my memories of it were hazy before this reread. I hadn't remembered how candidly it treats Edna's infidelity, and I thought it had been written much later than the turn of the century.

I also didn't know anything about Kate Chopin until this reread. Apparently, publishing The Awakening ruined her career; the book was roundly condemned, and she lost her reputation and many friends as a result. She only lived four years after it's publication, dying of a stroke or aneurysm. I think a lot about women writers who weren't appreciated in their time and what they would think of their place in the literary canon carved out by second wave feminists in the 60s and 70s. I hope Chopin would feel vindicated that classrooms of college students read her novel each semester and discuss Edna Pontellier's stifling marriage and the limited choices available to her.

I was especially struck on this read by her feelings for her children, how she loves them but doesn't want to be consumed by them, how she wants to follow her own desires but doesn't want her children to be hurt in the fall-out. I am so glad that I live in the 21st century in which I can find plenty of examples of women who have careers and families, who follow their own hearts and are good mothers, who pursue their ambitions and hold down the fort at home at the same time. I'm so glad we live in a time where people can be more open about how maddening motherhood is, how nobody enjoys parental sacrifices, and how being angry or depressed or frustrated is a natural part of being a parent. If I had to live surrounded by the "mother-women" Chopin describes, those women who are constantly sewing baby clothes and who cannot leave their husbands alone because the husbands need them, and who are defined solely by those relationships, I'd probably find myself in crisis, too.

This book is very sad but very beautifully written. Highly recommended.



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lunabee34: (Ouida by ponders_life)
1. [personal profile] havocthecat told me how she makes ginger tea, so today I bought a knob of fresh ginger, chopped it up, and steeped it in hot water. Delicious tea!

2. The Great Towel Search of 2017 concluded with the purchase of Fieldcrest towels from Target. I bought half of the towels in a dark gray and the other half in a lighter gray. I washed and dried them before use; they haven't shed any fibers at all. They are super soft, and the color is very rich. They are not quite as absorbent as my 20 year old towels, but how could they be? I think once we've washed and dried them a dozen times, they'll be just about perfect, and they're just fine now.

3. Downton Abbey watch is plugging along. SPOILERS )

4. I'm about a third of the way through Wilkie Collins's The Dead Secret and loving it. He's such a good writer. Also started Kate Chopin's The Awakening which I've only read once and long ago.

5. Josh saw the gastroenterologist today. He's scheduled for an endoscopy in two weeks. He also saw an allergist who tested him for all the allergies. No food allergies (and she said what's going on with him doesn't sound like a food allergy anyway because those almost invariably present with hives and swelling and redness and trouble breathing, etc, and he's had zero of those symptoms), but he does have a pretty severe dust mite allergy. So he'll start getting allergy shots to take care of that in a couple weeks; doc says this should help his general health overall and keep him from getting so many colds and respiratory stuff, so that's good. I really hope we'll have an answer from the endoscopy rather than needing to do additional tests. Josh is really worried that they just won't find anything, and he'll have to find some way to live with this. But for now, optimism!
lunabee34: (Default)
1. First an update on Josh. He's had another attack this week; he couldn't work yesterday or today. The gastroenterologist couldn't move up his appointment, so he'll be going tomorrow. I'm starting to get really worried that something is seriously wrong. I'm also concerned about how he's going to manage work until the doctors can figure out what's wrong with him and address that. We all know how long that process can take. :(

2. I thought the last episode of Lucifer was completely fantastic. SPOILERS )

3. Gotham remains a delight, and I can't wait until it comes back. Baby!Bruce is legit the best Batman of all time. I love watching him develop his Batman ethos. SPOILERS )

4. Finally, we watched Batman Versus Superman last night, and I will say this outside the cut so that you know what you're getting into ahead of time: this was a good movie. Like surprisingly, really good. SPOILERS )

I didn't expect to like this so well. I think it even makes me like the Superman movie, which I already liked just fine, even more because it deals with the fallout from the events in that movie.
lunabee34: (spn: dean at end by secretly_to_dream)
1. My dad is not doing well. He's been feeling physically bad for the past two weeks, including one ER visit. They uploaded the latest results of blood work to the portal yesterday, and his cancer markers are rising again. This is not good news. Mom is extremely depressed; she's trying to wait to completely give in to despair until she speaks to the doctor, but she's losing her optimism.

