Saturday, Saturday!

[lunabee34]

1. Thanks to nightdog_barks for finding that Stephen King story for me: "That Feeling, You Can Only Say What It Is in French" from Everything's Eventual. It exists! Yay!

2.

The Imp of the Mind: Exploring the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Bad Thoughts by Lee Baer

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


Clearly and accessibly written while also impeccably researched. Really only deals with intrusive thoughts that are violent, sexual, and blasphemous in nature.



View all my reviews

I had to skim large swathes of this because the book recounts in great detail the intrusive thoughts the patients featured have about hurting their children and etc. It also talks a lot about Columbine and Susan Smith murdering her kids (which had both happened recently) and people's fears that they might be the same kind of violent. There's also a big section (designed to show people who experience intrusive thoughts that they aren't likely to become child murderers, for example) devoted to stats about who *does* commit child harm and why.

But, the book reaffirms the methods that the other books suggest which is another useful data point that not avoiding the context for the thought or the thought itself and accepting the thought without judgment is the evidence based best practice.

3. Josh had an MRI this week; he's been having issues with his hand this whole summer. Monday he goes back to figure out treatment; cross your fingers it's not surgery! I suspect it'll just be immobilization of some sort, but surgery was floated as an option at the initial consult before the MRI.

4. Man, being a grown-up is expensive. We need to upgrade our life insurance. The policies we have now are old 5 year term policies that State Farm doesn't even offer anymore, and they are eventually going to be extremely expensive. They'd also only cover less than half the mortgage. So we need policies that cover our current level of debt and that are locked in for decades, but damn is that a lot of money to pay to hope we don't die. LOL I don't get so fussed about the health insurance premiums because we use the hell out of our health care system. I always feel like I'm getting my money's worth. But this? Bah.

Comments

[rydra_wong]

But, the book reaffirms the methods that the other books suggest which is another useful data point that not avoiding the context for the thought or the thought itself and accepting the thought without judgment is the evidence based best practice.

Yeah, my experience with intrusive thoughts (sub-clinical OCDish stuff) is that it's like my brain poking me with a stick to see what will get the biggest reaction out of me. The bigger the reaction, the more it'll repeat it.

So the most useful thing I've found with intrusive thoughts is to adopt a kind of blase attitude -- "oh, THAT bullshit again." It's especially good if you can recognize rapidly when something's got that particular OCD-ish flavour to it. If it smells like OCD, you know it's not a legit anxiety! Just That Bullshit again.

You don't have to try to force it to go away, but don't have to dwell on it either (I think sometimes it can sound like "accepting" means soaking in whatever it is, and in my experience you really don't have to do that -- just go "oh yeah, it's that shit again, that happens, no big deal").

My favourite thing is a post I saw on Tumblr somewhere (can't find the link) about treating it like a Super Edgy and annoying person sitting in the backseat of your car, going "We could turn the wheel and crash into that truck!"

"Or we could not do that, Karen."

[lunabee34]

*nods nods nods*

I am not interested in pursuing any kind of diagnosis, but I am beginning to suspect I have some form of OCD or OCD-adjacent thing, and it's useful to me think about what's going on with me in those terms.

I've been practicing accepting. Every time I start going down the slippery slope of catastrophizing, I tell myself, "That is sure a thought you're having" a few times, and it seems to slide away.

[kore]

Yeah, I think I said this earlier, but being able to reframe it as "Oh, this is a panic attack/obsessive thinking/not Absolute Reality" really helps me.

Boy do I wish some of this had been around when I was a young adult or an adolescent, or even a kid, though. By now a lot of the patterns have been stamped in for decades and are kind of hard to deal with.

[lunabee34]

Oh man. You and me both. I mean, I am so glad that I got through childhood and into adulthood before I ever had to deal with social media. But on the other hand, I wish I had had the internet to look stuff up and figure out the world around me.

[kore]

Yeah, I was very isolated, and my parents Did Not Believe in conventional psychology (they sent me to a New Thought type therapist who had me try to talk to trees through putting my hand on the bark and "sensing their thoughts").

[lunabee34]

I don't even know what to say to that.

*hugs*

My parents told me that Obama was probably the Antichrist or least a demon?

