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lunabee34Do you believe in dislike at first sight? What about love at first sight?
I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in attraction at first sight, and I definitely believe in dislike at first sight. I think some people instantly click with each other (both romantically and platonically), but I also think that instant click may not last the test of time. I have some longstanding friends that I instantly clicked with, but other people I felt that immediate and intense attraction towards have fallen out of my life. I don’t think that immediate attraction is enough to make a romantic or a friendship relationship last (although I do think that relationships that begin with that spark are super fun and often much more intense and visceral than those that take a lot of time to establish).
Talk about a non-life altering incident that happened a long time ago and still bothers you.
Oh, man. I remember every single thing I ever did that was even slightly wrong or inconvenient or whatever, and my brain frequently decides to pull each one out and examine it like a priceless jewel. I know when I begin ruminating about that dumb conversational mistake I made with a stranger at the mall at least eight years ago now that I am headed for a downward spiral.
Is there anything people assume you like but you actually hate or are at least completely indifferent to?
Romantic poetry. I just. I just can't. I just don't like it. I don't, I don't. I don't want to ever read an ode to a season or a rumination on the sublime. I like isolated poems, of course, but on the whole, I do not want to read Keats or Wordsworth or Blake or Byron.
If you have siblings, are you as close to them as you were when you were growing up?
No.
My brother and I are two and a half years apart and three school grades apart. We played together a lot when I lived at home; we had to. We had one neighbor a tenth of mile away with a daughter a year older than me, and she and I played together a lot, but that was it for company. If we didn't play with each other we played alone.
When I left home for college, he was starting his tenth grade year. I started being my true self, and my parents got really upset and angry, and I began what has been a more than twenty year conflict with them over social, political, and religious values. My brother stayed home, and he embraced all their values, so he became the Golden Child who could do no wrong. I'd be lying if I said that never caused me to resent him, but I am happy to say that as I have gotten older, I have been able to mostly not blame him for what is not his fault. My parents are responsible for how they have chosen to treat me, and he is not.
I would like to be closer to him, but I don't know how to go about it. We text on birthdays and holidays. I see him a couple of times a year at my parents. And that's it. He and his wife are not close to my parents either which totally boggles my mind; I mean, they live very near to each other, they've never had any conflict with my parents the way I have, and my parents have been extremely generous in helping them out financially (as they have to me as well), yet mom will sometimes let it slip that she talks to me more than she talks to them. I can tell it really hurts her feelings, but she won't admit it. So, IDK. I'm not sure how to make that relationship any closer, but I'm glad we at least have a friendly relationship, and I always enjoy seeing him and his family.
What is something you love the idea of doing but know in reality you would probably hate?
I used to want to be an astronaut so hard, and now the idea of going up into a vacuum in a tin can and spinning around endlessly fills me with inexpressible existential horror and nausea.
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Date: 2020-05-25 12:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2020-05-25 04:34 pm (UTC)Me too! I would go nuts without my fandom friends.
I'm so glad you came back to dreamwidth.
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Date: 2020-05-26 12:46 pm (UTC)