2. I feel guilty being upset about my own health when Mom and Dad are going through something much more traumatic, but I am really bummed out. I've been having some low level twinges this past week from my IC which pisses me off because if I am giving up eating everything I truly love then I better damn well not have any IC symptoms, you know? I also had to strike another thing I'd been eating frequently because it has soy in it; well, may have soy in it. The ingredient list says something like "vegetable oil (corn, soybean or safflower"), so no way to tell for sure. *sigh* At least I'm not having any side effects from the Elmiron; I did have night sweats a couple times since I started taking it, which is annoying but not on the level of losing my hair or feeling like I have to throw up all the time. So at least there's that.

3. On a more positive note, I have replaced some of my underwear with the correct size and bought several pairs of yoga pants and a pair of pajama pants in my size. I hope to buy a few more pairs of underwear and yoga pants this weekend and close out those categories of wardrobe building. My friends and I are going shopping on the first weekend of March, and I hope to get some nice dresses at that point. I'm going to see Mom and Dad that week, and I hope Mom and I can go shopping. cut for discussion of weight )
lunabee34: (Default)
Jane EyreJane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I love this novel, and I love it even better on this reread. One of my favorite novels is Wuthering Heights, and both times I've read Jane Eyre I've been struck by the similarities I see between the sisters' writing (which isn't surprising since they spent so much time writing collaboratively about their imaginary world). Jane Eyre is so modern to me--the first person narrator, the focus on the psychology and motivation of characters, the lack of superfluous description. Dickens writes about orphans and poor people and the disadvantaged, and although I love Dickens, I never once forget that I'm reading a novel written more than a hundred years ago when I read, say, Oliver Twist. When Bronte writes about the same topics in Jane Eyre, they are biting and harrowing and feel contemporary to me in a way that many Victorian novels do not. Wuthering Heights has this modern quality about it as well. The way Jane and Rochester speak to each other--prickly and teasing and sarcastic, one zinger after another--also strikes me as a particularly modern way of writing dialogue. Love this book, love that Jane gets a happy ending, love that she finds a home and a family.



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lunabee34: (reading by thelastgoodname)
Wide Sargasso SeaWide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


I have to admit that I didn't care overly much for the writing style except in Part 3. Bertha's backstory was much sadder and more cruel than I expected it to be. She is the mirror image of Jane--orphaned, abandoned and mistreated by those who should be family, unloved, sent away to school. There's even a Helen in her life, but they don't become friends like Jane and her Helen. I think I find Rhys's Rochester more monstrous than I was expecting because he does actually love Bertha at one point. He falls for her, and then he listens to gossip and he cheats on her. Totally despicable. I was reading this for pleasure and not taking notes or reading methodically and so the dreamy and disjointed quality of the narrative was at times tedious and confusing, again except in the third section where that style of writing worked perfectly for me. Now that I think of it, I didn't mind the style in the first section which was also narrated by Bertha either; it was only really jarring in the second section where Rochester's voice is no different from Bertha's. This is an interesting companion to Jane Eyre, but I don't believe I will feel compelled to re-read any time soon.



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lunabee34: (reading by tabaqui)
Man and WifeMan and Wife by Wilkie Collins