So, I also have experience in parents being completely fucked up and WTF and OMG WHY ARE YOU INSANE?

[kore]

I also got prescribed Bach flower remedies! Which are....

My parents told me that Obama was probably the Antichrist or least a demon?

//HUGSback Ohhh my fucking God. Families of origin, man.

[lunabee34]

Yep.

It's pretty much nuts.

And they love me for sure, but they are crazy people.

[kore]

LOL forgot to complete sentence there. They're like a tiny bit of floral essence in water/brandy and you take a couple of drops a day. They gently restore the balance between mind and body by casting out negative emotions such as fear, worry, hatred and indecision which interfere with the equilibrium of the being as a whole. The Bach Flower Remedies allow peace and happiness to return to the sufferer so that the body is free to heal itself.
The Bach Flower Remedies are made from wild flowers and are safe for the whole family including pets. (PS. My negative emotions were not cast out.)

And yeah, my parents obviously loved me, and never set out to maliciously fuck me up (like one therapist put it: "It's not like they hid the vowels in your building blocks or anything"). But my God, they were terrible at parenting.

[lunabee34]

I am so surprised. That should have worked, kore!

My parents were pretty good parents to kid!me. The second I started to grow up and assert myself, then they started to suck. They also were not malicious, but they were definitely damaging without meaning to be.

[kore]

My favourite thing is a post I saw on Tumblr somewhere (can't find the link) about treating it like a Super Edgy and annoying person sitting in the backseat of your car, going "We could turn the wheel and crash into that truck!"

//DIES

That is awesome.

[notasupervillain]

Ugh being an adult is the worst.

[lunabee34]

No lie.

But this is necessary. If Josh died tomorrow, I couldn't cover the mortgage on my salary alone and vice versa. *sigh*

[notasupervillain]

Hugs

[lunabee34]

*hugs*

[makamu]

Keeping my fingers crossed for Josh!

[lunabee34]

Thank you thank you!!

[makamu]

No need to thank me :) I am happy to do so (virtual stranger or not)

[lunabee34]

<3

[amejisuto]

Good luck to Josh! I hope everything can be resolved without surgery. And yeah, sometimes being a grown-up sucks balls. Then again you can stay up late and watch tv. LOL.

[lunabee34]

And eat three desserts! (which I did yesterday LOL)

Thanks, sweetie.

[archersangel]

Then again you can stay up late and watch tv.

that's one of the few good things about it.

[amejisuto]

The sad thing is, I rarely stay up past ten anymore. LOL.

[lunabee34]

Heeee. Me either. I'm usually in bed by 9:30.

[kore]

YIKES I didn't remember it going into that much detail about actual murders! I am so sorry. I probably skimmed those too, as I remember really liking the book.

Josh had an MRI this week; he's been having issues with his hand this whole summer. Monday he goes back to figure out treatment; cross your fingers it's not surgery! I suspect it'll just be immobilization of some sort, but surgery was floated as an option at the initial consult before the MRI.

GACK. Fingers and toes crossed surgery is not needed!

[lunabee34]

Thank you!

And no worries. :) I get why he goes into such detail in the book--to really reassure people reading that they're not weirdos, that lots of people have the same kinds of thoughts, and that they don't need to worry they're going to act on them. It was actually interesting seeing the first round of discussion of Columbine in psych literature.

[forestofglory]

Good luck and healing vibes to Josh!

[lunabee34]

Thank you!

[spikedluv]

I hope things go well for Josh. And good luck with the adulting. o_O

[lunabee34]

Thank you!

[torachan]

My mom's husband has an ancient life insurance policy that's super cheap because the company has never changed the price of it over 40+ years. My mom said a sales person from the company comes by (in person!) once a year to ask if there's anything they want to update and usually they just say no, but this time my mom just out of curiosity asked the sales rep who the beneficiary was and it turned out it was his first wife still. XD My mom had just assumed he changed it, but he never did. The kicker is that not only has my mom been married to him for over twenty years, but she's actually his third wife! The policy is finally updated now lol.

[archersangel]

it's a good thing she asked!

[lunabee34]

OMG, I'm glad that got sorted out. *shakes head*