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


I enjoyed this although not so well as No Name or Woman in White. Man and Wife is very humorous and satirical. Collins is constantly poking fun at the conventions of the time, and he consistently hits the mark when he makes fun of Lady Lundie--the affected, bossy, and manipulative social butterfly. His book was intended to shed light on Scottish marriage laws (which really do sound utterly ridiculous and not at all a good idea), and the story does a good job of revealing their potential for harm. Collins's other thesis is one that amuses me a bit. The main antagonist of the story is an athlete who essentially ruins his body and his mind through exercise. Now, I'm totally on Collins's side when he asserts that national obsession with sports to the exclusion of the arts and the cultivation of the intellect is A Bad Thing, Indeed. I also agree with his implicit thesis that excellent male athletes are forgiven many faults that they shouldn't be because of their athletic prowess and that something is wrong when masculinity is defined solely as a product of physical ability. But to the modern reader, his idea that most people who strenuously exercise are risking paralytic stroke is a bit silly. I have to admit that I found the storyline for the most part predictable (girl is ruined; ruiner declines to marry her; her best friend's fiance is put into a contrived situation in which he appears to be married to her; this problem comprises the bulk of the novel; at the end, the situation is resolved and the best friend's fiance is off the hook) until I got to the last fourth of the book. Then it takes a really unexpected and gripping turn that belies the humor of the beginning. The athlete who ruins our virtuous heroine decides to kill her after he finds a written confession of murder, and the method he employs is really ingenious. The confession is incredibly dark and detailed, and the athlete's mental journey from Asshole to Murderer is fascinating to read. I also loved the very end in which Lady Lundie gets her final comeuppance. I really didn't see that coming.



View all my reviews
lunabee34: (Ouida by ponders_life)
1. Update on Josh's health: blood work, X-Rays, and ultrasounds show no abnormalities, so the major horrific stuff like cancer seems off the table. He has a appt with an allergist on the 17th to explore the possibility of a food or other allergy. He started feeling really bad last night and is still feeling bad so he called and got them to refer him to a gastroenterologist (which is what I wanted him to do in the first place during his Friday follow-up), so hopefully he'll be able to get an appt soon. I have no idea what's going on, but I wonder if it's some form of IBS or colitis or even Crohn's. I also think it would the most bizarre coincidence ever but I want him to get tested for celiac as well. So hopefully we'll figure out what's going on soon and move from the debilitating and inexplicable pain portion to the treatment portion.

2. Don't forget to check out [community profile] journalsandplanners and possibly do some signal boosting if you are so inclined. Thanks to those who have so far. :)

3. I am almost done with Jane Eyre (which I've only read once before this and that was last year; someone revoke my Ph.D. in Victorian lit LOL) and with Man and Wife by Wilkie Collins. Reviews of both forthcoming. I will then start Wide Sargasso Sea which I've never read. I'm still on track with my Goodreads challenge.

4. I talked briefly about fandom with my senior class (without revealing that I participate or sharing any of that kind of information with them but, I fear, probably talked about it knowledgeably enough that they realize I'm at least fandom adjacent LOL), and one of them mentioned Wattpadd as one of their primary platforms. Anybody know about what that is? She seemed to think it was going to help her become a published author which pinged me as probably not likely, but IDK.

5. Tell me something! Ask me something! Gotham and Lucifer both are on hiatus (which is bullshit; hiatus is over Christmas and then the show starts back and continues until May; it is known), so I'm free this evening.
lunabee34: (journalsandplanners mod by independence1)
 photo JP banner.jpg


[personal profile] independence1776 and I have created a new community devoted to journals and planners called

[community profile] journalsandplanners


Anything related to journals and planners (even electronic versions) is on topic in this community.

I've been having a great deal of fun reading and posting in [community profile] bujo, but I don't really bullet journal, and I wanted a space where I could talk more freely about the kinds of journaling I'm doing. I intend to still be active in that comm, but I thought other people might be interested in straying off topic as well.

Please join us there, and please promote this community if you think your circle would be interested!

Home sick

1/2/17 12:02
lunabee34: (Default)
1. I have finally succumbed to whatever sickness has been going around our house. I almost never get respiratory stuff, so when I do, I am always astonished by how terrible a cold feels. I really should have stayed home yesterday instead of driving an hour each way to teach on the satellite campus, teaching here, and then driving an hour each way to go to the urologist in the afternoon. By the evening, I could barely speak. I feel somewhat better today. I had to go get medicine that's gluten free *and* meets the IC diet requirements. I didn't have any on hand because I almost never get colds. And don't even get me started on how many medicines have citric or ascorbic acid in them.

2. I've decided to start taking Elmiron, the drug for IC. I cannot have another flare up like the one last week if I can help it. I was pretty much laid up and unable to do anything. And immediately catching this cold on the heels of that flare up waning has made me extremely unproductive in the last week.

I don't really want to take Elmiron. I am not comforted when the doctor tells me that they don't know exactly how the drug works. I am also not comforted by the potential side effects which include GI issues and hair loss. But we'll see. The doc says that GI issues usually diminish if people can stick with the drug long enough. Now if I can just get the prescription filled. He supposedly called it in yesterday, but the pharmacy didn't receive it.

3. I have found myself becoming more and more anxious as our political situation in the U.S. deteriorates. Being sick doesn't help as the two main ways I combat my anxiety are through exercise (which I've been largely unable to do in the last week) and through being productive (which has also fallen by the wayside). I think I'm going to have to put some limits on myself. I want to be an informed citizen and do my part in the Resistance, but the way I've been feeling in the past week is counterproductive.

So, as Bill Maher would say, New Rules:

A. I will not watch Fox News at the gym even though it is the only available program. I will move to a machine that makes looking at the TV difficult.

B. I will only read NPR once a day.

C. I will continue to listen to NPR when in the car.

D. I will stop reading the US Politics thread on FFA.

E. I will stop rehearsing conversations with my family members that I will never have. I actually tried to look up their Facebooks this weekend just to see if they'd expressed any regrets (WTF, self?!) and was unable to see anything because I don't have an account (which is for the best). I even looked up Southern Baptist responses to this latest executive order and was surprised to see that it's being condemned even from that quarter. I am pleasantly shocked, but it's too little too late, of course.
lunabee34: (Default)
I'd have been hoarse within a month."

Downton Abbey watching continues. We watched the season three finale last night. SPOILERS )

In other news, [personal profile] executrix sent me an awesome package: two pairs of fleece lined leggings, a Wilkie Collins book, and a gorgeous red shirt (literally off her back). Exec, that red shirt does indeed look a bombshell on me. I'm going to try to get some pictures soon to put up. :)
lunabee34: (Default)
1. I've started doing some planning/writing for my Autoimmune Memoir, and I realized that I have the hardest time writing in past tense now because I write all my fanfic in present tense. Would it be weird to read a memoir in present tense? Should I force the past tense until it becomes comfortable again? What do y'all think?

2. There's a new comm, [community profile] bujo, that some of you may be interested in. It's about bullet journaling which I have pretty much decided is not for me, but I enjoy reading about all things journal/planner related.

I wish there was an active comm for all different kinds of journaling, planners, to-do list lovers, etc. I feel like the answer is to make a new one (but lordy do I not want to mod anything right now; of course, it could just be largely unmoderated) or to try to revive [community profile] paperjournals. What do y'all think? Which seems more likely to succeed? Any interest in an all-encompassing journal/planner comm?

3. We are all so sick. Waaaaaah. Josh was out the first two days of this week. He frequently and randomly has bouts of vomiting/diarrhea that we can't explain. For the longest time, I really didn't think much of it and assumed they were anxiety related. Now, though, I worry that some underlying condition is causing these episodes, so he's started the process of figuring out a diagnosis. Ultrasound and X-Rays tomorrow!

Emma's cold is lingering.

Fiona has . . . something. Doc thinks it's bacterial but not quite sure. So she's on antibiotics. If she doesn't improve by the morning, I'll take her back.

This is my greatest shame as a mom, but situations where the kids have to miss school always bring out the selfish beast in me. I had so much work I wanted to do today, alack.

Of course, I am sick now, too. I almost never get colds, so when I do, they feel pretty debilitating. Bleck. Which means I can stop whining about missing work today because I feel so shitty, I probably wouldn't have gotten as much done as I want anyway. LOL
lunabee34: (writer by sukibluefiction)
1. I've been having some pretty intense IC flare ups over the last week and a half. I've gone back on the super strict elimination diet, taken some more things out of my diet that I hadn't realized were potentially triggering, and quit taking my vitamins.

I started taking vitamins every day when I got home from Christmas because I'm concerned about vitamin deficiencies on this diet. Now, this should be completely obvious, but a bunch of those vitamins (and not just the multi but also the fish oil and the calcium) have ascorbic acid in them. *headdesk* I've gradually been feeling worse and worse since we got home from Christmas, and now I am convinced it's because of those damn vitamins.

For after only three days without them and back on the elimination diet, I am feeling pretty good. I'm not hurting nearly as badly as I was. I'm not 100% but so much better. Whoooooo!

This just underscores how important it is for me to thoroughly scrutinize everything I put in my mouth and not just food but medicines too.

I've been doing some more IC research, and I think that in addition to sabotaging myself with vitamins and popcorn with ascorbic acid in them, I didn't stay on the elimination diet long enough for the damage to heal. What I'm reading now says 3-6 month minimum. I also read some things that suggest that if I eliminate a trigger food for long enough (a year or more), it may cease to be one. I also tried to introduce new foods too quickly. So, learning stuff here.

2. Thanks for you input on remembering to take my meds. I've put up notes under the TV (which we usually eat in front of) and on the cabinet. I've put the meds on the coffee table where I usually eat, and I've set the alarm for dinner time. *crosses fingers*

3. Thanks also for everyone's input on how to approach a Write Every Day Project. I'm going to set a goal of 200 words daily but might revise that upwards after I've done it for awhile and get a sense of my capabilities. I also might take [personal profile] sholio's advice and change it to a weekly rather than daily goal. I'm definitely going to keep track of it so that I can see progress over time (probably in one of my super cute notebooks with big milestones recorded on DW). [personal profile] executrix pointed me to Written Kitten which looks like an awesome motivator. So, I think I'm going to set a start date for tomorrow!

4. When I asked for advice about writing a book about my autoimmune disorder experiences, [personal profile] executrix suggested that one way to go about getting a publishing deal is to write a popular blog on the topic which agents and publishers can use to see that you have a built in audience. I know this is an avenue that works because I'm seeing people all the time in magazines and etc who started out with a blog about a topic and then turned that into a book or a product or a store or some other kind of business.

I've been doing a little bit of superficial research about blogging to be popular and gain followers, but I'd like to hear your perspective:

a. If you have a blog that you use to promote your writing or your business, how does that work for you?
b. What's the best blogging platform to accomplish this? I'm thinking Wordpress, but IDK.
c. Do I really have to get on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter and etc?
d. How much work is this approach likely to be? The writing content part I don't think I will struggle with. I've looked at a few tutorials that talk about having a good profile page, having lots of banked content before you go live, how to title posts for better search engine results. But the getting readership part sounds super involved. Thoughts?
lunabee34: (heart by jjjean65)
[personal profile] executrix



You are unfailingly kind to us all--generous and supportive and encouraging.

I am thankful every day that I met you twelve years ago. You have enriched my life.

(Your present is on the way!)
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lunabee34: (writer by sukibluefiction)
1. My parents weathered the storm okay; they'll be out of power at least through Monday (probably longer) but since surviving Katrina, they are mother-fucking prepared. Nobody I know died or was severely injured although some people in my parents' church had extensive property damage. /gratitude

2. Our roof is leaking. Naturally. Thank the baby Jesus in his golden diapers that we are renting and it is somebody else's problem.

3. I need to take a medication right as I start eating, and I keep forgetting to do so until after I've eaten. Help me figure out how to remember to do this. Josh has suggested setting alarms, but I don't eat lunch at the same time every day. It would work for dinner time because we always eat at roughly the same time. Suggestions?

4. I really want to explore the writing idea I had about interstitial cystitis. If I never write anything, it'll go nowhere. So I want to commit to writing daily. What is a good daily word count minimum to set? I want it to be substantial enough that I take it seriously but not so much that it's intimidating and I don't do it. Anyone who's ever had a daily writing goal wanna weigh in? What did you do? How did it work? Any other suggestions that you'd make for someone who's wanting to start a big project and needs to figure out how to generate consistent forward momentum?
lunabee34: (Default)
I turned on the TV to catch the tail end of the inaugural speech. He spoke for about thirty seconds, and then the TV cut off, never to revive.

Coincidence?

A metaphor for what's ahead?

You decide.

All I know is the grand I planned to put towards debt went toward a new TV. This administration is already costing me money. *shakes head*
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